The whole lesbian culture is really quite interesting. In the "old days" couples generally mimicked straight relationships by having one butch and one femme partner. I think part of that was due to having to be so underground. Lesbians could not gather freely and develop as a culture. The only model for relationships we had were straight ones, therefore copied the roles as a way of defining relationships.
Today it's very different. There are still "diesel dykes" around but most of the lesbians I know are just regular folk. In my relationship I guess I am more femme in many ways ... the makeup, the heels, the little short skirts. My partner is more "natural". But I'm also the one who chops the wood, fixes the vehicle and moves the heavy furniture. My chick writes the music, does the laundry, finds my lost items and generally takes care of me. She is the nurturer. The caregiver. If you saw us, you would probably guess she was a dyke but would probably guess I was not by appearance.
Most of the couples I know no longer use the "male/female" model in definining their relationship. They are two women together. As a culture we are finally able to begin to identify as unique couplings, separate from heterosexuals. We've moved away from the stereotypes. That's a good thing.
I think it also represents a shift away from from the angry feminist views of the seventies. We no longer have to be man haters or man imitators. The real freedom has come in stepping entirely away from worrying about the testosterone factor. For me, I love being a woman and I'm hard-wired to like women, but I don't have to dislike men to define myself. I'm a feminist of the Camile Paglia variety.
Here are some quotes from her:
"Madonna is the true feminist. She exposes the puritanism and suffocating ideology of American feminism, which is stuck in an adolescent whining mode. Madonna has taught young women to be fully female and sexual while still excerising control over their lives."
"Something went very wrong in feminism ... Every revolution eventually needs a new revolution. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm not trying to get rid of feminism. I'm trying to reform it, to save it, to bring it into the twenty-first century, in a way that allows the sexes to come together instead of being alienated from each other, that allows sex to be HOT and not have, like wet blankets of sermonizing thrown over it." (SA&AC p. 274)
"An enlightened feminism of the twenty-first century will embrace all sexuality and will turn away from the delusionalism, sanctimony, prudery, and male-bashing of the MacKinnon-Dworkin brigade. Women will never know who they are until they let men be men." (V&T p. 111)
She's controversial -- some of the feminists despise her -- but I love her. Anyway, I got off topic I think.
