Salmonella My Heart
...and other musings, as you ponder that new restaurant in the mall
(It usually starts like this)
It smells like salmonella
But I'm not a medical fella
So I will not tell you
Please don't eat the fish!
The beef is lookin' pinky
And the chicken's kind of stinky
So, if later there's
A rumblin' in your gut
Remember what I told you
They never should have sold you
A diarrhea causin',
Nauseous, crampy lunch!
You know you have my sympathies
When your gut starts with its symphonies
And you'll be tempted
To try and pass a little gas
But be warned, my fevered friend
What comes out your resentful end
Won't be welcome in your shorts
I have a hunch
The lesson you should have learned
Is to always be concerned
With how, and who it is
That cooks your midday meal
Just remember what I've said
And please don't end up dead
When salmonella kindly offers
Too good a deal!
- Murphy