Raising a Child Christian Style - "To Train Up A Child"

Praxius

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Dec 18, 2007
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Here's an interesting book on how to raise your child, starting from birth and onward, which was written by a Christian Pastor and his wife (written and published by Michael and Debi Pearl) and available for anybody to pick up. It focuses on how to properly "Switch" or more specifically, whip/beat your infant without leaving noticeable injuries and show them who's boss

Quotes from To Train Up A Child | Why Not Train A Child?

Their direct web site:
No Greater Joy
Lady With a Lot of Questions - No Greater Joy Ministries

Some specific areas of interest are as follows (noted by the first link above):

The Pearls recommend switching infants only a few months old on their bare skin. They describe switching their own 4 month old daughter (p.9).

"At four months she was too unknowing to be punished for disobedience. But for her own good, we attempted to train her not to climb the stairs by coordinating the voice command of “No” with little spats on the bare legs. The switch was a twelve-inch long, one-eighth-inch diameter sprig from a willow tree."

On p.79 they recommend whipping a 7 month old for screaming.

"A seven-month-old boy had, upon failing to get his way, stiffened clenched his fists, bared his toothless gums and called down damnation on the whole place. At a time like that, the angry expression on a baby’s face can resemble that of one instigating a riot. The young mother, wanting to do the right thing, stood there in helpless consternation, apologetically shrugged her shoulders and said, “What can I do?” My incredulous nine-year-old whipped back, “Switch him.” The mother responded, “I can’t, he’s too little.” With the wisdom of a veteran who had been on the little end of the switch, my daughter answered, “If he is old enough to pitch a fit, he is old enough to be spanked.”"

On p.65 co-author Debi Pearl whips the bare leg of a 15 month old she is babysitting, 10 separate times, for not playing with something she tells him to play with.

"After about ten acts of stubborn defiance, followed by ten switchings, he surrendered his will to one higher than himself. In rolling the wheel, he did what every accountable human being must do–he humbled himself before the “highest” and admitted that his interests are not paramount. After one begrudged roll, my wife turned to other chores."

On p.59 they recommend whipping a 3 year old until he is “totally broken.”

"She then administers about ten slow, patient licks on his bare legs. He cries in pain. If he continues to show defiance by jerking around and defending himself, or by expressing anger, then she will wait a moment and again lecture him and again spank him. When it is obvious he is totally broken, she will hand him the rag and very calmly say, “Johnny, clean up your mess.” He should very contritely wipe up the water."

Interesting way to make a 3 year old clean up a mess.

On p.55 the Pearls say a mother should hit her child if he cries for her.

"If a father is attempting to make a child eat his oats, and the child cries for his mother, then the mother should respond by spanking him for whining for her and for not eating his oats. He will then be glad to be dealing only with the father."

On p.46 the Pearls say that if a child does obey before being spanked, spank them anyway. And “if you have to sit on him to spank him, then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher.” “Defeat him totally.”

"Never reward delayed obedience by reversing the sentence. And, unless all else fails, don’t drag him to the place of cleansing. Part of his training is to come submissively. However, if you are just beginning to institute training on an already rebellious child, who runs from discipline and is too incoherent to listen, then use whatever force is necessary to bring him to bay. If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final."

"On the bare legs or bottom, switch him eight or ten licks; then, while waiting for the pain to subside, speak calm words of rebuke. If the crying turns to a true, wounded, submissive whimper, you have conquered; he has submitted his will. If the crying is still defiant, protesting and other than a response to pain, spank him again."

On p.47 they give details of what to use for a spanking instrument.

"Any spanking, to effectively reinforce instruction, must cause pain, but the most pain is on the surface of bare skin where the nerves are located. A surface sting will cause sufficient pain, with no injury or bruising. Select your instrument according to the child’s size. For the under one year old, a little, ten- to twelve-inch long, willowy branch (striped of any knots that might break the skin) about one-eighth inch diameter is sufficient. Sometimes alternatives have to be sought. A one-foot ruler, or its equivalent in a paddle, is a sufficient alternative. For the larger child, a belt or larger tree branch is effective."

Also, here are 3 quotes which I feel show some questionable doctrine:

"The guilt burdened soul cries out for the lashes and nails of justice. Your child cannot yet understand that the Creator has been lashed and nailed in his place. Only the rod of correction can preserve his soul until the day of moral dawning."

"The parent holds in his hand (in the form of a little switch) the power to absolve the child of guilt, cleanse his soul, instruct his spirit, strengthen his resolve, and give him a fresh start through a confidence that all indebtedness is paid."

"A child properly and timely spanked is healed in the soul and restored to wholeness of spirit. A child can be turned back from the road to hell through proper spankings. “Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Prov. 23:13, 14). (p. 44)"


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There's plenty more of course.... they even go into detail describing the proper weapons to use against your young child, such as a whipper snipper cord for a child under 12 months.

