Handbags at dawn for the All Blacks

Blackleaf

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Oct 9, 2004
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The New Zealand rugby union team, nicknamed "the All Blacks" because of the colour of their kits, have had the mickey taken out of them by the Australians ahead of the tri-nation series involving New Zealand, Australia and South Africa. A digitally enhanced photo produced by the Aussies shows their players with ladies' handbags. England are the World Champions, but New Zealand are probably the best team in the world at the moment, so the Aussies need all the help they can get.
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Handbags at dawn for the All Blacks
By RICHARD SHEARS, Daily Mail

6th July 2006




Joke: The digitally enhanced photo of the All Blacks with handbags as they peform the Haka, a Maori war dance that the New Zealand team always performs just before a game.



Now girls, let's have a little less aggression. Don't poke those tongues out like that and for goodness sake stop those handbags swinging about. Somebody might get hurt.

But wait...isn't that the famous, fearsome, All Black rugby team [[rugby's equivalent of Brazil]]? That tongue wagging has always been a part of their pre-match war dance - the Haka - along with those flexing muscles and rolling eyes. But the handbags?

These images, digitally enhanced it must be made clear, could result in blood on the rugby field on Saturday when Australia meets New Zealand in the first game of the tri-nation series.

They are part of a, well, tongue in cheek, advertisement being shown on Australia's Channel Seven free-to-air network to give the national team, the Wallabies, a rousing send off.

'Australia is about to play the toughest team on the planet, the fearsome All Blacks,' says the advert's voice-over, before the scene cuts away to the All Blacks swinging their multi-coloured handbags and shoulder-bags, decorated in one case with pink hearts.


The New Zealanders are furious.

'I know it's a p--s take, but it's disrespectful and insensitive to Maori culture,' said the All Blacks' assistant coach Wayne Smith.

But hold on a moment, didn't the New Zealanders start the whole ball rolling with a surprising incident in a Christchurch bar earlier this year?

Captain Tana Umaga and player Chris Masoe were having a few in the Jolly Poacher tavern in the early morning hours after their Wellington Hurricanes team lost the Super 14 rugby final to the Christchurch Crusaders the previous evening when a strange event occurred.



According to reports, Masoe punched another drinker after tripping over his leg.

Upset at his team-mate's behaviour, Umaga picked up a woman's handbag and bashed Masoe on the head with it.

'When that happened, Masoe burst into tears and created a bit of a scene at the bar,' a witness said.

The players were then ejected by...a female bouncer.

The 22-year-old owner of the handbag told local journalists: 'I mean, a handbag of all things!' It's an incident that the Wallabies' promoters decided was just the ticket to give their opponents the boot before the tri-nations series has even started.

But an amused Australian coach, John Connolly, is determined to keep his distance. 'Mate, I haven't seen the adverts yet,' he said, failing to stifle a laugh.

And the Australian Rugby Union said it had no control over, or input into, the promotions for the Test match which, ironically, kicks off in Christchurch where an All Black first laid his hands on a handbag.

The slightly battered handbag was later put up for auction on the internet and sold for 7,500 pounds.

Meanwhile tomorrow fans of both teams - as well as supporters of South Africa who are involved in the tri-nation series - will be wondering if it will be handbags at 10 paces...


dailymail.co.uk
 

Blackleaf

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The New Zealanders got revenge by beating Australia in the opening Tri-Nations game -


All Blacks cruise to Tri-Nations win
8th July 2006




Easy win: The All Blacks got their Tri-Nations campaign off to a good start with a comprehensive victory over Australia


New Zealand score a try (or "touchdown" as the Americans call it in Gridiron, the cissy version of rugby.).



New Zealand 32 - 12 Australia


New Zealand got their Tri-Nations campaign off to a positive start by cruising to victory over Australia in the opening game of this year's series in Christchurch.

The All Blacks' forward power was too much for Australia, who managed to take an early lead through a converted try by Lote Tuqiri.

Two tries in five minutes late in the first half from hooker Keven Mealamu helped the hosts to a half-time lead of 14-7.

Richie McCaw's try looked to have given the All Blacks a winning advantage, and although Scott Fava touched down to cut the deficit soon after, Australia's hopes were long gone by the time Isaia Toeava raced clear to seal a comfortable win late on.

