For 72 years, our not-for-profit Council based in New York has been giving out these honors to such deserving recipients as John Edwards, Bing Crosby, Larry King, Joe Frazier, Ted Kennedy, John F. Kennedy and Babe Ruth because they were all “contemporary lifestyle leaders of our culture”.
Former president Clinton obviously follows in the tradition of these worthy past recipients, particularly John Edwards, Ted Kennedy, John F. Kennedy and Babe Ruth who were all well known for constant womanizing, sex scandals and living large.
He doesn’t measure up to Bing Crosby when it comes to being a mean, cold, viscous, child-abusing drunk or to Larry King for being a much married father who believes it is fine to sire children who will be lucky to reach their teens while he is still alive nor to Joe Frazier in the “teach your children both male and female how to get their faces fractured, their brains scrambled and then wind up broke” department but then nobody is perfect.
Certainly Bill Clinton is a lifestyle leader of our contemporary culture, a role model for fathers who want to be able to screw around on their wives with impunity, have just one child underfoot, profit from a marriage of convenience and do their own thing while not getting bogged down by family obligations.
Some might say that Slick Willie is an inappropriate choice as a Father of The Year because his behavioural and lifestyle choices may not be good ones to emulate such as his decision to have just one child which will result in the end of the human race if we generally follow his example.
To these sceptics I say first that both Charlie Sheen and Woody Allen were unavailable for the presentation ceremonies in New York in June and we had to choose somebody.
As well, if the Nobel Peace Prize committee can choose Barack Obama as its award recipient when he had yet to do a single thing for peace except to be a community organizer in Chicago which is a war zone where more Americans were killed last year than in Afghanistan, then surely we can choose Slick Willie Slime Bucket as our honoree.
In addition, may I point out that Zipper Billy Clinton is a Democrat and our New York based committee is composed of Democrats and we Democrats have a long and proud history of awarding prizes to other Democrats who don’t really deserve them?
And in closing, it’s not so much about choosing model fathers as it is about choosing model fund raisers who can attract really large donations to our council.
Why else do you think we would have chosen Hulk Hogan a few years ago when he was riding high?
The award ceremony takes place in New York City on the Tuesday before father’s Day. Don’t you dare miss it. But if you must miss it, at least send cash.
NOTE FOR NON-DEMOCRATS: INCREDIBLY, THIS COUNCIL AND THIS AWARD EXISTS AND MOST INCREDIBLY OF ALL, CLINTON AND THE OTHERS CITED WERE INDEED CHOSEN AS FATHERS OF THE YEAR