It’s time now for Two Minutes with Lex Murphy, published every week in your hometown Nugget newspaper. Sponsored by the Country Lard Store, where 'Fat is fine, anytime!'
Country Lard! Country Lard!
It's always soft and squishy!
It's never cold and hard!
Yee haw!
---
Two Minutes with Lex Murphy
Les Junos (and Why Most Canadians Don't Care)
Homely, ain't it? The Juno has only been around since 1975, but the statuette has had five or six makeovers! I think that's more than Joan Rivers. Looking at this most recent incarnation, I think they better remake the makeover, all over again. - Lex
---
Have you noticed that Canada has had a confusing number of artsy fartsy, entertainment awards since 1949? What? You haven't? Oh...perhaps you just don't care! Relax. Most of them have vanished (praise be to the deity of your choice), but I'll bet almost no one knows (or cares) how or why most of them went the way of the Dodo.
What got me thinking about all these virtually meaningless, home grown trophies?
I just returned to the house after receiving my annual delivery of Juno Awards. The scrap truck was filled to the gunnels with shiny crud. It's getting silly. I don't know where to pile them. They're joining the other Junos, Genies, Geminis, Nellies (ACTRA) and RPM/Gold Leafs (Leaves?). (Wait, this will get confusing soon enough.) I get them because a lot of Canadian artists don't know (or don't care) that they've won one. I end up with the leftovers.
That will teach me for answering an ad in the Globe and Mail newspaper. The Academy was looking for a scrap dealer willing to accept the castoffs. You're probably thinking that I should be proud of that. No. Apparently, I was the only person stupid enough to respond!
My next door neighbour's pile is as high as mine, and the two are merging. They're straddling the fence! (He had the contract to scrap them before I did.) Together, we have a mish-mash of wood, plastic and metallic junk that is supposed to represent the best of music, film and television in Canada.
I'll try and sort out all these awards for you. Let's start with music, shall we?
If you were around in 1970, you would have seen the arrival of what was supposed to be a uniquely Canadian prize - the RPM/Gold Leaf Award. Remember them? No? That was the original name of what would become 'the Juno' in 1975. I guess the title, 'RPM/Gold Leaf Award' sounded silly, so they changed the name after five years.
By the way, the word 'Juno' is a bastardization of the name 'Juneau'. Someone desperately wanted to suck up to the Chairman of the Canadian Radio and Television Commission, Pierre Juneau. Goofy, eh?
Like the Junos, the CRTC was created in the 1970s, and it was a musician's dream! The Commission ensured that Canadians HAD to listen to music that they wouldn't normally have bothered with. In short, we got an earful of substandard melodies and trashy television! The government, through the CRTC, compelled broadcasters to play a minimum of 40% Canadian content. Your average Canuck must have been pretty insecure to agree to that! But fear not, faithful reader: We also had Pierre Trudeau's bilingualism legislation foisted upon us as well. In those days, we figured there was no end to the stupidity of government, but we were naive enough to believe that it would all work out for the best. Since then, it appears that we haven't learned a thing about electing good governments.
It was the 1970s, and likely explains why Anne Murray has the most Junos (24!) of any Canadian artist. Blech...
The RPM/Gold Leafs (Leaves?)/Junos were meant to spotlight accomplishments in the Canadian music industry. These awards were the responsibility of the Canadian Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (CARAS). Interestingly, CARAS was formed in 1975, just like the Junos. Before that, I guess no one was looking after Canadian music.
The Junos, as we know them today, were the musical version of another Canadian honour, the ACTRA Awards (The Association of Canadian Television and Radio Artists). The ACTRA awards started in 1972 (probably) because of the burgeoning Canadian film and acting scene. That, and they were looking for innovative ways to keep Canadian performers from moving to the US. (NOTE TO ACTRA: Stupid idea! It didn't work! The best are still heading south.)
The ACTRA awards were created to formally recognize outstanding writers, actors and broadcast journalists. The little statuette they handed out was called a Nellie, but they stopped distributing them in 1986 or 1987.
That's also when the Gemini Awards were born. But there was a split, or perhaps a recombination, or something...I'm confused.
They (Who are 'they' anyway?) created a television award, the Geminis, and at the same time, they created the Genies for Canadian film accomplishments. Well, they sort of created the Genies. See, Genies already existed, but not as Genies. They were originally called the Canadian Film Awards, and were doled out from 1949 until 1979. It's all making sense now! Humina! Humina!
Where was I? Ah yes, I remember. Someone was on a roll. In 2003, they renamed the Association of Canadian Television and Radio Artists (ACTRA) to the Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists (ACTRA). How clever! Same acronym!
That brings us up to the spring of 2012. The Academy of Canadian Cinema & Television announced that the Genies and the Geminis were being replaced by yet another award - The Canadian Screen Awards. These were designed to recognize excellence in Canadian film, television, and digital media productions. Ain't progress wonderful?
Since World War Two, we've had the Geminis, the RPM/Gold Leafs (Leaves?), Junos, the ACTRA Awards (with Nellies), Genies and the Canadian Screen Awards. There are probably others, but no one cares.
The statues given out over the past 65 years kept changing shape and material. They've been wooden, crystal, acrylic, metal and Lord knows what else. They even changed the size, but your average Canadian never noticed...
At the end of the day, most Canadians either are not aware of, or do not care about these awards. Few know the history. Fewer still even care that most of these aren't given out anymore. Don't worry, you're not alone by not caring. And it's nothing to be ashamed of! (Ahem...of which to be ashamed!) It's not sad and it's not about you. It's just Canadian artists trying to be meaningful.