In another section, they note that even if your child has been good all day and obeyed everything you commanded of them, create a situation where they would disobey you so you can beat them some more.... just to be sure they know who's boss.

Basically, you beat the crap out of your child, make them fear you, have no personality and become bottled up inside due to fear of abuse.

Ironic that their web site is called "No Greater Joy" as I wonder what that pertains to.... No Greater Joy than unleashing all your frustrations and anger of the world on a helpless child you're supposed to protect??

And on their home page they note:

".....The Pearls' five children were all homeschooled, and have grown up to become missionaries and church leaders. Though holding a degree from the Mid-South Bible College (now Victory University), when Michael is asked for his credentials on child training he points to his five children....."

Nice...
 

karrie

OogedyBoogedy
Jan 6, 2007
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bliss
Well, Christ, and the laws of Canada, all fly in the face of their 'Christian ways'. Thank God for that.
 

karrie

OogedyBoogedy
Jan 6, 2007
27,780
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bliss
Small c christians.

Gosh no. They'd probably be the first to nit pick and demand that you capitalise. But, spelling makes no difference in trying to differentiate one Christian from the next. Action and attitude do. Cruelty, superiority, judgement...all traits of people who use the word Christian in error.
 

petros

The Central Scrutinizer
Nov 21, 2008
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They don't consider Catholics Christians yet everything in their christian religion originated from Catholicism and now none of it is even Christian.
 

damngrumpy

Executive Branch Member
Mar 16, 2005
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I'm happy to be a retired Catholic even these are weird people. Of course they would rather
use a whip than love go figure.
 

SLM

The Velvet Hammer
Mar 5, 2011
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And on their home page they note:

".....The Pearls' five children were all homeschooled, and have grown up to become missionaries and church leaders. Though holding a degree from the Mid-South Bible College (now Victory University), when Michael is asked for his credentials on child training he points to his five children....."

Nice...

And they will all undoubtedly continue the cycle of beatings upon their own children.

Spanking a child is one thing but this is freaking abusive.
 

Praxius

Mass'Debater
Dec 18, 2007
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And they will all undoubtedly continue the cycle of beatings upon their own children.

Spanking a child is one thing but this is freaking abusive.

Indeed... the kid a few months old doesn't know any friggin better, it's just starting to figure out the world around them. They can be taught right and wrong without continually beating the crap out of them.

Don't get me wrong... In the 80's, I grew up in an Irish / Roman Catholic family, with a father who was a school teacher/gym teacher, who was in the military and had a short fuse... I got a few smacks here and there, tossed into walls, etc.... even when I didn't do anything except maybe use the wrong tone when talking.... but most times it was justified as all three of us kids were lil' Sh*ts who knew how to push buttons.

And now that all three of us have kids of our own (my sister was the lucky one who ended up with triplets who conspire against her).... we knew very well what runs in our bloods as children and how we push our limits.... but none of us have ever raised a hand towards our kids unless it was a serious injury/death situation.... I have yet to do anything of the sort, but my 11 month old son has already had that "Look" in his face when he does things..... my wife says he doesn't know better, but I know that look and that little smirk on his face because I had it.... he's already pushing buttons.

Besides picking him up and putting him somewhere else, telling him sternly not to do something for specific reasons, there are times when he goes all day driving us both nuts.... then he gets the finger wag and a sterner voice from me, "You're time is coming real soon kid.... there's going to be consequences!"

I'm not losing my cool or anything and is still in a half-serious tone.... but once he's past 1 year of age, my long list of consequences, punishments and mind-f*cks I've been saving up over the years will start to be unleashed.

I know it'll only evolve him to try and out smart me as he gets older, but I've still got clear memory of my childhood all the way back to age 4, plus my experiences up until now backing me when it comes to thinking what he's going to think and then out thinking his thinking so that he's out thought before he thinks he thought.

*shakes fist* oh boy'yo.... it's just beginning little one.

But these clowns with their beating kids for just about anything????

No thought process... they're too lazy to be real parents and just resort to punishment, violence and fear.
 

petros

The Central Scrutinizer
Nov 21, 2008
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Don't get me wrong... In the 80's, I grew up in an Irish / Roman Catholic family, with a father who was a school teacher/gym teacher, who was in the military and had a short fuse... I got a few smacks here and there, tossed into walls, etc.... even when I didn't do anything except maybe use the wrong tone when talking.... but most times it was justified as all three of us kids were lil' Sh*ts who knew how to push buttons.
In my E Euro culture, it's the women you fear. You may take a few knocks from the men and your *** is sore but the women are freakin' violent.

You learn very quickly not to piss off Baba or Maty.
 

SLM

The Velvet Hammer
Mar 5, 2011
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Indeed... the kid a few months old doesn't know any friggin better, it's just starting to figure out the world around them. They can be taught right and wrong without continually beating the crap out of them.

