How do children come to hate family?

[Josephine]

The sad thing is we don't know if she was influenced by the older man, or if he was stupid enough to be under the spell of a twelve year old. WE don't know the history of the family or how well they did or didn't function as a family unit. To many family issues are swept under the rug these days, but someone should have seen some tell tale signs that all was not right.
A few decades ago, my wife and I were involved in foster parenting, and sometimes we had children with real challenges is so far as behavioral problems. You have no idea how manipulative some of the kids can be even before they reach the teen years. I can't imagine what must have been going through that childs mind that would allow her to do something like that.
All of you are right, a 23 year old guy should not be hangning around with a 12 year old, but keep in mind in your state of shock it may have been the child that was the ring leader, after all what smart 23 year old would be dating a child.

It's not about the 23 year old being "smart". He's a hebophile. He gets off on prepubescent or pubescent children. I know that some children seem like bad seeds and some of them can be manipulative, but according to the email this man sent to this child, he sounds very forthcoming in his ideas to kill her parents and have it be just the 2 of them.

12 year old children do not go around seducing grown men. This is a common excuse actually for someone caught molesting a child. Cases have been thrown out of court because a molester has convinced the court that he was seduced...that the child was so sexual and he was confused and made a bad choice. Bull ****! I think this man knew what he was doing and he got off being with a pubescent child. The child may have been abused within the family...makes the child more susceptible to outside abuse as well.

I think the emails sent to the 12 year old child from this 23 year old man shows just how involved and encouraging he was.

The 12 year old should still have to pay for the crime of murder...but this man deserves a lot more responsibility than I think he's getting. He's a hebophile...and I think his manipulation of this child should be further investigated in the courts.

 

[Pangloss]

Josephine:

Quote:
"12 year old children do not go around seducing grown men. This is a common excuse actually for someone caught molesting a child."

Absolutes are never true. Except in math. And that Bon Jovi sucks.

Pangloss

 

[Vereya]

I think that the parents probably have brought this upon themselves, cruel as this might sound. I mean, young girls turn to much older men when they lack the father figure in their lives. That's one point, and the other point is that teenagers are often angry or dissatisfied with their parents, like Triedit said, but it doesn't result in murder every time. These parents probably failed to teach their child some very important things, so I guess this is a really serious case of parental negligence. And another point, as an after-thought - the girl probably had lost contact with reality, and didn't really understand what she was doing. However, this kind of thing should have some serious symptoms thoughtful parents would have noticed.

 

[daisygirl]

As a former teacher, I could probably rattle off at least a hundred reasons why children come to hate their family, which is the title of this thread.

As for this case, I doubt the real reason will ever be fully revealed...but you can bet that if the 23 year old boyfriend had not been in the picture, she probably would have held off for a couple of more years.

As for killing the little brother, my guess would be that the thinking was there would be no one to take care of him so he would be better off dead and, besides, you wouldn't want him to have to suffer with the knowledge of how his family was killed and by whom. Yes, 13 year olds often do think this way. So do parents that kill their children when they kill themselves.

 

[IdRatherBeSkiing]

I think that the parents probably have brought this upon themselves, cruel as this might sound. I mean, young girls turn to much older men when they lack the father figure in their lives. That's one point, and the other point is that teenagers are often angry or dissatisfied with their parents, like Triedit said, but it doesn't result in murder every time. These parents probably failed to teach their child some very important things, so I guess this is a really serious case of parental negligence. And another point, as an after-thought - the girl probably had lost contact with reality, and didn't really understand what she was doing. However, this kind of thing should have some serious symptoms thoughtful parents would have noticed.

Why must we feel it necessary to blame the dead parents/victims of the murder in order to defend the actions of a 12 year old girl? This is about the 4th or 5th post which automatically assumed that the parents must have brought this on themselves. There seems to be an awful lot of justification presented to the murder of an innocent 8 year old boy as well. I have not heard anything in the way of facts to support any of these claims. I just find it strange that a lot of posters here seem to blame the victim. What is the need to somehow remove all blame from this 12 year old murderer?

 

[Josephine]

Josephine:

Quote:
"12 year old children do not go around seducing grown men. This is a common excuse actually for someone caught molesting a child."

Absolutes are never true. Except in math. And that Bon Jovi sucks.

Pangloss

ok..true...there are no absolutes. (except maybe Bon Jovi;-)) But I don't believe that most 12 year old girls go around seducing grown men. AND...if they do try to seduce...a grown man should know that it's illegal and wrong. My 7 year old niece is very sexual in her behaviour and I can see some man taking advantage of that. I've read some books on pedophiles and molesters and many of them do state that they were seduced and that they should have known better and they simply made a mistake.

I also believe that a 12 year trying to seduce or be sexual towards a grown man has some other issues not being dealt with...like a missing father figure, or being sexually used or abused previously.