Mom defends boyfriend accused of abusing, killing tot

[CDNBear]

No kidding, that would be the 'sick bastard' part where he believes his own B.S. stories. My understanding of abusers is they actually don't believe they aren't doing anything wrong. The cover stories would not be about their shame per say but about satisfying the prying inquisitions of others who just don't "get it". The guy who's wife 'walks into a door' for example, to his (sick) mind he's justified in what he did but he knows no one else will "understand" that he had "no choice", so stories are made up to avoid having to deal with that. At least, that's the way I understand the thought process, if you can actually call it that.

I get that, but you rarely see the abuser keep evidence no?

I've known abusive parents. I know abusive parents. I see the results every other Thursday.

What I've never noticed, was self collected evidence.

"Fell down the stairs" seems to always be the fall back excuse.... If the kid was that injured from falling down the stairs, wouldn't the boyfriend also have a few injuries as well?

He may have fallen on the child.

But the nail in the coffin is the list of long term injuries noted, especially many untreated injuries.... And parent with a brain would take their child to the hospital for such injuries so they would be treated.

If it wasn't for the extremely noticeable curve in our youngest boys arm, you wouldn't have been able to tell from his demeanor that it was broken.

Even the hospital staff were amazed at how calm and oblivious to his injury he was.

And no two year old that I ever come across runs into that many unfortunate "accidents" and if they did and those accidents were as serious as stated in this report, then if it's not abuse, it's clear neglect and not keeping a better eye out for your damn kids.

Possibly. But I know grown men that seem to have a fresh injury some shape or form every week.

 

[SLM]

I get that, but you rarely see the abuser keep evidence no?

I've known abusive parents. I know abusive parents. I see the results every other Thursday.

What I've never noticed, was self collected evidence.

Yeah, I don't know. Who can understand the thinking of an effed up mind?

If it wasn't for the extremely noticeable curve in our youngest boys arm, you wouldn't have been able to tell from his demeanor that it was broken.

Even the hospital staff were amazed at how calm and oblivious to his injury he was.

But you sought medical treatment, which is something this guy nor the mother seemed to do. And it's not one broken bone in this case but several, from what I read. So you could, conceivably miss one or possibly two (although I think it would be a real big stretch) injuries but several broken bones? Amongst all the rest of the bumps, bruises etc all over a three month period?

My son was a really rambunctious toddler, he sported some welts on his noggin at times from tearing through a room and bumping into things that were frightful to look at! But nothing even close to that kind of frequency.

(And when I say bumping I should say running head first into things! Why do little kids always run with their heads down? LOL. Good thing for him he had such a hard head. He's now fully grown, handsome and healthy and still has a hard head.)

Possibly. But I know grown men that seem to have a fresh injury some shape or form every week.

Grown men are not toddlers though. Grown men should know better, toddlers don't. That's why you watch them as closely as you do.

 

[CDNBear]

Yeah, I don't know. Who can understand the thinking of an effed up mind?

Who knows. It could be simple case of neglect, or poor parenting, as apposed to abuse.

But you sought medical treatment, which is something this guy nor the mother seemed to do. And it's not one broken bone in this case but several, from what I read. So you could, conceivably miss one or possibly two (although I think it would be a real big stretch) injuries but several broken bones? Amongst all the rest of the bumps, bruises etc all over a three month period?

We sought medical attention, because it was physically apparent something was wrong. If his arm didn't look like a hockey stick, his demeanor wouldn't have set off any bells.

I still bug SCB about it. She lost her sh!t when I bought them dirt bikes. They never hurt themselves once. She takes them skating, and baddabing, Kooter comes home with two pins in his arm.

Almost a full year after a car accident I was involved in, I pulled an almost three inch piece of the dash out of my lower leg.

Not all injuries are overwhelmingly obvious.

My son was a really rambunctious toddler, he sported some welts on his noggin at times from tearing through a room and bumping into things that were frightful to look at! But nothing even close to that kind of frequency.

