How I became Ohkwai

CDNBear

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I was all of 13 as I stood, looking out over the vast beauty of the valley. The sun was low on the horizon, but its warmth still carest my cheeks, like the hand of the Great Spirit.

I was tired from my trek up the escartment and paused only to rest as I scanned the valley with weiry eyes. I know not of what I sot to to see, only that I felt the need to see it.

As I looked on into the valley, I felt as though I was not alone. As I turned to see if I was correct, I felt the heat of the sun run down my back, as though I was sitting, with my back to the Fire. The sounds of the birds, still rang through the trees, as the wind rustled the needles of the great pines.

I felt strangely uneasy, as my eyes dug deep it to the wriggling leaves and needles of the trees and bushes, to see if my senses betrayed me.

Nothing, just the winds playing trickes on my. The Raven must be near, teasing me as he has done in the past.

As I turned, the feeling rushed through me as strong as a wind of the big water. I was not alone. Something was watching me. Something was coming.

I could hear its paws hitting the ground, it's breath huffing, as it moved through the trees as if it was not there.

The forest exploded as the Bear came at me. I turned and ran as it came for me. It's breath now warming my back as the sun had.

The sounds of its paws filledme with fear and the drowned out all the voices of the forest. I could feel my own heart beat in time to his, as he grew closer and closer.

As I rounded the trail head and made my way across the narrow path at the cliffs, I suddenly felt at ease, but for a moment. The sun dimmed, the sound of my heart faded, the pounding of his paws all, but dissappeared. A sudden flash of darkness and suddenly, it all flooded back. The voices in the forest, the light of the sun and two heart beats, pounding as if one. My eyes focused and I saw myself, from above. I was no longer me, I watched for, but a moment as a witness, as the Bear chased me down. I saw the fear on my face, the muscles flex and release as I lept from foot to foot, to out run my destroyer. But "I" felt no fear, up here, looking down on what would be my death.

A rush and a sense of falling filled my chest. Making me gasp as my spirit plunged in to the Bear. Now I could see me again from the Bears eyes. I could feel his heart in mine, I felt the wind brush against my fur, I could feel the ground tremble at the touch of my paws.

I chased myself, I chased myself for a cause I did not know. For reasons lost on the mind of a mere man. Although I was the Bear, I could not stop myself from the destruction I was about to do to myself. The fear grew in me again.

In a quick flash, I was in my own body again. Running. The burning in my chest and muscles, made my tears fall with ease. The pain felt as though I had been cut by a thousand knives. But I could not, would not stop. I would die.

I ran and stumbled as I tired, never giving up. The call of an Eagle turned my head towords the abyss at my side, that were the cliffs I once climbed as a young child. I saw her turn and show me her wings in full. I would not die this way, not running.

I turned at the fork in the path that lead to the shear cliffs, where we got our flint. Here I would make my stand.

No energy to run, it was time to fight my demon. I lead him to the place I would either die or take his life.

I stopped and turned in one motion and pulled my knife from its sheath, that hung around my neck, and drew my club, from my belt. I raised my head and roared at the Bear as it came to finish me.

Like the spirits of the dead it rose infront of me and opened its mouth, the roar moved me and shook me as I stood ready to face my fate.

Its mouth grew bigger as it rose, seemingly leaving the ground. It did not pause, it did not fear me. I felt the heat in its jaws as its mouth came over me swallowing me in one swoop.

For, but a moment, my life ended. I felt nothing, heard nothing, could see nothing, but I knew I was alive.

I began to blink, the world fuzzy, as if I had just woken up from a long nap. I blinked again and again, until the haze was removed from eyes. I could see the forest again. But it was different.

I could hear the trees talking to each other, they were laughing, telling stories. Off in the distance, I could hear the stream I loved to fish in giggling, as the Trout tickled her banks. The songs the birds sang, made sweet music in my ears. The valley was alive. I could see what I came to see, I knew now, what it was I had sot after. Life.

