The Second Arrow

The Buddhists say that two arrows always fly towards you.

Whether they hit or not is another matter.

The first arrow is the bad thing that happens to you.

The second arrow...

You know what it is.

It is what you do to yourself after the bad thing that happens to you.

Right! So stop feeling sorry for yourself and do it right next time.

You must be the 3rd arrow.

But what if both arrows are bad things???

But what if both arrows are bad things??? ------csanopal
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Then my little grasshopper, they are.

Bad thing happens.
What you do about it happens next.

And if what you do about it becomes or is a bad thing, then this second arrow
is a gift that keeps on giving.

This metaphow with two arrows is a very good description of cause-and-effect relation that rules this world. When you do something, you create a cause. And the effect depends on the kind of cause that you have created. If the cause is good, you'll get excellent effect. If the cause is not so good, consequently, the effect is not so pleasant, too.

When I came across the Buddhists two arrows it reminded me of my
soap box preaching to my daughter that, it's not so much what you did, which was wrong,
but more about what you do about it.

But since I was always angry and preachy when I said it, the medium overcame the
message and I'm not sure she cared. My daughter was always much more fatalistic about it.
She figured she screwed up. Everyone's mad. You can't undo it. Nothing will change it.
Move on.

That second arrow kept on giving.

there is a psychological theory which states that people can be divided into those that, when something bad happens (of their own volition), pick themselves up, remind themselves not to let it happen again, and carry on, and those that chastise themselves and give themselves this second arrow. It is also stated that people from the second category are much more likely to suffer from depression.

The reference for this post is unavailable as the source is my wife's psych degree.

........... and the people in the third category (like me) have memories such that they keep having to pick themselves up because the reminder mechanism dint work.