My youngest should be in the Guinness Book of Wold Records. It has always amazed me that he manages to injure himself doing such benign things. But while participating in higher risk activities like dirt biking, playing football, fishing or hunting, he never gets a scratch.

Grown men are not toddlers though. Grown men should know better, toddlers don't. That's why you watch them as closely as you do.

I agree, but some people are accident prone.

 

[PoliticalNick]

I get that, but you rarely see the abuser keep evidence no?

I've known abusive parents. I know abusive parents. I see the results every other Thursday.

What I've never noticed, was self collected evidence.

He may have fallen on the child.

If it wasn't for the extremely noticeable curve in our youngest boys arm, you wouldn't have been able to tell from his demeanor that it was broken.

Even the hospital staff were amazed at how calm and oblivious to his injury he was.

Possibly. But I know grown men that seem to have a fresh injury some shape or form every week.

Defending the man CDNBoor? Says a lot about your character...or lack thereof!

Who knows. It could be simple case of neglect, or poor parenting, as apposed to abuse.

Defending an abuser again? Makes me wonder if it really was a skating accident, especially after this comment...

My youngest should be in the Guinness Book of Wold Records. It has always amazed me that he manages to injure himself doing such benign things. But while participating in higher risk activities like dirt biking, playing football, fishing or hunting, he never gets a scratch.

Almost a full year after a car accident I was involved in, I pulled an almost three inch piece of the dash out of my lower leg.

Now if you could get the piece out of your brain you might actually have a rational thought.

Yeah, I don't know. Who can understand the thinking of an effed up mind?

And it is obviously effed up!

My son was a really rambunctious toddler, he sported some welts on his noggin at times from tearing through a room and bumping into things that were frightful to look at! But nothing even close to that kind of frequency.

(And when I say bumping I should say running head first into things! Why do little kids always run with their heads down? LOL. Good thing for him he had such a hard head. He's now fully grown, handsome and healthy and still has a hard head.)

There is reasoning behind the phrase "bouncing baby boy" :lol:

 

[CDNBear]

Defending the man CDNBoor? Says a lot about your character...or lack thereof!

Defending an abuser again? Makes me wonder if it really was a skating accident, especially after this comment...

Now if you could get the piece out of your brain you might actually have a rational thought.

That makes three of you that need to learn how to read.

Geezus, you managed to go from not very bright to stupid in one post, lol.

 

[SLM]

Who knows. It could be simple case of neglect, or poor parenting, as apposed to abuse.

Neglect can be abuse, the younger the child the bigger the onus on the parent, or adult in charge of them, to prevent illness or injury. And again I'm still stuck on the time frame of three months here.

We sought medical attention, because it was physically apparent something was wrong. If his arm didn't look like a hockey stick, his demeanor wouldn't have set off any bells.

Well of course you sought medical attention. Which I'm sure you would have done as well if you'd come home to a report that the child had fallen down the stairs, at least you would have checked on them, not left them alone because they were sleeping.

I still bug SCB about it. She lost her sh!t when I bought them dirt bikes. They never hurt themselves once. She takes them skating, and baddabing, Kooter comes home with two pins in his arm.

I'm sure she takes that well, lol.

My youngest should be in the Guinness Book of Wold Records. It has always amazed me that he manages to injure himself doing such benign things. But while participating in higher risk activities like dirt biking, playing football, fishing or hunting, he never gets a scratch.

I agree, but some people are accident prone.

I've known kids like that sure, and yes some people are accident prone. But they don't all die at the age of two.

Defending the man CDNBoor? Says a lot about your character...or lack thereof!


Defending an abuser again? Makes me wonder if it really was a skating accident, especially after this comment...

Okay, first of all he's not defending the guy and the implication you are making about him and his wife is really freaking out of line. I can tell you that these are not abusive people and I'm really insulted and offended on their behalf. To the point where I'm considering reporting the post. It is completely speculative, totally insulting and far, far beyond the line of what is tasteful and tactful. You should apologize.

That makes three of you that need to learn how to read.

I better not be one of the three because I know damn well you were not defending the guy. I know exactly what you were saying, don't necessarily agree with all of it but I understand it completely.