I began to cry, as it flooded my heart with great joy. I reached to wipe the tears from my face, only to see no hand, but in its place, a paw. I felt no fear, no confusion.

I found who I was, who I was ment to be. I am Ohkwai, of the Onyata'a:ka. Keepers of the Council Fire, People of the Hills.
 
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selfactivated

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[SIZE=+1]The Bear[/SIZE]
There are several types of bear including the Grizzly, Brown, Black, Kodiak and Polar. Bear has played a prominent role in many Native cultures. They are considered to be a highly desired ally and spirit helper because of its fearless power. It is believed that the power of Great spirit lives through this animal. Because of this a constellation was named for it, Ursus Major, The Great Bear. Some tribes prayed for medicine dreams that would show bear to be their guide. Others felt the bear was too powerful a medicine and would only hunt them if it meant not starving.
In some traditions bear is the spirit keeper of the West. The place of maturity and good harvest. The gifts that bear offers to those with this totem are strength, introspection and knowledge.
Unlike other animals who are active during a specific time of day, the bear is active both day and night. This symbolizes its connection with solar energy, that of strength and power, and lunar energy, that of intuition. It enhances and teaches those with this totem how to develop both within themselves.
Bear can sometimes be too quick to anger and too sure of it own power. While they have little to fear they can forget caution, which is an important trait to have. If bear is your totem be careful that you don't throw your caution to the wind. Being unaware of your limits in certain settings can be disastrous.
Many years ago while hiking in the woods I was surprised to meet a black bear face to face. As it stood before me the power that the bear held intimidated me. Fears surfaced and I was sure I was going to die. I rose my arms high over my head appearing larger than I was. Because I created an illusion of size and strength my life was spared. The bear watched, dropped down onto all four legs and slowly moved away. Bear taught me the importance of appearance by gathering my inner strength and presenting it outwardly.
During the winter bears spend several months sleeping in dens without eating, a condition that resembles hibernation. The more fat their bodies have stored up the deeper the sleep. Bears live on this fat throughout the winter. It teaches us how to go within and find the resources necessary for our personal survival.
The bear holds the teachings of introspection. When it shows up in your life pay attention to how you think, act and interact. Use discernment in all that you do and discriminate with care. Bear teaches you how to make choices from a position of power.
 

CDNBear

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Yes, a spirit quest, in the traditional methods.

Sleep deprivation, fasting and physical exursion, a smoke of a mix of Wild Tobaco, Bearberry, Wintergreen, Devils trumpet.

It was as real as the snow in my front yard, an experience I have since tried to duplicate, to no avail. There are no halusinagenics, apart from peyote, but even that didn't work as well, that can come even the slightest bit close to this type of vision.
 
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El Barto

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Feb 11, 2007
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I had anexperience but not like yours. I started to get into alot of spiritual things mostly reading, but mainly meditation. I would light candles lay in bed and do relaxation exercise. After many tries something happened I woke up grasping the sides of my matress as if the bed was opening up and falling through the otherside . I was scared or shocked. The next night samething but it was different. For what seems both a flash of time and an eternity all at once. I was as if before time began before the big bang. No sensation of space or history or conscience . Just totally nothing...It was more than words can express , even the memory of it is deluded.
That was a long time ago at a dark time of my life.
For a long story short I was initiated as a shaman and saw my indian guide only to send him away without knowing what was going on. It was as if it closed doors for me. I was capable of doing so much more before. Just don't know what to do.
 

tanakar

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Feb 14, 2007
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Fasting and sleep depravation are enough for me. 5 Days in the Backwoods produced many visions that have been beautiful guides.

Do you think these visions might have been self-produced? How would you know if they were legit or just the result of no food and sleep for a long period of time?
 

CDNBear

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Do you think these visions might have been self-produced? How would you know if they were legit or just the result of no food and sleep for a long period of time?
Ahh, now you're asking some deep questions...