The decisive period came late in the first half when Wallabies number eight Rocky Elsom was sin-binned for repeatedly failing to roll away from the tackle.

That denied Australia the chance to build on their early breakthrough, and the All Blacks took full advantage with Mealamu's unlikely double.

Tuqiri had opened the scoring in dynamic fashion in the 15th minute after some great lead-up work by full-back Chris Latham.

Latham fielded a kick inside his own 22 - and as the defence approached, he chipped over the top and regathered before passing to Mat Rogers who looked to get on the outside of Daniel Carter.

As the pair ran to the sideline, Rogers threw an overhead pass back to Tuqiri who dived over for his 23rd Test try.

New Zealand fly-half Carter had a second unsuccessful penalty attempt in the 25th minute, but the All Blacks were handed the initiative soon afterwards when Elsom was yellow-carded.

With a man advantage, the All Blacks spread the ball from wing to wing - and despite repelling a number of raids, Australia eventually crumbled when Mealamu dived on a loose ball from a line-out and scrambled over for a try.

Noses in front

Carter kicked the conversion to level the scores at 7-7, and the home team got their noses in front when Mealamu crashed over for his second try from a ruck close to the Australian line.

New Zealand went further ahead seven minutes into the second half when Carter slotted an easy penalty - and from the kick-off, Aaron Mauger made a break and chipped a kick deep into Australian territory.

Stephen Larkham fielded the ball on his line but fumbled in a challenge by Joe Rokocoko before being swarmed upon by the New Zealand loose forwards - and from the ruck, the TV match official correctly declared Richie McCaw had forced a try.

Replays showed that the ball had become lodged between Larkham's legs, and McCaw's was the only hand on the ball.

Australia hit back straightaway with a try by Fava just 60 seconds after the replacement back-rower came on for his Test debut.

The Wallabies regathered from the kick-off - and good forward play took them to the All Blacks' line, where following repeated rucks Fava spotted a gap to dive over.

Outside centre Stirling Mortlock missed the conversion to leave the score 24-12, so that when Carter kicked another penalty in the 58th minute the All Blacks enjoyed a 15-point lead going into the final quarter of the game.

With four minutes remaining, Carter charged down Larkham's chip kick and passed to replacement back Toeava for a clear run to the line.

Australia will look to draw level next week in Brisbane when the trans-Tasman rivals face each other again in the second match of the series.


Lote Tuqiri dives over to score Australia's first try, with New Zealand fly-half Daniel Carter helpless to prevent him
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All Blacks wing Rico Gear is bundled into touch by Australia full-back Chris Latham as the hosts threaten to hit back
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Barely a minute later Keven Mealamu dives on a loose ball to score, and the rampaging hooker quickly adds a second try
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Wallabies lock Nathan Sharpe cannot prevent full-back Leon MacDonald running clear as the All Blacks take command
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Australia try to hit back through Lote Tuqiri, but All Blacks captain Richie McCaw makes a crucial tackle
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The All Blacks supporters are in no doubt as to which way they think the game is going for the Wallabies
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Despite conceding a try to Scott Fava, the New Zealand defence largely resists Australia's attempt to fight back
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The All Blacks seal a comprehensive victory when replacement centre Isaia Toeava races clear to score late on
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No silly helmets covering the whole head. No giant shoulders pads so that the players look stupid. This is a man's game.

dailymail.co.uk
 

glossprincess

Electoral Member
Feb 5, 2006
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I agree, rugby is a real man's game and some of the injuries are nasty!!

Shame we lost but the All Blacks are a great team! I cant believe their getting their knickers in a knot over something so funny!! The Kiwis usually have a good sense of humour like we do! Ah well...
 

Nuggler

kind and gentle
Feb 27, 2006
11,596
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Backwater, Ontario.
8O No helmets. NO padding of any kind. Wear a jock?

jeeezus. That's scary. How many concussions per season per team?

Mighty tough hombres.

Hope they make a LOT of money.

Ouch :!: :!:

:idea:
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
21,155
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Why don't they play in the NFL and make some real money?
 

gopher

Hall of Fame Member
Jun 26, 2005
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The Kiwis usually have a good sense of humour like we do! Ah well...



