AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!

[manda]

:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

I am having a hell of a battle with my ex husband right now ( word to the wise: divorce is not fun, nor quick, nor cheap....choose your life partner with care, I learned this for the second time around.)

Well, they say misery loves company, so please, indulge me here. I would love to hear about the worst, funniest, most bizarre, etc. break up you or anyone you know have ever experienced.

Come one, come all, and spill the beans 8O

 

[ol' dawg]

Well, it wasn't divorce, but it was a breakup.

I had given a gf a pearl ring while she was studying nursing. A few months later I got a card with a hypodermic needle attached and the ring on the needle. The card said, "At the current time I see our relationship as incompatable and our friendship equally undesirable. Get the point?"

Ouch!

 

[manda]

Ouch!

That's rough!...my situation is so bloody messy right now, it would take days to sort it out to describe it, and then days to actually describe it. Man, I dont feel like I'm old enough, or able to deal with this crap.

 

[Steve French]

RE: AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Try growing up.

Also, stop watching the Jerry Springer show - those people are lowlife, lowbrow, childish trailer-trash imbeciles on parade possessing the IQ of plant life.
There is no such thing as a "lifes partner" - that is a schoolgirl fantasy. No knight in shining armor either. No Prince Charming. All bullshiate fairytales we tell little girls.
Notice all the animosity and hatred toward this person whom you supposedly "loved" at one time?
This indicates the problem (Arrested Adolescence) is likely with BOTH people regardless of the circumstances.

I am friends with my ex-wife as well as many of my ex-girlfriends. That is what adults do.

That will be five cents for the psychological help, if you please.

 

[manda]

Re: RE: AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Try growing up.

Also, stop watching the Jerry Springer show - those people are lowlife, lowbrow, childish trailer-trash imbeciles on parade possessing the IQ of plant life.
There is no such thing as a "lifes partner" - that is a schoolgirl fantasy. No knight in shining armor either. No Prince Charming. All bullshiate fairytales we tell little girls.
Notice all the animosity and hatred toward this person whom you supposedly "loved" at one time?
This indicates the problem (Arrested Adolescence) is likely with BOTH people regardless of the circumstances.

I am friends with my ex-wife as well as many of my ex-girlfriends. That is what adults do.

That will be five cents for the psychological help, if you please.

Bite Me.

I did not choose to have my husband have an affair, nor did I choose to have him walk out on me despite the fact that I had tried to forgive and go to counselling to work through it.

I have tried to be an adult about things a$$hole, but unfortunately, that route has gotten me nowhere. Some people refuse to mediate.

Until you get some of the facts FECK OFF

 

[ol' dawg]

One of my other experiences was to get involved with someone who was recently divorced. The anger between her and her ex lingered for a long time. A friend of hers commented that it would be 3 years before her ex would start to act civilly, she thought she couldn't wait (there was a joint custody to deal with), but it turned out to be pretty accurate.

I only suggest you don't carry his 'stuff'. You don't have to react to spitefullness and hatred by being the same, you can react in ways that are easier on your stomach.

 

[manda]

One of my other experiences was to get involved with someone who was recently divorced. The anger between her and her ex lingered for a long time. A friend of hers commented that it would be 3 years before her ex would start to act civilly, she thought she couldn't wait (there was a joint custody to deal with), but it turned out to be pretty accurate.

I only suggest you don't carry his 'stuff'. You don't have to react to spitefullness and hatred by being the same, you can react in ways that are easier on your stomach.

I honestly try not to be, and I am currently in a relationship that is wonderful, but he continues to try to hold control over my life, and it is when I refuse to allow him to do that, is when things get nasty. We can get along wonderfully, as long as I go along with exactly what he wants...and I can't do that all the time. It is then he gets nasty, and I have to do damage control. I kind of get sick of being the bigger person, considering he's 5 years my senior, and I really get upset when his new lady (read woman of affair) tries to put her nose into business that is not her own.

 

[manda]

P.s _ S.F Who the hell mentioned that idiot Jerry Springer?

I'd just like to hear break-up stories some people have really funny ones and don't mind sharing, nobody said anything about the midget fights and other circus like bull that happens on that show.

If you don't want to talk about one, don't, nobodys twisting anyones arms....I apologize for my attack, but I refuse to allow someone to call me down with out refuting it for the load of crap that it was

 

[Steve French]

RE: AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

....thank you for so aptly illustrating my point.