The trials one goes through to get to the point of a vision, really break down your consciecness. They are ment to do so, they are ment to remove the trappings of life and break down your consciecness, so that what you experience is not at your control. The ensuing vision, is pretty much beyond your control. I can control and direct my dreams, I know I am dreaming when I sleep, so therefore I direct or program them. This journey on the other hand was quite real. I felt every whisper of the breeze, I heard every sound, it was infact as a real as I stated above.

I also had no preconceived notions of who or what I wanted my Totem to be, well OK that's not true, I really want it to be a cool wolf or a Hawk, but in the end I was Bear.
 

selfactivated

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Do you think these visions might have been self-produced? How would you know if they were legit or just the result of no food and sleep for a long period of time?

Personally I know the difference be hallucination and vision. Visions come from the Silent observer the Inner Guiede the Goddess within. I know them to be true because I feel in my gut they are. They never give me words that hurt only to guide and its my choice to listen. Im in control of my own life.
 

canadarocks

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Dec 26, 2006
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Ahh, now you're asking some deep questions...

The trials one goes through to get to the point of a vision, really break down your consciecness. They are ment to do so, they are ment to remove the trappings of life and break down your consciecness, so that what you experience is not at your control. The ensuing vision, is pretty much beyond your control. I can control and direct my dreams, I know I am dreaming when I sleep, so therefore I direct or program them. This journey on the other hand was quite real. I felt every whisper of the breeze, I heard every sound, it was infact as a real as I stated above.

I also had no preconceived notions of who or what I wanted my Totem to be, well OK that's not true, I really want it to be a cool wolf or a Hawk, but in the end I was Bear.

Interesting. I read a book once, can't remember by whom, but it was about this Catholic or Orthodox monk who basically wandered into a desert for 40 days. He was trying to emulate the 40 days of Jesus thing. Anyway, he wrote of the visions and experiences he had whilst doing this. So, my further question would be, do you think this experience arrives from pre-conceived spiritual notions? See, this guy being Catholic described experiences that fit Catholic stuff. Know what I mean? He says the visions were pure, but I'm thinking, well, he went into already with a faith. Would this match the same way with Native beliefs?

Understand I'm asking out of curiousity only, not trying to devalue your experiences.
 

El Barto

les fesses a l'aire
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Interesting. I read a book once, can't remember by whom, but it was about this Catholic or Orthodox monk who basically wandered into a desert for 40 days. He was trying to emulate the 40 days of Jesus thing. Anyway, he wrote of the visions and experiences he had whilst doing this. So, my further question would be, do you think this experience arrives from pre-conceived spiritual notions? See, this guy being Catholic described experiences that fit Catholic stuff. Know what I mean? He says the visions were pure, but I'm thinking, well, he went into already with a faith. Would this match the same way with Native beliefs?

Understand I'm asking out of curiousity only, not trying to devalue your experiences.
I'm not much for the christian faith but what you say is intrigueing do you have any reference to his visions?
 

selfactivated

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Interesting. I read a book once, can't remember by whom, but it was about this Catholic or Orthodox monk who basically wandered into a desert for 40 days. He was trying to emulate the 40 days of Jesus thing. Anyway, he wrote of the visions and experiences he had whilst doing this. So, my further question would be, do you think this experience arrives from pre-conceived spiritual notions? See, this guy being Catholic described experiences that fit Catholic stuff. Know what I mean? He says the visions were pure, but I'm thinking, well, he went into already with a faith. Would this match the same way with Native beliefs?

Understand I'm asking out of curiousity only, not trying to devalue your experiences.

Im not Bear but in my oppinion Guides show in forms that we understand. Mine are usually animals or one of the three forms of the Goddess. BUT one thime it was just a presence no form at all. That was intence.
 

