Deal of the Millinium Church weds Socialism

[darkbeaver]

Sanctus I'v been commissioned to advance a merger proposal;
my clients the Socialists of de Planet (earth) propose;

Business Proposal
A merger between The Holy Roman Catholic Church hereafter known as the Catholic people and the Socialists hereafter referred to as the right people.The right people recognize both groups depend on the same shared resource (the people). We should merge our efforts in this respect so as to ensure proper resource management and continuation of the resource in a healthy wealthy and wise manner to minimize the cost of people maintenance.

We present the following contitions for your consideration, these are preliminary.

1/ Karl Marx must become a saint.
2/ We have the power of taxation of the church
3/ We get the bodys while they are quick
4/ We get a 15% cut of the souls
4.5/We give you the bodys and souls after the aformentioned deductions
5/ We protect you (insurance)
6/ We provide technicle support
7/ We and the catholic people suppress the capitalists and especially those renegade Christians
8/ We get eaqual voting with the cardinals vote for vote
9/ We have an annual meeting/mass

DarkBeaver Consultants Inc: 2007
RR1 Canada
Down by the pond
Tel: 904-666-0000 Fax: 904-666-0001

 

[marygaspe]

I was literally laughing so hard by the end of this that I had to stop and compose myself. You should consider writing a book of this type of material!!

 

[sanctus]

Sanctus I'v been commissioned to advance a merger proposal;
my clients the Socialists of de Planet (earth) propose;

Business Proposal
A merger between The Holy Roman Catholic Church hereafter known as the Catholic people and the Socialists hereafter referred to as the right people.The right people recognize both groups depend on the same shared resource (the people). We should merge our efforts in this respect so as to ensure proper resource management and continuation of the resource in a healthy wealthy and wise manner to minimize the cost of people maintenance.

We present the following contitions for your consideration, these are preliminary.

1/ Karl Marx must become a saint.
2/ We have the power of taxation of the church
3/ We get the bodys while they are quick
4/ We get a 15% cut of the souls
4.5/We give you the bodys and souls after the aformentioned deductions
5/ We protect you (insurance)
6/ We provide technicle support
7/ We and the catholic people suppress the capitalists and especially those renegade Christians
8/ We get eaqual voting with the cardinals vote for vote
9/ We have an annual meeting/mass

DarkBeaver Consultants Inc: 2007
RR1 Canada
Down by the pond
Tel: 904-666-0000 Fax: 904-666-0001

Hmmm, seems slightly in favour of the right people? What's in it for us? I counter-propose that:

1. I get to be the Pope.

2. We do not share voting rights of the cardnials (have to keep some perks )

3. The right people agree to form special police units in conjuction with the Swiss guard whose sole function will be to hunt down all heretics, protestants and anyone else we don't like for public trials(presided over by our bishops of course)

4.The right people get a 5% cut of the souls, we need a bigger cut because it's expensive running the Church!

5. We form a joint committee of both our groups, equally balanced with a Catholic official as chairman whose function is to propose legislation for a joint political party to be called THE RIGHT CATHOLIC PARTY OF CANADA.

6. The Roman Catholic religion becomes the official religion of Canada and all other denominations are deemed as being against the law and membership deemed as traitors of the state.

7. We'll make Marx a Saint, but the right people agree, in return for this, to annually and publically denounce Martin Luther as the devil's own

signed, Us, them, "The" Church

 

[Toro]

As long as I can make a ton of money, I'm in!

 

[sanctus]

As long as I can make a ton of money, I'm in!

Want to be Cardinal? The red would probably suit you;-)

 

[canadarocks]

I was literally laughing so hard by the end of this that I had to stop and compose myself. You should consider writing a book of this type of material!!

Me too. Funny stuff, though I'm not sure what "Millinium" means?!

 

[darkbeaver]

Hmmm, seems slightly in favour of the right people? What's in it for us? I counter-propose that:

1. I get to be the Pope.

2. We do not share voting rights of the cardnials (have to keep some perks )

3. The right people agree to form special police units in conjuction with the Swiss guard whose sole function will be to hunt down all heretics, protestants and anyone else we don't like for public trials(presided over by our bishops of course)

4.The right people get a 5% cut of the souls, we need a bigger cut because it's expensive running the Church!

5. We form a joint committee of both our groups, equally balanced with a Catholic official as chairman whose function is to propose legislation for a joint political party to be called THE RIGHT CATHOLIC PARTY OF CANADA.

6. The Roman Catholic religion becomes the official religion of Canada and all other denominations are deemed as being against the law and membership deemed as traitors of the state.

7. We'll make Marx a Saint, but the right people agree, in return for this, to annually and publically denounce Martin Luther as the devil's own

signed, Us, them, "The" Church

I'll consult with the group/stop/good to open parlay/stop/weather bad in utopia today/stop/sending gigars/stop/:wave:

 

[canadarocks]

I'll consult with the group/stop/good to open parlay/stop/weather bad in utopia today/stop/sending gigars/stop/:wave:

You two are killing me here, thanks for the chuckle boys!

 

[darkbeaver]

Top Secret Classified (SSAOTF)
SANCTUS


1/ You can't be pope unless we agree to article #8, we vote for you, get it
2/ Martin Luther goes to hell-------------------carried unanamousely by the SSAOTF council
3/ We need 7.5% of the souls-------------for our forigne currency reserves
4/ We agree with the joint committee, group should be---The Right Peoples Catholic Party of Earth
5/ We think your article 6/ is to wastefull, we propose heavy taxation instead of criminal charges,
subject to revision as revenu runs out
6/ We suggest getting green, to that end we suggest a slight change in the order of the following,
God the Father of Nature, substitute the GtFoN in all your documents


SSAOTF EXECUTIVE COUNCIL year of god 2007

 

[darkbeaver]

As long as I can make a ton of money, I'm in!

