Sexual Abuse Victim Abused by System

SLM

SLM

The Velvet Hammer
Mar 5, 2011
29,151
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Most victims of sexual abuse suffer a hard time because of it and I think youth have it worse. Just look at Rehtaeh Parsons. Most victims of rape are forced to have their character questioned should it go to trial.

What does not help in situations like this, and it drives me insane, is that most men will respond with "wish I had that teacher when I young". Next most common comment would likely be outrage over the double standard perpetrators of sexual abuse face based on their gender, and it's true but no one seems to realize that the first sentiment has a lot to do with it.

Now at 16 years of age you're venturing into statutory rape situations which are a grey murky area at best. There is good degree of sexual maturity at 16 (not complete sexual maturity but a degree of), and yes I'd be saying that if the genders of the victim and perpetrator were reversed as well. Not that I condone it in either scenario. In my mind there is something wrong with the mind of an "adult" who pursues someone younger particularly where the younger person is not quite completely matured.
 
S

Sal

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Sep 29, 2007
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We don't like victims in our society. They are pariah regardless of their sex. It's their fault. If it didn't happen to me then it is REALLY is their fault...they did the wrong thing, they responded incorrectly, they brought it on, they wanted it.

Victims are losers who are at fault.

Yes the tide is turning for female abuse victims but it has been a long time coming. They are paving the way and the terrain is loaded with grenades and straight up hill.

No doubt there are men and women who still think that male sexual abuse is an expression of the males' virility and desirability, scoring and winning. Well yes it is, to the perpetrator who is unbalanced and in a power position.

Kids of that age, male or female do not have the emotional balance nor the life experience to decide what is best for them. Any person in a position of power over them that encourages sexual contact has stepped over the boundary line.
 
Angstrom

Angstrom

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May 8, 2011
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Sal said:
We don't like victims in our society. They are pariah regardless of their sex. It's their fault. If it didn't happen to me then it is REALLY is their fault...they did the wrong thing, they responded incorrectly, they brought it on, they wanted it.

Victims are losers who are at fault.

Yes the tide is turning for female abuse victims but it has been a long time coming. They are paving the way and the terrain is loaded with grenades and straight up hill.

No doubt there are men and women who still think that male sexual abuse is an expression of the males' virility and desirability, scoring and winning. Well yes it is, to the perpetrator who is unbalanced and in a power position.

Kids of that age, male or female do not have the emotional balance nor the life experience to decide what is best for them. Any person in a position of power over them that encourages sexual contact has stepped over the boundary line.
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What is socially acceptable today wasn't a criteria in the evolutionary chain of living things. What's right or wrong is not part of our natural sexual impulses. It's not a virility, or his desirability. You can't change billions of years of evolution. It's like thinking you can cure homosexuality.
 
S

Sal

Hall of Fame Member
Sep 29, 2007
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Angstrom said:
What is socially acceptable today wasn't a criteria in the evolutionary chain of living things. What's right or wrong is not part of our natural sexual impulses. It's not a virility, or his desirability. You can't change billions of years of evolution. It's like thinking you can cure homosexuality.
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well we used to let children quit school after grade 6 and go to work too

some things just move forward as we evolve and learn to use our intellect over our instincts, we learn to make choices that help us to survive longer, stronger and healthier...this is one such area with our young adults in our society...the law says we will protect them not use and abuse them for our own twisted gratification

Australopithecus f*cked everything that moved...we do not condone that
 
Scooby

Scooby

Electoral Member
Mar 22, 2012
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I have question a facet of this case, and so many like it.
How much of the psycoligical distress is caused by the relationships and sexual acts, versus what is caused by the social reaction to it? I agree that this relationship was wrong and the teacher should be corrected of this behavior. Socially though, why does conjecture about damage done explode all about?
The perceived value of "wrong" is subjective. We will never make society better analyzing fairness, be it gender, race, or otherwise biased. Every single situation is different and should be viewed as such. Victims face a slippery slope, once they acknowledge and embellish on this.

The justice system that is supposed to work with moral authority, is not. Just people trying to solve a problem that is placed before them, with rules that favor wasting time for finiancial gain.

I remember one of my teachers back in high school, she was beautiful, and she was well aware of my attraction to her. I still think to this day, I would have very much liked to have a go with her, maybe that's why I see this the way I do.

Oh ya, it was law class too.
 
Angstrom

Angstrom

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May 8, 2011
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Sal said:
no at this point it can not

but it can be contained and stopped and our children protected

IF and WHEN we do the right thing
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Then males aren't curable. Stop trying to change us males are naturally the way we are we can't control it.

Nature made us that way.
 
IdRatherBeSkiing

IdRatherBeSkiing

Satelitte Radio Addict
May 28, 2007
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Sal said:
We don't like victims in our society.
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I think we like male victims a lot less. And even less likeable if they are white, straight, and/or rich.


Sal said:
They are pariah regardless of their sex. It's their fault. If it didn't happen to me then it is REALLY is their fault...they did the wrong thing, they responded incorrectly, they brought it on, they wanted it.

Victims are losers who are at fault.

Yes the tide is turning for female abuse victims but it has been a long time coming. They are paving the way and the terrain is loaded with grenades and straight up hill.

No doubt there are men and women who still think that male sexual abuse is an expression of the males' virility and desirability, scoring and winning. Well yes it is, to the perpetrator who is unbalanced and in a power position.

Kids of that age, male or female do not have the emotional balance nor the life experience to decide what is best for them. Any person in a position of power over them that encourages sexual contact has stepped over the boundary line.
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In either case the authority figure is using his position and experience to manipulate a not-of-age individual for sex.
 
Angstrom

Angstrom

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You could even appreciate that the majority of men live their entire life fighting to control dark natural unacceptable sexual impulses every day. And win over their instinct, so that this can be a more enjoyable life for the females of this world.
 
S

Sal

Hall of Fame Member
Sep 29, 2007
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Angstrom said:
Then males aren't curable. Stop trying to change us males are naturally the way we are we can't control it.

Nature made us that way.
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okay careful with that attitude and the law though, it might not work so well as a defense in court...

and

wait until your daughters grow up...you will get an attitude adjustment fast



IdRatherBeSkiing said:
I think we like male victims a lot less. And even less likeable if they are white, straight, and/or rich.
In either case the authority figure is using his position and experience to manipulate a not-of-age individual for sex.
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agreed

I remember hearing a group of women at work laughing because we all knew of a man who was physically small and his wife was twice his size and she would throw him down the stairs...it was a real chuckle for them

Angstrom said:
You could even appreciate that the majority of men live their entire life fighting to control dark natural unacceptable sexual impulses every day. And win over their instinct, so that this can be a more enjoyable life for the females of this world.
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yeah, I'll work on that 8O
 
S

Sal

Hall of Fame Member
Sep 29, 2007
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Angstrom said:
Good, cause I didn't chose to be a male, And I shouldn't feel ashamed to be one.
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and I didn't chose to be a female

but I should still be able to safely walk down the street in a pair of shorts

you don't need to feel ashamed of anything until you over step your bounds and hurt someone else due to being that sex
 
Angstrom

Angstrom

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May 8, 2011
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captain morgan said:
Society has preconceived notions representing the sentiment in your post, so much so that there is more of an onus of guilt automatically placed on men from the get-go
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Yes because we are the ones who have the impulse to aggress.

Sal said:
and I didn't chose to be a female

but I should still be able to safely walk down the street in a pair of shorts

you don't need to feel ashamed of anything until you over step your bounds and hurt someone else due to being that sex
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Understand that the majority of men have natural impulses to jump you they will need to control when they see you in the street.
Appreciate that they do.
 
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