The Doctor is IN.

 

[manda]

Re: RE: AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

....thank you for so aptly illustrating my point.

The Doctor is IN.

would you care to defend this statement, kindly elsewhere...I don't believe I started this thread for personal attacks.

What is your problem sweetie? Not eat your wheaties this morning and now have to put someone else down who is going through a really rough time so you feel better about yourself?

Go back and read the rest fo the posts please so perhaps you will better understand...if you need help, go ahead and ask. BTW, before you go call somebody down, perhaps you should get some of the facts. Should you have done this to someone who was in a similar situation with weaker resolve, you may have just earned a suicide on you conscience

 

[Cosmo]

Re: RE: AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Try growing up.

Also, stop watching the Jerry Springer show - those people are lowlife, lowbrow, childish trailer-trash imbeciles on parade possessing the IQ of plant life.
There is no such thing as a "lifes partner" - that is a schoolgirl fantasy. No knight in shining armor either. No Prince Charming. All bullshiate fairytales we tell little girls.
Notice all the animosity and hatred toward this person whom you supposedly "loved" at one time?
This indicates the problem (Arrested Adolescence) is likely with BOTH people regardless of the circumstances.

I am friends with my ex-wife as well as many of my ex-girlfriends. That is what adults do.

That will be five cents for the psychological help, if you please.

You are an ass! How can you make that kind of judgement call on someone you don't know???

Congratulations on your most mature relationship behaviour. It's unfortunate that high moral ground doesn't extend to forums.

 

[ol' dawg]

Oh man, manda ... you're situation looks worse and worse the more you reveal. I'm not a psychologist, so I'm not going to do more than say I'm trying to understand what you're going thru and give you and ear that listens for a while.

It sounds like he knows your buttons and gets a certain satisfaction in pushing them. My first concern is, is there a threat of violence ? What would happen if you just laughed at him when he tries to control you? Or found another way to show that he no longer has control?

Are there certain times that these issues come up, like when you see each other when he is taking or bringing back the kids ? If so, is there a way that you can be farther away physically when it occurs? My former gf (with the kids) would always argue when she saw her ex. She would be upset but it wouldn't last as long if she didn't have to see him.

 

[Steve French]

RE: AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

I've found that people are mostly the architects of their own problems. You will realize this as you grow up - till then you will blame other people for failing to fulfill your head full of unrealistic expectations.

Oh, and Dr Phil too. He's an idiot. Don't listen to anything he says.

 

[manda]

Oh man, manda ... you're situation looks worse and worse the more you reveal. I'm not a psychologist, so I'm not going to do more than say I'm trying to understand what you're going thru and give you and ear that listens for a while.

It sounds like he knows your buttons and gets a certain satisfaction in pushing them. My first concern is, is there a threat of violence ? What would happen if you just laughed at him when he tries to control you? Or found another way to show that he no longer has control?

Are there certain times that these issues come up, like when you see each other when he is taking or bringing back the kids ? If so, is there a way that you can be farther away physically when it occurs? My former gf (with the kids) would always argue when she saw her ex. She would be upset but it wouldn't last as long if she didn't have to see him.

No threat of violence ol' dawg, just head games, and a person can only take so much before getting worn down. He knows how to manipulate and I have to be very careful around him.

We have been going to mediation, and it has gotten us nowhere, you cand mediate with someone who refuses to compromise.

The only time he gets loud or harsh is when I won't give into him, and I try to do that as little as possible for my son's sake, but there are things that I just can't allow.

Thank-you for your concern, I really appreciate it.

Shall we return to the lighter mood to which this thread was intended?

 

[Said1]

RE: AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

I have often found being the bigger person involves giving in or sucking it up to avoid a confrontation.

Being friends isn't always possible, especially when you want the person to go away and never come back!

My ex thought he could woo me back one time with a KFC mega meal.......how white trash is that?
I said "get lost" and replied with "Well F**K You then!" and staggered off with two arm loads of chicken and macaroni salad.

If he had egg rolls.........

 

[Reverend Blair]

My ex thought he could woo me back one time with a KFC mega meal

I woulda gone. I love KFC.