Toro, good to see your interest, your past and present affiliations may require a special dispensation from Benny xiv, however we will need financial expertease I'm sure an accomodation can be made, you will be required to present your credentials for either the RC Church or Socialists Internationale.If you don't presently meet those requirments I'm certain a small donation to either could loosen up the board enough to allow your passage through the eye of the needle.:wave:

 

[dude1981]

Toro, good to see your interest, your past and present affiliations may require a special dispensation from Benny xiv, however we will need financial expertease I'm sure an accomodation can be made, you will be required to present your credentials for either the RC Church or Socialists Internationale.If you don't presently meet those requirments I'm certain a small donation to either could loosen up the board enough to allow your passage through the eye of the needle.:wave:

Dudes, you rock! I like your sense of humour.

 

[dude1981]

Darkbeaver, what does "Millinium" mean?

 

[darkbeaver]

Darkbeaver, what does "Millinium" mean?

It's misspelling for millinnium which I can't memorrise becuz it got too many letters.:wave:

 

[sanctus]

Top Secret Classified (SSAOTF)
SANCTUS


1/ You can't be pope unless we agree to article #8, we vote for you, get it
2/ Martin Luther goes to hell-------------------carried unanamousely by the SSAOTF council
3/ We need 7.5% of the souls-------------for our forigne currency reserves
4/ We agree with the joint committee, group should be---The Right Peoples Catholic Party of Earth
5/ We think your article 6/ is to wastefull, we propose heavy taxation instead of criminal charges,
subject to revision as revenu runs out
6/ We suggest getting green, to that end we suggest a slight change in the order of the following,
God the Father of Nature, substitute the GtFoN in all your documents


SSAOTF EXECUTIVE COUNCIL year of god 2007

After careful examination, prayer and top secret policy meetings in the Vatican, we have determined that we are almost, almost I say, prepared to accept this revised draft, with one exception. We cannot change the labels and definitions for God. We interrupted him via cell at His country retreat to ask His feelings in the matter and He was quite clear that He was not going to have his defintions changed for anybody. We assume this annoyed Him anyway because the poor Bishop we had call Him was vaporized in a blast of lightening which we can only assume was God's means of saying NO. Therefore, we must leave the intitial terms in place, ie" Father, Son, Holy Spirit. With the modern emphasis on trying to make us all seem lovey-dovey to the world as a Church, we dare not anger the Chairman to the point where He begins to vaporize people. We strongly feel this would be a bad image for the proposed merger.

 

[marygaspe]

After careful examination, prayer and top secret policy meetings in the Vatican, we have determined that we are almost, almost I say, prepared to accept this revised draft, with one exception. We cannot change the labels and definitions for God. We interrupted him via cell at His country retreat to ask His feelings in the matter and He was quite clear that He was not going to have his defintions changed for anybody. We assume this annoyed Him anyway because the poor Bishop we had call Him was vaporized in a blast of lightening which we can only assume was God's means of saying NO. Therefore, we must leave the intitial terms in place, ie" Father, Son, Holy Spirit. With the modern emphasis on trying to make us all seem lovey-dovey to the world as a Church, we dare not anger the Chairman to the point where He begins to vaporize people. We strongly feel this would be a bad image for the proposed merger.

Better go for it darkbeaver..we just can't have people getting vaporized all over the place!:brilsmurf:

 

[darkbeaver]

I'll see the council later this week but they're not going to be happy, the lightning thing is typical upper management stuff,I think he's bluffing and we'll be taking a strike vote, the squirills are livid. Gods got to bend a little Sanctus. You were a bit quick off the mark going to the top before we had a bussiness plan ready wern't you? With the fish and everything dissappearing we're running out of members. Our backs are against the wall down here if he won't think green he's going to be the owner of a dead planet, how's that going to look? Forget the Bishop they spontaneously burst into flames all the time, shoulda been a cardinal doing the talking anyway. If you can't get a deal going at this level we'll have to think again about backing you in the top spot man.And you can forget those cigars.:wave:

 

[darkbeaver]

Better go for it darkbeaver..we just can't have people getting vaporized all over the place!:brilsmurf:

Sorry kid, I thought we we're close to a breakthrough goddamn lightning, that's bully stuff.:wave:

 

[marygaspe]

Sorry kid, I thought we we're close to a breakthrough goddamn lightning, that's bully stuff.:wave:

That's God for you, don't get him mad

 

[sanctus]

I'll see the council later this week but they're not going to be happy, the lightning thing is typical upper management stuff,I think he's bluffing and we'll be taking a strike vote, the squirills are livid. Gods got to bend a little Sanctus. You were a bit quick off the mark going to the top before we had a bussiness plan ready wern't you? With the fish and everything dissappearing we're running out of members. Our backs are against the wall down here if he won't think green he's going to be the owner of a dead planet, how's that going to look? Forget the Bishop they spontaneously burst into flames all the time, shoulda been a cardinal doing the talking anyway. If you can't get a deal going at this level we'll have to think again about backing you in the top spot man.And you can forget those cigars.:wave:

OK, tell you what..let's see what your people have to say. I think keeping His titles the same is the least we can do for Him. I mean, consider the beating He has been getting in the press!

 

[darkbeaver]

That's God for you, don't get him mad

If he hasn't burned me by now, he's either got plans for me or he's spent. You can tell Sanctus I just got off the phone with our eastern rep and he tells me the Muslims will make Karl a prophit. Sanctus has got forty eight hours to produce or we're going to Mecca with the deal. And oh ya we're cutting off the fish, see how a month of fridays with baloney suits you.:wave: