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Zuck yourself, asshole! If you can bend over that far. . .

But. . . but. . . chrome lug nuts are FREE! All ya need's a lug wrench!

Elon Musk is messing with you. . . or maybe me. Probably both.

Dealing drugs and gangbanging have lousy health care.

Don't confuse him. He ain't real bright.

Hey, they're doing the jobs Americans don't want!

That'th quite a lithp you have there.

Could be. Better safe than sober. . . er. . . sorry.

Medicinal liquor? Hmm. . . I have been feeling a mite peaked lately.

Sigh. The noun form of "correct" is "rectitude." Only imbeciles make nouns by taking adjectives and adding "ness."

See, that's why the Kennedys made it to the top. They dealt in whiskey. I keed, I keed! I've actually had some quite decent Canadians lately.

Not as much fun as crashing and burning a casino!

Oh. Canadians. That's nice. Pretty good comedians.

I'd bet real dollars Al Capone never heard of Moose Jaw in his life.

When polled, 80% of respondents said "What the fuck are you talking about?", 15% said "Fuck off!", and 5% said "Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump!" None could find Alberta on a map of North America where the Canadian provinces were clearly labelled.

And THAT, cher, is the important part!

The two-paragraph Wikipedia summary is. . . The legend's a lot more interesting than the reality. That's usually true.

Yeah, stupid, vain, and desperate for attention makes a body an easy mark.

He gave as good as he got!

Yep, the legendary "business acumen." Back in 2016, Forbes pointed out that his fortune was about what he would have had if he'd just handed the money he got from Daddy to a competent broker and told the broker to put together a medium-conservative portfolio.* * "Conservative" here meaning...