 

[CDNBear]

Neglect can be abuse...

No argument.

Well of course you sought medical attention. Which I'm sure you would have done as well if you'd come home to a report that the child had fallen down the stairs, at least you would have checked on them, not left them alone because they were sleeping.

Well no, but I can't help but wonder how we would have reacted if the break wasn't noticeable.

I'm sure she takes that well, lol.

I usually get told, lol.

I've known kids like that sure, and yes some people are accident prone. But they don't all die at the age of two.

No, and given the level of accidents some of them have, I find that surprising.

Okay, first of all he's not defending the guy and the implication you are making about him and his wife is really freaking out of line.

You'll have to excuse him, he isn't bright at all, for starters. And in his defence, I did insinuate his posts do indicate someone that is prone to using violence to solve disagreements and that would be a legitimate reason for CAS to visit him. I can only imagine how loud he had to be for the neighbours to hear him "spanking" his kid, that they felt compelled to call CAS.

So I stand by that observation.

I can tell you that these are not abusive people and I'm really insulted and offended on their behalf. To the point where I'm considering reporting the post. It is completely speculative, totally insulting and far, far beyond the line of what is tasteful and tactful.

Nah, it's what he does. Well that and cry about other people trolling, lol.

You should apologize.

It would be as empty as his head.

I better not be one of the three because I know damn well you were not defending the guy.

Oh hell no. That was pete, EAO and pd here.

None of which comes as any great surprise.

I know exactly what you were saying, don't necessarily agree with all of it but I understand it completely.

I know you do, but you aren't daft like pd.

Not that defending him would be abhorrent either. Having adequate defence is a crucial part of due process. Something that pd obviously doesn't believe in. I blame his underdeveloped Neanderthal intellect, "Political Dick smash, it made me angry".

 

[SLM]

No argument.

Well no, but I can't help but wonder how we would have reacted if the break wasn't noticeable.

One other thing I noticed when rereading the article was the breaks included broken ribs, one of the most painful of all breaks from what I've been told. Again, I'm not looking at forensic evidence and yeah I'm relying a hell of a lot on my instincts here, but the deck of at least circumstantial evidence is mounting against him as far as I'm concerned. Where there is smoke there is often fire.

I usually get told, lol.

Yeah that sounds about right.Lol

You'll have to excuse him, he isn't bright at all, for starters. And in his defence, I did insinuate his posts do indicate someone that is prone to using violence to solve disagreements and that would be a legitimate reason for CAS to visit him. I can only imagine how loud he had to be for the neighbours to hear him "spanking" his kid, that they felt compelled to call CAS.

So I stand by that observation.

Ok, so first of all I was unaware of what you had insinuated, I was just reacting to what I saw before me, which to me, breached a line. If this has been a back and forth precedence already set, I'll back off that. I would be hugely insulted if someone had said that to or about me, incensed actually, and that was how and why I reacted the way I did.

I still think bringing family into things is tasteless and tactless; you and I have discussed people doing that before. But since you launched the opening shot on this one, it's a tit for tat thing so again, I'll back off and leave it entirely between you a Nick.

And I know nothing really offends you that gets said here but I personally thought the implication against SCB warranted something being said.

I do recall too the CAS post he made and, to my recollection, the spanking occurred in the back yard (sort of a one swat deal I think) that the neighbour saw.

And lastly, I doubt there will be any notice or credit given for actually defending the the post of the person offending you. But I actually think that's one of your most enduring charms: honesty.

Oh hell no. That was pete, EAO and pd here.

I didn't think so but I didn't feel like counting posts, lol.

Not that defending him would be abhorrent either. Having adequate defence is a crucial part of due process.

As an intellectual exercise I can see the appeal and the challenge, as a part of due process I agree that it's crucial. But this is about a young child dying far, far too young. Give him his defence and make it a good one, but I will never accept this guy, nor this woman either, as innocent whether there was active abuse or passive neglect, they are in the wrong in my eyes.

