A Rain of Alien Nuclear Weapons Wiped Out Martian Civilisation

Spade

Spade

Ace Poster
Nov 18, 2008
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Breaking News!

A highly esteemed scientist, a Dr. John Brandenburg, armed with a theory developed over time though discussions with the late Carl Sagan, reveals evidence of nuclear-armed aliens having destoyed Martian civilisation. Is this a portent of Earth's future?

Nuclear War Killed All Life On Mars And Yup, There Were Totally Aliens On The Red Planet

I wish to thank the Spaminator for inspiration and SLM for guidance.

All my best,
Spade

Addendum

It is not my intention to panic the volunteer Martian colonists, among whom are brave Canadians. The destruction of the civilisation was thousands of millenia ago. I am certain they have more to fear from an Israeli-Iranian spat.

Rest easy, brothers and sisters.
 
Spade

Spade

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This thread, though critical in so many ways in understanding what may be Earth's future, has not received the attention, or invective, from nearly enough CC posters. Perhaps this thread has not angered them sufficiently? Maybe...

Okay, you are all wankers and wankettes!
 
SLM

SLM

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Mar 5, 2011
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Spade said:
This thread, though critical in so many ways in understanding what may be Earth's future, has not received the attention, or invective, from nearly enough CC posters. Perhaps this thread has not angered them sufficiently? Maybe...

Okay, you are all wankers and wankettes!
Click to expand...

No, no, no, no. That's not the way. I can appreciate the effort, but you're coming across all Blackleaf and you want to be coming across more Mad Max. To truly garner the attention necessary we must provide for the following:


AGW is a massive conspiracy of the conspirators.

Harper has helmet hair.

Justin has fine hair but will destroy us all.

911 is just a number.

ISIS is conspiring with the alien invasion force.

And last but not least:

You have an alien death ray aimed at your head.....



....what do yo do? What do you do?
 
CDNBear

CDNBear

Custom Troll
Sep 24, 2006
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Take two gold medals from petty cash, and collect 1000 internets for a job well done.

I almost squirted coffee out my nose, twice in one thread.

Well done!
 
spaminator

spaminator

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Oct 26, 2009
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Spade said:
Breaking News!

A highly esteemed scientist, a Dr. John Brandenburg, armed with a theory developed over time though discussions with the late Carl Sagan, reveals evidence of nuclear-armed aliens having destoyed Martian civilisation. Is this a portent of Earth's future?

Nuclear War Killed All Life On Mars And Yup, There Were Totally Aliens On The Red Planet

I wish to thank the Spaminator for inspiration and SLM for guidance.

All my best,
Spade

Addendum

It is not my intention to panic the volunteer Martian colonists, among whom are brave Canadians. The destruction of the civilisation was thousands of millenia ago. I am certain they have more to fear from an Israeli-Iranian spat.

Rest easy, brothers and sisters.
Click to expand...
 
Spade

Spade

Ace Poster
Nov 18, 2008
12,822
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SLM said:
No, no, no, no. That's not the way. I can appreciate the effort, but you're coming across all Blackleaf and you want to be coming across more Mad Max. To truly garner the attention necessary we must provide for the following:


AGW is a massive conspiracy of the conspirators.

Harper has helmet hair.

Justin has fine hair but will destroy us all.

911 is just a number.

ISIS is conspiring with the alien invasion force.

And last but not least:

You have an alien death ray aimed at your head.....



....what do yo do? What do you do?
Click to expand...

Well, please allow me to address several of your objections.

1. First of all, the massive alien attack on Mars stripped it of its protective atmosphere, and the planet flash froze. A similar alien bombardment of Earth certainly would put a stop to any discussion of climate change (aka Global Warming).
2. Harper does not have helmet hair. The word "helmet" suggests he could remove his hair at night or before hanky-panky (aka Wrestling with his dog). His hair is glued and stapled on to prevent its being blown off by a gust of wind or when he removes his cowboy hat after a quick visit to his riding.
3. I have never had fine hair. I have always envied the Beatles. Perhaps a beetle as PM would be an improvement. On a sad note... George Harrison Memorial Tree Killed by Actual Beetles | SPIN | Music News
4. Yes, 911 is a number; however, it is not an ordinary number. 911 is a prime number. The following link is provided for those who constantly whine, "Link, link, show us the goddamn link!" [SOLVED] Is 911 a prime number? ?
5. ISIS must be careful; they could be double crossed! Another link for the doubters follows. ALIEN WEAPON DESTROYED ABRAMS TANK IN IRAQ?
6. I am aware of the danger. Mum has told me to wear a toque when going outside.

PS
Was the "wankers" comment a little strong?
 
spaminator

spaminator

Hall of Fame Member
Oct 26, 2009
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so mars was nuked by aliens. :( perhaps we are their decendants. I wonder what race of aliens nuked mars? eg. mercurians, venusians, earthians, jupiterians, saturnians, uranusians, neptunians, plutonians, nibiruans, etc. ;)
 
SLM

SLM

The Velvet Hammer
Mar 5, 2011
29,151
5
36
London, Ontario
Spade said:
Well, please allow me to address several of your objections.
Click to expand...

Please don't consider them 'objections'. They were more 'constructive suggestions'.

1. First of all, the massive alien attack on Mars stripped it of its protective atmosphere, and the planet flash froze. A similar alien bombardment of Earth certainly would put a stop to any discussion of climate change (aka Global Warming).
Click to expand...
And human life as we know it. Interesting.

2. Harper does not have helmet hair. The word "helmet" suggests he could remove his hair at night or before hanky-panky (aka Wrestling with his dog). His hair is glued and stapled on to prevent its being blown off by a gust of wind or when he removes his cowboy hat after a quick visit to his riding.
Click to expand...
He has hair inspired by Lego. Don't sugar coat it.

3. I have never had fine hair. i have always envied the Beatles. Perhaps a beetle as PM would be an improvement. On a sad note... George Harrison Memorial Tree Killed by Actual Beetles | SPIN | Music News
Click to expand...
Perhaps one just need a different kind of beetle?



He does make that cute little honking noise.

4. Yes, 911 is a number; however, it is not an ordinary number. 911 is a prime number. The following link is provided for those who constantly whine, "Link, link, show us the goddamn link!" [SOLVED] Is 911 a prime number? ?
Click to expand...
A quick Google search has revealed that there are many prime numbers.
https://www.google.ca/search?q=pipe...=0CAYQ_AUoAQ#tbm=isch&q=prime+number&imgdii=_
Thus it remains inconsequential.

5. ISIS must be careful; they could be double crossed! Another link for the doubters follows. ALIEN WEAPON DESTROYED ABRAMS TANK IN IRAQ?
Click to expand...
This may not be a bad thing. Hopefully they won't be reading our correspondence and avert this disaster.

6. I am aware of the danger. Mum has told me to wear a toque when going outside.
Click to expand...
Yes a toque is an absolute must. Don't forget the tin foil lining.

PS
Was the "wankers" comment a little strong?
Click to expand...
On the contrary, not strong enough.
 
Spade

Spade

Ace Poster
Nov 18, 2008
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spaminator said:
so mars was nuked by aliens. :( perhaps we are their decendants. I wonder what race of aliens nuked mars? eg. mercurians, venusians, earthians, jupiterians, saturnians, uranusians, neptunians, plutonians, nibiruans, etc. ;)
Click to expand...

That information can be found on a reptilian pair of boots in the Museum of Civilisation, across the Ottawa River from the Centre Block. Worth a visit! The boots are in the Haida exhibit, near the bentwood box.
 
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