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An obsessive Arsenal fan made his girlfriend sit a test quizzing her about his favourite football club. Marking her answers with red pen, she scored an impressive 43.5 out of 50, to which he commented, 'Well done Saskia! As a result, I will not be dumping you! (Lucky you)'. Saskia posted...

The white-haters definitely don't like it up 'em. Does anyone serious reckon they'd complain had a black person said: "That's because black people are superior?" Therein lie the double standards.

That's because whites are superior, of course.

No. I'm human's milk intolerant, just like you.

No, dear. It's a rather long-winded way of saying "No. I am disgusted at the thought of drinking human milk. So that makes me exactly the same as you, Blackleaf, despite my initial rant."

So that means "No. I am disgusted at the thought of drinking human milk."

Are you having any?

Bull****. As for your breast milk, it disgusts me. The thought of it makes me quite ill. Why you sell such stuff is beyond me.

Archaeologists have uncovered a ritual burial of 2,000-year-old human skulls - sparking the theory they could be the remains of Boudicca's rebels - as the London Crossrail excavations continue. The latest discovery of cremated human bones packed neatly into a cooking pot and set off at...

No, not Ming Campbell, who's so old he served as an MP in the Rump Parliament. A 4,000-year-old tree thought to be Britain's oldest living thing (although the Scots will say that the Fortingall Yew, which many believe to be 5,000 years old - although that is disputed - is the oldest living...

It may look like a misshapen disk of metal, but this coin is one of the oldest ever to be found in Britain. The tiny copper coin, which is smaller than a penny, dates from the Iron Age almost 2,300 years ago and suggests there were links between the south west of England and the...

A remote Iron Age fort built by the Picts as a look out post on top of a 20-foot-high sea stack has been uncovered on the coast of Scotland. Archaeologists believe the stronghold, which would have been cut off from the land at high tide, may have been one of a number that lined the east...

Britpoppers Blur release their eighth studio album, "The Magic Whip", tomorrow. It is their first for 12 years. The lads have embarked on somewhat different careers in recent years. One of them is now a criminal lawyer and a Labour Party activist; one is a cheesemonger; one is an opera...

The metropolitain Left-wing elite tried for years to get rid of Clarkson from Top Gear due to the fact that they disagreed with his more Right-wing politics and his non-PC jokes (jokes which, quite frankly, attracted 300 million people around the world to the show every week). So they were...

An "anti-racism" event at Goldsmiths, University of London, has banned white people and men from attending. ‘If you’re a man and/or white PLEASE DON’T COME', a Paki name Bahar Mustafa pleaded (of course, being a white male is not very fashionable and PC these days. The people who successfully...

Top scientists start to examine fiddled global warming figures The Global Warming Policy Foundation has enlisted an international team of five distinguished scientists to carry out a full inquiry...

That's the problem with modern birds. They expect all men to treat them like princesses but think they should not show men the same respect themselves. If you want your man to treat you like a "princess" every now and then the least you can do is get in the kitchen and cook his dinner for him...

It's the hallowed turf where the modern day game of rugby was born when one of its pupils picked up a football during a game and ran with it in the early 19th century. Rugby School is known as the spiritual home of the game, with the World Cup trophy named the Webb Ellis Cup in honour...

A minute's silence will be held before all Premier and Football League matches in England later to mark the 30th anniversary of the Bradford City fire. Fifty-six fans died and 265 were injured in the blaze at Valley Parade on 11 May 1985 during a match against Lincoln City. The match had...

Britain, Australia, New Zealand and Turkey are marking the centenary of the Gallipoli campaign. The battle was fought between the British Empire and the Ottoman Empire between 25th April 1915 and 9th January 1916. The Queen took part in a two-minute silence before laying a wreath at the...