 

[CDNBear]

One other thing I noticed when rereading the article was the breaks included broken ribs, one of the most painful of all breaks from what I've been told. Again, I'm not looking at forensic evidence and yeah I'm relying a hell of a lot on my instincts here, but the deck of at least circumstantial evidence is mounting against him as far as I'm concerned. Where there is smoke there is often fire.

True, and either or, as you mentioned neglect is abuse.

Ok, so first of all I was unaware of what you had insinuated, I was just reacting to what I saw before me, which to me, breached a line. If this has been a back and forth precedence already set, I'll back off that. I would be hugely insulted if someone had said that to or about me, incensed actually, and that was how and why I reacted the way I did.

I still think bringing family into things is tasteless and tactless; you and I have discussed people doing that before. But since you launched the opening shot on this one, it's a tit for tat thing so again, I'll back off and leave it entirely between you a Nick.

It wasn't so much a back and forth as much as it was an observation, based on his own posts. In which he seems to go right to violently reacting to things he doesn't agree with or understand.

That and his story about the neighbours calling CAS, just seemed odd.

And I know nothing really offends you that gets said here but I personally thought the implication against SCB warranted something being said.

It isn't the first time he's taken unwarranted, unprovoked shots at SCB. So you can still think he's a dick for that.

And lastly, I doubt there will be any notice or credit given for actually defending the the post of the person offending you. But I actually think that's one of your most enduring charms: honesty.

Brutally even.

As an intellectual exercise I can see the appeal and the challenge, as a part of due process I agree that it's crucial. But this is about a young child dying far, far too young. Give him his defence and make it a good one, but I will never accept this guy, nor this woman either, as innocent whether there was active abuse or passive neglect, they are in the wrong in my eyes.

I've made no distinction either way, as you already know. But as you pointed out, neglect is abuse, so I agree wholeheartedly.

 

[PoliticalNick]

Okay, first of all he's not defending the guy and the implication you are making about him and his wife is really freaking out of line.

I do not know his wife and meant no implication or insinuation about her. CNDBozo I only know from CanCon and the way he treats people on here so I feel no remorse or regret at giving it right back at him.

I can tell you that these are not abusive people and I'm really insulted and offended on their behalf.

I can only tell you that on CanCon he IS abusive and evasive and not somebody who has earned any respect from me in any way.

To the point where I'm considering reporting the post.

Report away. The mods are well aware of the ongoing flame-war between us so I doubt they will do much. Besides which he accused me of abusing my kids first.

It is completely speculative, totally insulting and far, far beyond the line of what is tasteful and tactful.

So are all of the things he posts about me.

You should apologize.

I will apologize to you if you didn't know the whole story and were offended, but not to him.

 

[CDNBear]

Besides which he accused me of abusing my kids first.

Actually I didn't. I said it came as no surprise and would appear to be a valid response.

You really should learn to read.

 

[PoliticalNick]

I do recall too the CAS post he made and, to my recollection, the spanking occurred in the back yard (sort of a one swat deal I think) that the neighbour saw.

To expand the details a bit for your benefit, you are correct, we were in the yard and after the 3rd or 4th time I had instructed him not to touch my chainsaw I gave him a swat on the ass which was witnessed by my neighbor. She yelled at me, calling me an abuser. I told her to f*ck-off and mind her own business and might have insinuated that her kids were the biggest brats on the block and they could use a good spanking and that she could use one too for being a bad mother. She threatened to call CPS on me so I told her to go ahead which she did. Was a bit of a childish, petty exchange in retrospect but she really pissed me off with her holier-than-thou attitude and interfering.

 

[CDNBear]

... and they could use a good spanking and that she could use one too for being a bad mother.

I love it when you bolster my observations, lol.

Was a bit of a childish, petty exchange in retrospect but she really pissed me off with her holier-than-thou attitude...

LOL, your hypocrisy is funny.

 

[SLM]

Ok, first of all no one needs to apologize to me and I have no desire whatsoever to get in the middle of whatever this flame war, troll, counter-troll, reply to the troll, regurgitate the troll, whatever whatever. If I wanted to play along with stuff like that I would, but I don't.

