11 Women Who Would Make a Killer 007

Jinentonix

Executive Branch Member
Sep 6, 2015
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Well, it would just be wrong to violate the holy canon law.

Funny how it don't violate the canon when Othello is played by Orson Welles or Geronimo by Chuck Connors.
Ummm you understand canon right? One of your examples is correct, the other is just plain ol' historical inaccuracy. Like John Wayne playing Genghis Khan or Jodie Turner-Smith playing Anne Boleyn.

But of course in this case you don't get it. James Bond is 007. 007 is James Bond. Look, even if they retired James and replaced him with his his brother Albert, then Albert Bond would still be 008. It don't matter the gender, if you change the title character's name they can't be 007.

If Hollyweird is so desperate to pump out themes instead of story and character development, maybe they should create their own worlds and characters and leave existing ones alone. Ya know, instead of trying to suck whatever last bit of revenue they can from a franchise before they destroy it completely.

Meanwhile, it would appear that Natalie Portman is going to be the next Thor. Now, I don't know about you but when I picture the Norse god of thunder my mind doesn't exactly think of a 5'3" Jewish woman who weighs 108 lbs soaking wet.

And finally, John Leguizamo was just whining about the new Mario Bros Movie being made. He cried that it's going to be a "White" production with no "Latinx actors playing the leads". I'll let that sink in while you say Mario and Luigi real slow in your head and maybe you'll begin to understand just how fucking dumb all this CRT shit really is.
I know, let's start altering all the great works of art in the art galleries and museums that don't represent today's multicultural and "gender fluid" society so that they do. I mean who the fuck cares. It's only someone else's artistic vision, no sweat off our nuts, right?
While we're at it, let's say fuck it to historical accuracy. Gonna make a movie revolving around Asian folklore? Fuck it, get an Australian Aborigine to play the lead. Gonna make a Lord of the Rings TV series? Fuck it. Who cares if the world of Middle Earth revolves around Norse, Celtic and Anglo-Saxon mythology, let's cram a bunch of multiracial gender fluidity in there. We gots a message to spread ya know.
Gonna make a movie about Michael Jackson? Hey, you guessed it, fuck it. Let's get one of the Fiennes brothers to play him. Yep, they did that. I mean if you can't find a Black actor and/or musical artist to portray Michael Jackson, you ain't looking too hard.
 
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Tecumsehsbones

Hall of Fame Member
Mar 18, 2013
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Ummm you understand canon right? One of your examples is correct, the other is just plain ol' historical inaccuracy. Like John Wayne playing Genghis Khan or Jodie Turner-Smith playing Anne Boleyn.

But of course in this case you don't get it. James Bond is 007. 007 is James Bond. Look, even if they retired James and replaced him with his his brother Albert, then Albert Bond would still be 008. It don't matter the gender, if you change the title character's name they can't be 007.

If Hollyweird is so desperate to pump out themes instead of story and character development, maybe they should create their own worlds and characters and leave existing ones alone. Ya know, instead of trying to suck whatever last bit of revenue they can from a franchise before they destroy it completely.

Meanwhile, it would appear that Natalie Portman is going to be the next Thor. Now, I don't know about you but when I picture the Norse god of thunder my mind doesn't exactly think of a 5'3" Jewish woman who weighs 108 lbs soaking wet.

And finally, John Leguizamo was just whining about the new Mario Bros Movie being made. He cried that it's going to be a "White" production with no "Latinx actors playing the leads". I'll let that sink in while you say Mario and Luigi real slow in your head and maybe you'll begin to understand just how fucking dumb all this CRT shit really is.
I know, let's start altering all the great works of art in the art galleries and museums that don't represent today's multicultural and "gender fluid" society so that they do. I mean who the fuck cares. It's only someone else's artistic vision, no sweat off our nuts, right?
While we're at it, let's say fuck it to historical accuracy. Gonna make a movie revolving around Asian folklore? Fuck it, get an Australian Aborigine to play the lead. Gonna make a Lord of the Rings TV series? Fuck it. Who cares if the world of Middle Earth revolves around Norse, Celtic and Anglo-Saxon mythology, let's cram a bunch of multiracial gender fluidity in there. We gots a message to spread ya know.
Gonna make a movie about Michael Jackson? Hey, you guessed it, fuck it. Let's get one of the Fiennes brothers to play him. Yep, they did that. I mean if you can't find a Black actor and/or musical artist to portray Michael Jackson, you ain't looking too hard.
So. . . it's "canon" to take Bond out of his time (the Cold War), but not "canon" to change his melanin count?
 