Newsflash! It's not working!
Country Lard! Country Lard!
It's always soft and squishy!
It's never cold and hard!
Yee haw!
---
Two Minutes with Lex Murphy
Les Junos (and Why Most Canadians Don't Care)
Homely, ain't it? The Juno has only been around since 1975, but the statuette has had five or six makeovers! I think that's more than Joan Rivers. Looking at this most recent incarnation, I think they better remake the makeover, all over again. - Lex
---
Have you noticed that Canada has had a confusing number of artsy fartsy, entertainment awards since 1949? What? You haven't? Oh...perhaps you just don't care! Relax. Most of them have vanished (praise be to the deity of your choice), but I'll bet almost no one knows (or cares) how or why most of them went the way of the Dodo.
What got me thinking about all these virtually meaningless, home grown trophies?
I just returned to the house after receiving my annual delivery of Juno Awards. The scrap truck was filled to the gunnels with shiny crud. It's getting silly. I don't know where to pile them. They're joining the other Junos, Genies, Geminis, Nellies (ACTRA) and RPM/Gold Leafs (Leaves?). (Wait, this will get confusing soon enough.) I get them because a lot of Canadian artists don't know (or don't care) that they've won one. I end up with the leftovers.
That will teach me for answering an ad in the Globe and Mail newspaper. The Academy was looking for a scrap dealer willing to accept the castoffs. You're probably thinking that I should be proud of that. No. Apparently, I was the only person stupid enough to respond!
My next door neighbour's pile is as high as mine, and the two are merging. They're straddling the fence! (He had the contract to scrap them before I did.) Together, we have a mish-mash of wood, plastic and metallic junk that is supposed to represent the best of music, film and television in Canada.
I'll try and sort out all these awards for you. Let's start with music, shall we?
If you were around in 1970, you would have seen the arrival of what was supposed to be a uniquely Canadian prize - the RPM/Gold Leaf Award. Remember them? No? That was the original name of what would become 'the Juno' in 1975. I guess the title, 'RPM/Gold Leaf Award' sounded silly, so they changed the name after five years.
By the way, the word 'Juno' is a bastardization of the name 'Juneau'. Someone desperately wanted to suck up to the Chairman of the Canadian Radio and Television Commission, Pierre Juneau. Goofy, eh?
Like the Junos, the CRTC was created in the 1970s, and it was a musician's dream! The Commission ensured that Canadians HAD to listen to music that they wouldn't normally have bothered with. In short, we got an earful of substandard melodies and trashy television! The government, through the CRTC, compelled broadcasters to play a minimum of 40% Canadian content. Your average Canuck must have been pretty insecure to agree to that! But fear not, faithful reader: We also had Pierre Trudeau's bilingualism legislation foisted upon us as well. In those days, we figured there was no end to the stupidity of government, but we were naive enough to believe that it would all work out for the best. Since then, it appears that we haven't learned a thing about electing good governments.
It was the 1970s, and likely explains why Anne Murray has the most Junos (24!) of any Canadian artist. Blech...
The RPM/Gold Leafs (Leaves?)/Junos were meant to spotlight accomplishments in the Canadian music industry. These awards were the responsibility of the Canadian Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (CARAS). Interestingly, CARAS was formed in 1975, just like the Junos. Before that, I guess no one was looking after Canadian music.
The Junos, as we know them today, were the musical version of another Canadian honour, the ACTRA Awards (The Association of Canadian Television and Radio Artists). The ACTRA awards started in 1972 (probably) because of the burgeoning Canadian film and acting scene. That, and they were looking for innovative ways to keep Canadian performers from moving to the US. (NOTE TO ACTRA: Stupid idea! It didn't work! The best are still heading south.)
The ACTRA awards were created to formally recognize outstanding writers, actors and broadcast journalists. The little statuette they handed out was called a Nellie, but they stopped distributing them in 1986 or 1987.
That's also when the Gemini Awards were born. But there was a split, or perhaps a recombination, or something...I'm confused.
They (Who are 'they' anyway?) created a television award, the Geminis, and at the same time, they created the Genies for Canadian film accomplishments. Well, they sort of created the Genies. See, Genies already existed, but not as Genies. They were originally called the Canadian Film Awards, and were doled out from 1949 until 1979. It's all making sense now! Humina! Humina!
Where was I? Ah yes, I remember. Someone was on a roll. In 2003, they renamed the Association of Canadian Television and Radio Artists (ACTRA) to the Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists (ACTRA). How clever! Same acronym!
That brings us up to the spring of 2012. The Academy of Canadian Cinema & Television announced that the Genies and the Geminis were being replaced by yet another award - The Canadian Screen Awards. These were designed to recognize excellence in Canadian film, television, and digital media productions. Ain't progress wonderful?
Since World War Two, we've had the Geminis, the RPM/Gold Leafs (Leaves?), Junos, the ACTRA Awards (with Nellies), Genies and the Canadian Screen Awards. There are probably others, but no one cares.
The statues given out over the past 65 years kept changing shape and material. They've been wooden, crystal, acrylic, metal and Lord knows what else. They even changed the size, but your average Canadian never noticed...
At the end of the day, most Canadians either are not aware of, or do not care about these awards. Few know the history. Fewer still even care that most of these aren't given out anymore. Don't worry, you're not alone by not caring. And it's nothing to be ashamed of! (Ahem...of which to be ashamed!) It's not sad and it's not about you. It's just Canadian artists trying to be meaningful.
Newsflash! It's not working!