ITN...when is your next trip to Canada?
- Thread starter Jay
- Start date
Re: RE: ITN...when is your next trip to Canada?
Nothing medication and a hefty dose of Viagra couldn't handle.
Jay said:
Nothing medication and a hefty dose of Viagra couldn't handle.
This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster.
The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you got, no problem."
Well, Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So he buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a peptalk, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.
Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the henhouse and Randy takes off like a shot. ~WHAM!~ He nails every hen in there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. ~WHAM!~ He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen, he's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns. The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day.
Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob, stone cold, in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."
Randy opens one eye, nods toward the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer...."
The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you got, no problem."
Well, Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So he buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a peptalk, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.
Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the henhouse and Randy takes off like a shot. ~WHAM!~ He nails every hen in there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. ~WHAM!~ He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen, he's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns. The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day.
Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob, stone cold, in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."
Randy opens one eye, nods toward the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer...."
Re: RE: ITN...when is your next trip to Canada?
I thought a chicken farmer like youself would like that
Jay said:
I thought a chicken farmer like youself would like that
Re: RE: ITN...when is your next trip to Canada?
Action? As in the action sheep farmers get?
Jay said:No,
Action? As in the action sheep farmers get?
Re: RE: ITN...when is your next trip to Canada?
I'm not aware of what you NY types do to sheep...maybe you could expand on that....
I think not said:Jay said:No,
Action? As in the action sheep farmers get?
I'm not aware of what you NY types do to sheep...maybe you could expand on that....
HAHA! This is pretty funny.
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NEW YORK - An attempt to erect the world's largest Popsicle in a city square ended with a scene straight out of a disaster film — but much stickier.
The 25-foot-tall, 17 1/2-ton treat of frozen Snapple juice melted faster than expected Tuesday, flooding Union Square in downtown Manhattan with kiwi-strawberry-flavored fluid that sent pedestrians scurrying for higher ground.
Firefighters closed off several streets and used hoses to wash away the sugary goo.
Snapple had been trying to promote a new line of frozen treats by setting a record for the world's largest Popsicle, but called off the stunt before it was pulled fully upright by a construction crane. Authorities said they were worried the thing would collapse in the 80-degree, first-day-of-summer heat.
"What was unsettling was that the fluid just kept coming," Stuart Claxton of the Guinness Book of World Records told the Daily News. "It was quite a lot of fluid. On a hot day like this, you have to move fast."
Snapple official Lauren Radcliffe said the company was unlikely to make a second attempt to break the record, set by a 21-foot pop in Holland in 1997.
The giant pop was supposed to have been able to withstand the heat for some time, and organizers weren't sure why it didn't. It had been made in Edison, N.J., and hauled to New York by freezer truck in the morning.
_____________________________________________
NEW YORK - An attempt to erect the world's largest Popsicle in a city square ended with a scene straight out of a disaster film — but much stickier.
The 25-foot-tall, 17 1/2-ton treat of frozen Snapple juice melted faster than expected Tuesday, flooding Union Square in downtown Manhattan with kiwi-strawberry-flavored fluid that sent pedestrians scurrying for higher ground.
Firefighters closed off several streets and used hoses to wash away the sugary goo.
Snapple had been trying to promote a new line of frozen treats by setting a record for the world's largest Popsicle, but called off the stunt before it was pulled fully upright by a construction crane. Authorities said they were worried the thing would collapse in the 80-degree, first-day-of-summer heat.
"What was unsettling was that the fluid just kept coming," Stuart Claxton of the Guinness Book of World Records told the Daily News. "It was quite a lot of fluid. On a hot day like this, you have to move fast."
Snapple official Lauren Radcliffe said the company was unlikely to make a second attempt to break the record, set by a 21-foot pop in Holland in 1997.
The giant pop was supposed to have been able to withstand the heat for some time, and organizers weren't sure why it didn't. It had been made in Edison, N.J., and hauled to New York by freezer truck in the morning.
Run its the attack of the sticky pink ooze sure sounds like a old B movie :lol: Only in New York
Last year we had a condom festival. From chocolate covered edible condoms to the longest stretching condom.
By the way Jay, did you know all condoms reveal an ID code when you roll it down all the way?
By the way Jay, did you know all condoms reveal an ID code when you roll it down all the way?