Jinentonix

Executive Branch Member
Sep 6, 2015
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Olympus Mons
So. . . it's "canon" to take Bond out of his time (the Cold War)
Wow, really reaching huh? Bond is a secret agent who was simply a product of the Cold War. Last time I checked espionage and secret agents and "wet work" weren't all related to the Cold War at that time, nor did those "jobs" disappear when the Cold War ended.
, but not "canon" to change his melanin count?
Why does it need to be changed at all? Does ownership of art entitle one to alter it if they're not the original creator? Would it be cool if I altered a piece of Native art I owned to reflect MY views, put it on public display and charged the public for the privilege of looking at it?
How about if someone bought 'The Scream' and changed the man in the painting to a transsexual cross-dresser to "reflect today's society", and then put it on public display? How about altering the Mona Lisa so she's Black?
 

Ron in Regina

"Voice of the West" Party
Apr 9, 2008
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Regina, Saskatchewan
For an American version of James Bond I think the perfect candidate would be Melissa McCarthy!! She could totally play the average American woman to blend into a crowd….. Plus she does a straight roll well and she has comedy skills which can add to some flavour.
 

Jinentonix

Executive Branch Member
Sep 6, 2015
8,794
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Olympus Mons
I'm surprised Charlize Theron didn't make the list. She did okay in a few tough-girl roles.
The problem with switching a protagonist from a male character to a female one is you either have to make the antagonists females as well or else make the protagonist a total Mary-Sue and really, nobody wants to watch that kind of Mary-Sue shit except for feministas engaging in mental masturbation.
 

Nick Danger

Council Member
Jul 21, 2013
1,513
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Penticton, BC
The problem with switching a protagonist from a male character to a female one is you either have to make the antagonists females as well or else make the protagonist a total Mary-Sue and really, nobody wants to watch that kind of Mary-Sue shit except for feministas engaging in mental masturbation.
It's going to interesting to see what they come up with. Killing him off at the end of the latest movie does give them sort of a blank cheque, but there's not much disputing that the whole franchise has been a bastion of masculinity so far.
 

Jinentonix

Executive Branch Member
Sep 6, 2015
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Olympus Mons
It's going to interesting to see what they come up with. Killing him off at the end of the latest movie does give them sort of a blank cheque, but there's not much disputing that the whole franchise has been a bastion of masculinity so far.
So what if it has? You say that like it's a bad thing. Killing off James Bond also means his replacement would have to be at least Agent 008, not 007. Contrary to popular belief among those who aren't really fans of the franchise, '007' isn't a licence to kill. The '00' designation is the licence to kill and the '7' means James Bond is/was the 7th agent to receive one. Therefore his replacement could not be '007' as well.

I'll ask you the same question as I asked T-Bones. Does ownership of art, when you're not the creator, entitle you to fundamentally alter it for public consumption?
It's one thing when you have the original artist's permission. It's quite another to shit on a dead person's grave and say "fuck you" while you destroy their creation and then charge people to see it.
Ah, but Ian Fleming was White and came from a well to do family so he and his work clearly deserve zero respect.
 

Hoof Hearted

House Member
Jul 23, 2016
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We don't need a female Bond...or a gay Batman and Robin...or a bisexual Superman.

The majority of people are not LGBTQ. Why are so many outlets pandering to this group? What is there to gain from all of this nonsense?