- Whichever of you guys suggested that I take time from my busy schedule of TV talk show appearances and fund raising with the Hollywood set and campaign speeches in the swing states to bother meeting with Netanyahu of Israel and Moresi of Egypt and other world leaders attending the UN opening session this week, it’s a really dumb idea and I’m not going to do it.
- Since I don’t attend most of the daily intelligence briefings and never meet with my economic advisory council or my cabinet or the congress I wouldn’t know what to say to these world leaders and might come off looking stupid or committing the US to something stupid.
- Actually it’s not so much that I don’t have time to meet the other leaders but more that I don’t have the time to cram for these meetings and am too lazy to do it even if I did have the time. I really don’t like studying and never did which is why my almost all of my grades were so crappy and why they are all under seal as state secrets.
- Even worse, if I were to meet with these guys then in an election year diplomatic protocol would require them to also meet with the leader of the opposition, with Mitt, and it should be obvious to you that the contrast between Mitt and me would be extremely embarrassing for us.
- Let Hillary meet with the most important world leaders at the UN since she seems to like studying and cramming and has a lot more knowledge and experience and credibility in international affairs than I do and always was the better qualified person to represent the nation in international relations.
- And let me do what I am good at which is to flash that **** eating grin whenever the cameras are on, to read other people’s speeches off the teleprompter very capably, and to do cool pop culture and just folks interviews in response to softball questions from worshipful media sycophants on the kind of shallow, plastic programs that the typical moronic voter seems to watch.
- Always remember that while Mitt may have the Mormons, I have the morons and I intend to keep them and meeting world leaders means nothing to them but appearing on The View and Letterman and on morning radio with the rapper The Pimp with The Limp means a lot to them because then the poor dumb bastards actually assume I’m just like they are.
- Besides, whether I lose in November or finish a second term in 2017, I will eventually be looking for work after the White House. And the only job for which I am well qualified is as a TV talk show host so every time I appear on one of these programs I gain experience and exposure and a leg up for the next phase of my career.
- Are we all clear on this?
- OK, now somebody get Bionce on the phone and set up another $40,000 a plate fundraiser because we need not just a worshipful press dedicated to surpressing and downplaying any hard news about my spectacular failures on the economy, the debt, the wars, the Middle East, the unity of the country, the integrity of the borders and the ballots and so on but also every dollar we can weasel out of the gullible Hollywood lefties to run grotesque but effective fabrications falsely libelling and slandering Romney, Ryan and the Republicans.
- Since I don’t attend most of the daily intelligence briefings and never meet with my economic advisory council or my cabinet or the congress I wouldn’t know what to say to these world leaders and might come off looking stupid or committing the US to something stupid.
- Actually it’s not so much that I don’t have time to meet the other leaders but more that I don’t have the time to cram for these meetings and am too lazy to do it even if I did have the time. I really don’t like studying and never did which is why my almost all of my grades were so crappy and why they are all under seal as state secrets.
- Even worse, if I were to meet with these guys then in an election year diplomatic protocol would require them to also meet with the leader of the opposition, with Mitt, and it should be obvious to you that the contrast between Mitt and me would be extremely embarrassing for us.
- Let Hillary meet with the most important world leaders at the UN since she seems to like studying and cramming and has a lot more knowledge and experience and credibility in international affairs than I do and always was the better qualified person to represent the nation in international relations.
- And let me do what I am good at which is to flash that **** eating grin whenever the cameras are on, to read other people’s speeches off the teleprompter very capably, and to do cool pop culture and just folks interviews in response to softball questions from worshipful media sycophants on the kind of shallow, plastic programs that the typical moronic voter seems to watch.
- Always remember that while Mitt may have the Mormons, I have the morons and I intend to keep them and meeting world leaders means nothing to them but appearing on The View and Letterman and on morning radio with the rapper The Pimp with The Limp means a lot to them because then the poor dumb bastards actually assume I’m just like they are.
- Besides, whether I lose in November or finish a second term in 2017, I will eventually be looking for work after the White House. And the only job for which I am well qualified is as a TV talk show host so every time I appear on one of these programs I gain experience and exposure and a leg up for the next phase of my career.
- Are we all clear on this?
- OK, now somebody get Bionce on the phone and set up another $40,000 a plate fundraiser because we need not just a worshipful press dedicated to surpressing and downplaying any hard news about my spectacular failures on the economy, the debt, the wars, the Middle East, the unity of the country, the integrity of the borders and the ballots and so on but also every dollar we can weasel out of the gullible Hollywood lefties to run grotesque but effective fabrications falsely libelling and slandering Romney, Ryan and the Republicans.