El Barto

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Then it may have revelance . Those who came back from dying on the operating table came back with discription that did reflect they're faith. Would love to see those seventy virgins tho lol
 

canadarocks

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Dec 26, 2006
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I'm not much for the christian faith but what you say is intrigueing do you have any reference to his visions?
Not off-hand, but this sort of thing is no stranger in Catholicism. Lots of stoires of Catholic visionaires and prophets. I'm not Catholic, so don't have the inner ear about these things. This book we read for aUniversity class on conciousness and altered states of reality.(years ago)

I do remember verly clearly his experiences featuring allot of contact with the Virgin Mary.
 

CDNBear

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Interesting. I read a book once, can't remember by whom, but it was about this Catholic or Orthodox monk who basically wandered into a desert for 40 days. He was trying to emulate the 40 days of Jesus thing. Anyway, he wrote of the visions and experiences he had whilst doing this. So, my further question would be, do you think this experience arrives from pre-conceived spiritual notions? See, this guy being Catholic described experiences that fit Catholic stuff. Know what I mean? He says the visions were pure, but I'm thinking, well, he went into already with a faith. Would this match the same way with Native beliefs?

Understand I'm asking out of curiousity only, not trying to devalue your experiences.
You make an excellent point. Natives, not unlike their Christian couterparts, are very spiritual, I would go so far as to say that it is quite likely that there is a coralation between belief system and vision.

It's not a stretch to concieve that at all.

I have a question for you now.

Do you feel that this in any way detracts from the purpose or beauty of a vision?
 

lieexpsr

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Feb 9, 2007
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El barto- Nobody ever came back from the dead on the operationg table. The mind is capable of producing that sort of illusion and is completely explainable by science. Sorry to have to be the one to tell you that.
 

CDNBear

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Sep 24, 2006
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I had anexperience but not like yours. I started to get into alot of spiritual things mostly reading, but mainly meditation. I would light candles lay in bed and do relaxation exercise. After many tries something happened I woke up grasping the sides of my matress as if the bed was opening up and falling through the otherside . I was scared or shocked. The next night samething but it was different. For what seems both a flash of time and an eternity all at once. I was as if before time began before the big bang. No sensation of space or history or conscience . Just totally nothing...It was more than words can express , even the memory of it is deluded.
That was a long time ago at a dark time of my life.
For a long story short I was initiated as a shaman and saw my indian guide only to send him away without knowing what was going on. It was as if it closed doors for me. I was capable of doing so much more before. Just don't know what to do.
I wanted to give this some thought, before I answered. 1) because, it is not something I belch out lightly, with regards to things spiritual, 2) I wanted to try and come up with something for you to try that may get your spirits attention again.

All is not lost.

El Barto, give me a day or two, to think it over and discuss it with self, ok? I promiss I will have something for you to try.
 

El Barto

les fesses a l'aire
Feb 11, 2007
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El barto- Nobody ever came back from the dead on the operationg table. The mind is capable of producing that sort of illusion and is completely explainable by science. Sorry to have to be the one to tell you that.
poor soul I have a freind that it happened to him twice
 

canadarocks

Electoral Member
Dec 26, 2006
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<snip> /quote]

The one thing I dislike about Canadian Content is the surprising number of rude people who seem to be on this forum. Anytime a thread i read is going on in a particular faith forum, be it Christian discussion, Paganism, or this one, someone always feels the need to come in and trash the opinions of the believers. When I read these threads, I do so knowing I am a guest. I don't follow a particular faith of any kind, but I respect people who do. So, for example, if I read a Christian thread, I don't feel the need to knock the Catholic/Christian faith.When I read a pagan thread, same thing. It's just rude, and frankly stupid. If you open one of these threads you must know the majority of people posting on them are believers.It IS NOT necessary to rush in and rudely attack their beliefs. If you think it's false, don't read it. Sorry, but this sort of thing gets on my nerves.

I was reading this Sinfulness thread this morning in the Catholic section, or at least a Catholic thread, and it seemed that for every three posts by Catholics, there was three more by people attacking the Catholic religion.
Same here, we're all having anice discussion and along comes the hero to make fun of the people's experiences. I'm sorry, I'll stop now...
 
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