Jealousy - what do you think of it?

Twila

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Mar 26, 2003
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I honestly don't know if it's possible to prevent unwanted emotions from happening

I do, but unfortunately it leads to misery...at least this is what I've gathered from the heroin addicts I've talked to...heroin can stop any negative emotion and make you feel only bliss...while high.
 

hermanntrude

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Jun 23, 2006
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i doubt it even stops the emotion, but just cuts off any awareness of it

but then... is an emotion you're unaware of still an emotion?
 

Twila

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Mar 26, 2003
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but then... is an emotion you're unaware of still an emotion?

hmmm, maybe that needs a qualifier...as in...what sort of unawareness? I've had feelings that I couldn't identify...sort of like butterflies but for no cause...Would that count as an emotion I was unaware of?
 

hermanntrude

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Jun 23, 2006
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I think this is one of the places where some people can't communicate what they mean to other people.

I don't think I've ever had an emotion I couldn't identify. My wife gets the same thing and i usually turn myself intellectually inside-out trying to figure out how that could happen. I say, though that if you're guilty about something (for instance), there's no way you can NOT be guilty about it, without confronting the source, although it's probably possible not to FEEL guilty, at least temporarily.
 

karrie

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Jan 6, 2007
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hmmm, maybe that needs a qualifier...as in...what sort of unawareness? I've had feelings that I couldn't identify...sort of like butterflies but for no cause...Would that count as an emotion I was unaware of?

that sounds like good old anxiety... that nagging little suspicion of emotion in the back of your gut. I think it's one of the few that is very easy to be largely unaware of. Depression is another emotion that seems to be able to evade our notice for a long while. And would paranoia count as an emotion? Because I know quite a few women who get massively paranoid roughly once a month, and never realize until after they've picked a fight, that it was just paranoia working, that there was no real reason to be upset.
 

Twila

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Mar 26, 2003
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Because I know quite a few women who get massively paranoid roughly once a month, and never realize until after they've picked a fight, that it was just paranoia working, that there was no real reason to be upset.

hmmm, I wonder if I fall victim to this? I'm extremely suspicious of people. More so at certain times then others. But I always figure it had to do with the fact that I have an excellent memory and most people forget what they've said half the time or they use incorrect wording and I'm always trying to figure out if it's because they're lying to me or just being lazy. But maybe it has to do with PMS
 

karrie

OogedyBoogedy
Jan 6, 2007
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hmmm, I wonder if I fall victim to this? I'm extremely suspicious of people. More so at certain times then others. But I always figure it had to do with the fact that I have an excellent memory and most people forget what they've said half the time or they use incorrect wording and I'm always trying to figure out if it's because they're lying to me or just being lazy. But maybe it has to do with PMS

I'd guess that if you start plotting it, you'd see there's a trend. :smile: I've had to clue friends in before as to what was going on with them. Mind you, I can't seem to get them to clue in that you need to sit on all the complaints and anger. Wait it out the week and see if it's still important once the hormone surge has died down. It's typically not. I find it usually becomes clear it was all paranoia fueled once my brain is on the straight and narrow again. lol.
 

eh1eh

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Aug 31, 2006
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Under a Lone Palm
hmmm, I wonder if I fall victim to this? I'm extremely suspicious of people. More so at certain times then others. But I always figure it had to do with the fact that I have an excellent memory and most people forget what they've said half the time or they use incorrect wording and I'm always trying to figure out if it's because they're lying to me or just being lazy. But maybe it has to do with PMS


LOL, LOL. More than likey they are lying. Go with your gut girl, PMS be damned. If it smells like poopies, well then...
 

Twila

Nanah Potato
Mar 26, 2003
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Wait it out the week and see if it's still important once the hormone surge has died down. It's typically not.
Oh I learned this part at a fairly young age. I came from a family that loved to talk, and banter and my father is sharp, quick witted, with an acid tongue when provoked, and I'm a sponge when it comes to words, ideas and facts. I also hate apologizing. So I rarely say anything spontaneously. I always wait to speak until I'm calm, collected and I know it's a real emotion not a reaction or pms emotion.
 

goat

Time Out
Mar 8, 2007
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I honestly don't know if it's possible to prevent unwanted emotions from happening
It is not.

It is however, recommended that you recognize these emotions when they arrive, as they will.

Subsequently, you must acknowledge their existance thereby making them just that much easier to deal with.

Jealousy is a terrible thing
 

Vereya

Council Member
Apr 20, 2006
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Tula
i doubt it even stops the emotion, but just cuts off any awareness of it

but then... is an emotion you're unaware of still an emotion?

An excellent point. I personally believe that it is only the emotions that you are aware of that really matter. (I hope that sentence is grammatically correct. Still sleeping yet... :-?) Emotions we are not aware of don't seem to exist for us, thus they can't exert any influence over our life.
 

Vereya

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Apr 20, 2006
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Tula
Jealousy is not a natural emotion, it is something you learned. You most likely started off with complete trust, but somewhere along the way that trust was betrayed. At that point you had two choices: bail or put up. If you chose to put up, then from that point on you will have experienced insecurities in the relationship, including jealousy. Once you've learned to feel insecure or jealous, you run the risk of carrying it from relationship to relationship ... depending on whether you had the feelings for 1 month or 10 years. That's my 2C

That is a very interesting approach, Ariadne. Do you mean, that people are not naturally jealous or non-jealous, and that jealousy is a product of past unpleasant experiences? Thinking of it, I come to agree with you... Plus, like Twila, I am suspicious of people, and so there you go...