I react to things that I see right in front of me, and I don't hold back my opinion on issues, statements or even repeated behaviour in certain circumstances. In my personal opinion, pulling in family members of posters is way out of line (in this situation it was SCB that took the boy skating when he broke his arm so the implication is against her and she's not here to defend herself, that's why I feel it's out of line), that's the reason and the only reason it would have been reported but in all honesty I hate like hell to bother the mods, they are busy enough already and don't need more b.s. to deal with. I always prefer to deal with things myself whenever possible.

In my personal opinion, I don't take what either of you posted about as being abusive in any way shape or form. But if the two of you want to go back and forth about it, that's up to you. I don't want to be a part of it.

Having said that though CDNBear is my friend, a real friend, and like all good friends I do tend to feel the need to defend if I see something that I consider over the top. Surely that is something that can be understood. And I know full well that he gives as good as he gets, which is why I stay out of the majority of it.

So what I'd prefer to do is to forget the entire matter and get back to the topic of the thread.

Are we all cool with that relatively speaking?

 

[PoliticalNick]

Ok, first of all no one needs to apologize to me and I have no desire whatsoever to get in the middle of whatever this flame war, troll, counter-troll, reply to the troll, regurgitate the troll, whatever whatever.

LMAO!

(in this situation it was SCB that took the boy skating when he broke his arm so the implication is against her and she's not here to defend herself, that's why I feel it's out of line)

I can understand how it could be construed as such even if it was not meant that way.

Having said that though CDNBear is my friend, a real friend, and like all good friends I do tend to feel the need to defend if I see something that I consider over the top. Surely that is something that can be understood. And I know full well that he gives as good as he gets, which is why I stay out of the majority of it.

I do understand. Not a problem. Might be nice if you taught him my name like you try to teach me his though. ;-)

Are we all cool with that relatively speaking?

How could anyone NOT be cool with you?

 

[CDNBear]

I can understand how it could be construed as such even if it was not meant that way.

I doubt you can, you aren't very bright.

My wife took them skating, not me.

So either you willfully accused my wife, or you're so stupid you didn't understand that she took them skating and not I.

I'm sure admitting to either or, will be like eating glass, lol.

Might be nice if you taught him my name like you try to teach me his though. ;-)

Political dick.

How could anyone NOT be cool with you?

Sucking up will get you nowhere, lol.

 

[PoliticalNick]

My wife took them skating, not me.

It was a skating accident with my wife....she walked into a door....he fell of the kitchen chair. A whole myriad of excuses to be used by an abuser.

So either you willfully accused my wife, or you're so stupid you didn't understand that she took them skating and not I.

The only thing I could accuse your wife of is a lack of sound judgement in choosing you.

I'm sure admitting to either or, will be like eating glass, lol.

I've never even thought about eating glass, that's foolish, tell me what it's like when you do it.

 

[CDNBear]

It was a skating accident with my wife....she walked into a door....he fell of the kitchen chair. A whole myriad of excuses to be used by an abuser.

So you are accusing my wife of abusing our son.

Thought so.

Told ya SLM.

The only thing I could accuse your wife of is a lack of sound judgement in choosing you.

Judgment has only one e, lol.

BTW, she seems happy, and consequently, knows how to spell judgment, lol.

I've never even thought about eating glass, that's foolish, tell me what it's like when you do it.

Thanks for proving me right, lol.

 

[PoliticalNick]

It was a skating accident with my wife....she walked into a door....he fell of the kitchen chair. A whole myriad of excuses to be used by an abuser.

So you are accusing my wife of abusing our son.

There is no accusation of anything there. It is a statement. You really do have a low IQ and lack of rational thought process.

Judgment has only one e, lol.

Down to using typos now CDNBozo....you get lamer by the minute.

Thanks for proving me stupid, lol.

FIFY!

 

[CDNBear]

There is no accusation of anything there. It is a statement.

Down to using typos now CDNBozo....you get lamer by the minute.

FIFY!

Ummm...

You really do have a low IQ and lack of rational thought process.

I know the irony is lost on you.

I wish you could make this harder for me, but you just can't.