The Top 10 Things To Avoid Saying In The Presidential Debates

TeddyBallgame

Time Out
Mar 30, 2012
522
0
16
10/ I promise to visit all 57 states during my campaign.



9/ If I don’t turn this economy around in my first term, I don’t deserve a second term.



8/ You didn’t build that podium! That podium was built by publicsector monopoly union labour and took 12 guys, 2 million bucks and four weeks to build.



7/ If we just pass this 800 billion stimulus package, we’ll keep unemployment under 8% and under 6% by the time my first term is up.



6/ I promise to cutthe deficit in half by the end of my first term.



5/ The private sector is doing fine, especially those guys in the private sector who bundle big bucks for for my campaign and score hundredsof millions of dollars in taxpayer loans and grants.



4/ Hey, just becausemy people called you a murderer and a felon and a tax cheat and a cold heartedSOB is no reason to get snippy with me.



3/ I’ve pretty much wiped out Al Qaeda and ended all the unpleasantness in the Middle East.



2/ I don’t recall theprecise amount of the debt when I took power in 2009 and the debt isn’t important anyway in the short term. If you want somebody who keeps an eye on and understands crap like that, vote for the other guy. Me, I’d rather work on my short game and party with Bionce.



1/ You need to know that you can’t buy me off but you can certainly rent me for another four years. That other guy is so bloody rich he doesn’thave to pimp himself out to anybody. So vote for me because I’ll say whatever you want me to say and appear to be whatever it is that you want me to be.