I posted that photo in another web site and some folks got so angry that it was deleted!

Ah well ...
 

gopher

Hall of Fame Member
Jun 26, 2005
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Re: RE: Handbags at dawn for the All Blacks

Kreskin said:
Why don't they play in the NFL and make some real money?


They sure do. The salary cap is at about $ 93 million for team lineups that have about 53 players. That's nearly $ 2 million per player! All that money in a game that the NFL admits averages only 10 minutes of action per match! And unlike rubgy where a player plays both offense and defense, in American football they play only one way. This means that a player makes millions for playing only 5 minutes per week!!!
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
21,155
149
63
Re: RE: Handbags at dawn for the All Blacks

gopher said:
Kreskin said:
Why don't they play in the NFL and make some real money?


They sure do. The salary cap is at about $ 93 million for team lineups that have about 53 players. That's nearly $ 2 million per player! All that money in a game that the NFL admits averages only 10 minutes of action per match! And unlike rubgy where a player plays both offense and defense, in American football they play only one way. This means that a player makes millions for playing only 5 minutes per week!!!

All Blacks asked to take a cut

Sunday July 9, 2006
By Gregor Paul.


A number of All Blacks have come under pressure to take pay cuts next year if they go to the World Cup.

The Herald on Sunday understands that some provincial bosses have asked players in the All Black frame to accept pay deals significantly less than the terms of their existing contracts.

Rob Brady, whose company sixfoot2 manages a number of New Zealand's leading players, says: "We are aware of a couple of instances where players have been asked to accept reduced terms. We have said to the unions that we understand their situation and we sympathise with them but that they should take the issue up with the New Zealand Rugby Union."

The move to cut costs is being driven because the World Cup will run across next year's Air New Zealand Cup, preventing any All Black from playing for their union.

Provincial executives have known for years that the 30 All Blacks chosen for the World Cup would be unavailable in 2007 and agreed pay deals with test stars that factored in their non-involvement next year.

But now there is a salary cap in place, some unions are trying to free up cash to pay others who will play a full part in next year's competition.

New Zealand's top players earn from $120,000 to $280,000 for playing in the Super 14. They also earn $7500 for every week they are assembled with the All Blacks. The NZRU meets Super 14 and test payments but the unions also separately contract players and most All Blacks earn between $80,000 and $130,000 a season from their provincial deal.

Unions are now restricted to spending $2 million on wages and Auckland, Canterbury, Wellington and Waikato are all very close to the cap. Next year, they will have to contract extra players to cover the loss of World Cup All Blacks but will still be burdened with payments to test stars.

While All Blacks come with a moderate discount on the balance sheet, they still make a reasonable dent, hence the reason some are being asked to give up thousands of dollars.

The problem for the unions is that they have to contract and pay test players who will barely appear in provincial colours but who will make a significant contribution in Super 14. Waikato chief executive Gary Dawson says: "We have been aware that we may not have certain players available to us until the latter rounds of the Air New Zealand Cup in a normal year and that in a World Cup year they will probably not be available at all."

"The reality is, though, that we need to protect these players for the Chiefs franchise. In an ideal world we would have liked a little bit of relief but we do get a salary cap credit for All Blacks and there is an opportunity for younger players to get a chance."

Those younger players, however, might not be getting remuneration packages that reflect their true value.

Brady says: "The player collective has been great for the top 40 or 50 players in the country. But the guys who are missing out are those at the next level who have played three or four years of Super 14 and five or six years of NPC."

The worry for the unions and NZRU is that promising players who make a valuable contribution in the Air New Zealand Cup and Super 14 will head overseas for better pay.

It is not known whether the recently signed player collective agreement ever discussed the prospect of the NZRU paying a percentage of every All Black's provincial salary.

Whether it was or wasn't, it is definitely an idea most provincial bosses now want to see discussed in some detail.

I think there is more money to made with the pansies in the NFL.
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
21,155
149
63
Just think of all the handbags they could buy playing for San Francisco.
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
21,155
149
63
If those wimps could play in the NFL they would. *Insert ducking smiley here*