 

[peapod]

But you do have to take a higher ground don't ya if you have childern. I saw my sister do it, I saw her X do it, they put their childern first, thats why they are happy well adjusted people. Most people can't tho.

Hey frenchie, stop being such a prick :roll:

 

[manda]

But you do have to take a higher ground don't ya if you have childern. I saw my sister do it, I saw her X do it, they put their childern first, thats why they are happy well adjusted people. Most people can't tho.

Hey frenchie, stop being such a prick :roll:

You have to at least try to take the high ground...hence the attempt a mediation. However, it does not seem to work, it takes two people to compromise, notone demanding and the other giving...I have given all that I can at this point, I have to be met half way. If someone told me that I'd be soing this 10 years ago, when I was 16, I would have laughed int their face.

Said 1...KFC? 8O ...perhaps if it had of been a combo from a chinese food resturant? :wink:

 

[Twila]

RE: AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Manda, my ex was a real asshole. He believed that the way you won an arguement was to hurt the other person. Argue til you make them cry.

I found myself sucked into all kinds of arguements. I actually became violent (beat him with the cordless phone). What's weird is that my daughters father (my other ex) and I never fought like that when we were together or when we broke up. I've never been the violent type. This guy would back me into corners and threaten to kill my cat. It was the most insane relationship I'd ever had.

I found myself being a completely different person. When we broke up he told me to throw out his stuff if he didn't come and get it by a certain date.

The date came and went and I held onto the stuff for a month after that date. He owed me $200 and I was hoping to get the money back.

I ended up taking the stuff to the dump. Except for his family photo's (I took those to his P.O office) Wouldn't you know he'd show up 2 days after? Wanting his stuff. Didn't have my money.

He'd stop by wanting to use the phone and try to talk to my daughter. At first I let him. But he'd tell her stuff like "your mom's becoming quite the slut, eh? Or if I had company over he'd make comments about my sexual preferences to them in front of my daughter.

Sometimes you can't be friends. We started out as friends. He was a great friend before the relationship. I don't know what happened. I'd never experienced that before and certainly haven't after. I think maybe we were like gasoline and fire. Explosive!

 

[manda]

Re: RE: AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Manda, my ex was a real asshole. He believed that the way you won an arguement was to hurt the other person. Argue til you make them cry.

I found myself sucked into all kinds of arguements. I actually became violent (beat him with the cordless phone). What's weird is that my daughters father (my other ex) and I never fought like that when we were together or when we broke up. I've never been the violent type. This guy would back me into corners and threaten to kill my cat. It was the most insane relationship I'd ever had.

I found myself being a completely different person. When we broke up he told me to throw out his stuff if he didn't come and get it by a certain date.

The date came and went and I held onto the stuff for a month after that date. He owed me $200 and I was hoping to get the money back.

I ended up taking the stuff to the dump. Except for his family photo's (I took those to his P.O office) Wouldn't you know he'd show up 2 days after? Wanting his stuff. Didn't have my money.

He'd stop by wanting to use the phone and try to talk to my daughter. At first I let him. But he'd tell her stuff like "your mom's becoming quite the slut, eh? Or if I had company over he'd make comments about my sexual preferences to them in front of my daughter.

Sometimes you can't be friends. We started out as friends. He was a great friend before the relationship. I don't know what happened. I'd never experienced that before and certainly haven't after. I think maybe we were like gasoline and fire. Explosive!

Like I said, with us...we were friends, then dated and were engaged for a year and a half before we got married. He didn't like that I had lots of friends, male and female, and felt that I should not spend so much time on University papers etc, after we got married. He didn't want to take me to find a new car when my old one died, he liked to know where I was at all times...

As I look at this I would like to add that he does have good points, and is wonderful to his new girlfriend, i guess that he felt that I didn't need pampering. I'm a lot smaller than her too, so a lot of my guy friends would kind of watch out for me if we were out and some guy would hit on me. the ex didn't like people hitting on me, but he didn't like these guys watching out for , or being around me at all. I guess he had trust issues...mixed with a little possesiveness and controlling.

He was looking for me to turn into someone like his mom I think. My failing is that I couldn't compromise who I am or ask him to either. I just couldn't be the wife he needs, and he can'e be the husband I need. Unfortunately we didn't learn that until we struggled to make it through 5 very rough years of marriage

Now he acts like a jackass, but I think that there are outside influences speaking though him too