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This is the image we have of him as he appeared at Liverpool Crown Court today. It's illegal under Section 41 of the Criminal Justice Act 1925 to take photographs in a court as a trial is in progress, so all we have are drawings of the defendant in court.

London's Metropolitan Police have decided that rather than employ the best man for the job they would rather employ someone who culturally enriches the police force. And this is what you get: Some fella who can hardly speak English. Even his colleague in the background seemed embarrassed...

In a vibrant and inclusive show of rage an esteemed experimental cosmologist took it upon himself to destroy a London bus station...

An immigrant PhD geophysicist culturally enriched a British man by stabbing him

A 17-year-old charged with murdering three girls who were stabbed at a Taylor Swift-themed dance class in Southport has been named. Axel Muganwa Rudakubana is also charged with 10 counts of attempted murder after eight other children and two adults were seriously injured in the attack on...

Meanwhile, a group of Far Right Hitlerite bigots demonstrated outside 10 Downing Street today in protestation of three little girls being culturally enriched in Southport. These thugs are nothing short of Hitlerish England supporters and either need to be imprisoned or to be culturally...

Meanwhile, the lovely people of the Essex seaside resort of Clacton were culturally enriched after witnessing a traditional Middle Eastern knife battle. The good folk of Southend had their culture enriched as they watched the two Middle Eastern physicists demonstrate to the locals their...

Rioting has broken out in Hartlepool, East Yorkshire - on the opposite coast to Southport - as anger swells through the country after a Rwandan Muslim murdered three little girls. The throng threw missiles - including a metal beam - at Humberside Police as yet another lovely asylum seeker...

Falklands War, 1982 Britain (Blackleaf) Vs Argentina (Serryah) Battle of Goose Green Comprehensive British (Blackleaf) victory In this video experts tell us the circumstances of the battle and how victory was achieved by Blackleaf

It's not being narcissistic. My view of me Vs you is an accurate metaphor of the 1982 Battle of Goose Green where the Argentines came along thinking they own the place and then the British turned up and destroyed them.

I've just beaten you. Although that wasn't difficult. All I had to do was turn up. It was like the British against the Argentines at Goose Green back in '82. And I think you're the one with issues. Though I've thought that for a few years now.

So does that mean I won? Seems like it.

Last time I checked Canada was created by the British Empire. Talk about being ungrateful. Show more gratitude in future. Do you tell your own parents that you weren't their creation and that you somehow spawned spontaneously? I don't understand why people like you try to change the truth...

I think you need to read your own history.

I'll say it again: My Scottish grandfather had a wife and three children. They were my grandmother, my mother and my two uncles (by the way, my Uncle Alan took his first ever steps as a toddler within Stonehenge. And even that isn't a lie). My grandfather was a British Army officer and he was...

Slightly unrelated, but my mum's oldr I have two bad newses for you... 1) I'm telling the truth. 2) Your country wouldn't even exist without the British Empire. Although I'm not fussed if you don't believe me. It'll hardly keep me awake at night when I know it's true. I can barely bring...

Like many Brits I have parents and grandparents who were involved with the British Empire. The British Empire only ended in 1997 when we gave Hong Kong to China. My two grandfathers were officers in the British Army and you didn't fuck with them. They would give their life for me and the rest...

Own? I don't know about that, but we certainly ruled you.

All of my grandfathers and great-fathers were British officers ruling over territory. For example: my mother and her two brothers lived in Kenya in the 1960s in a huge villa with their parents because their father (my grandfather) was a British Army officer who was responsible for a large...