A baby only a few months old is barely self-aware let alone has an awareness of the world around him or her. So those lessons cannot be taught.

Don't get me wrong... In the 80's, I grew up in an Irish / Roman Catholic family, with a father who was a school teacher/gym teacher, who was in the military and had a short fuse... I got a few smacks here and there, tossed into walls, etc.... even when I didn't do anything except maybe use the wrong tone when talking.... but most times it was justified as all three of us kids were lil' Sh*ts who knew how to push buttons.

And now that all three of us have kids of our own (my sister was the lucky one who ended up with triplets who conspire against her).... we knew very well what runs in our bloods as children and how we push our limits.... but none of us have ever raised a hand towards our kids unless it was a serious injury/death situation.... I have yet to do anything of the sort, but my 11 month old son has already had that "Look" in his face when he does things..... my wife says he doesn't know better, but I know that look and that little smirk on his face because I had it.... he's already pushing buttons.

Besides picking him up and putting him somewhere else, telling him sternly not to do something for specific reasons, there are times when he goes all day driving us both nuts.... then he gets the finger wag and a sterner voice from me, "You're time is coming real soon kid.... there's going to be consequences!"
And just how big is his smile when you're all finger waving stern? Lol.

I'm not losing my cool or anything and is still in a half-serious tone.... but once he's past 1 year of age, my long list of consequences, punishments and mind-f*cks I've been saving up over the years will start to be unleashed.
Revenge huh? Sounds like a great idea. It is a dish best served cold and all that. (And I know you're half-serious, which also means you're half-joking.) I'd say go all out Snidely Whiplash, twirling mustache, tie 'em to the rail road tracks villain. That way you get your revenge and at the same time it's a huge self-esteem burst for him (something important to a growing boy) as he can at least picture himself as 'the hero of the piece'. It's a sacrifice for you, sure, but sometimes a dads got to do what a dads got to do. ;)


Whole lotta self-righteous postin goin on.

Really? So you would advocate whipping a seven month old child for crying? Or that a three year old needs to be "broken"? Just what are your thoughts on the whole thing anyway?
 

Praxius

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Dec 18, 2007
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It's not revenge in the slightest... The things I referred to as saving up over the years is not anger or some frustration, those things I have been saving up are various tricks of the trade that I have seen that worked on other children by others, or on children I took care of myself, or were used on me as a child.

If you mean revenge for what happened to me as a child, that's non existent as I have no ill will towards my parents, it was all under different circumstances to what I am going through now in my family, as well as a different time.

My point is that i know what my brother, sister, cousins and i did through our childhoods towards our parents, i know of similar stories my parents, uncles, aunts and grandparents told me of what they all went through... And i have been paying close attention to what my brother, sister, cousins and myself are currently going through with our kids.

I know to prepare for the worst because it's in our genetics... And if you think I'm a bowel of sunshine now as an adult, you would have loved me when i was much younger.

My above list of consequences and punishments are not going to be based on some revenge mentality.... They're not based on any violent reaction to what he may or may not do. The only physical consequences he may face is a smack on the *** if he does something dangerous to his health/life or to someone else's.

My finger wagging thing was half serious in that me telling him there are consequences coming soon is stating a truth, but also knowing he doesn't have a lick of a clue as to what I'm telling him.

And yeah... By the book, at early stages of a baby's life they hardly know what's going on around them.... But from my son being born three months premature, among many other things I'm not getting into right now, my son isn't a text book case and started doing a number of things weeks/months ahead of the other babies at our parent's group, as well as many of the other babies the nurses were taken care of while he was in the hospital.

We never experienced that kind of baby that just lays there doing nothing... He eats twice as much as a baby of his age yet is still half the weight of a baby his age, which is due to him being extremely active and constantly moving around & wanting to see and do everything.... What he eats, he burns off.

While other kids at the parents/playgroup were laying around, he was crawling. While they started to crawl, he's currently walking around with only one hand supporting him.... While other babies are being spoon fed mush, we've been feeding him solids which he won't eat unless we let him pick it up himself and put it in his own mouth.

He knows more about what's going on around him than your average baby, which our doctors, the nurses, family and friends can all confirm due to their own experiences with him.

When I leave for work, he sees me head for the door to follow and then screams when I close it behind me cuz he knows I won't be back for some time. For the 30 or so minutes before I arrive back home from work, my wife tells me that he regularly looks at the door waiting for me to open it.

He knows things he should and shouldn't do.... And while I am fully aware that in most cases, many babies during his development cycle are still trying to comprehend the world around them and figuring out what's what, our situation does not align with that text book description.

I can understand your view towards the things I said in my previous post, but you know nothing about our specific sitaution and what my son's life is like..... And even now I have only scratched the surface of the entire sitaution.

Based on just the above information alone, I know his personality, I know what he will be like soon enough and I know that while he's going to be quite the remarkable little guy, especially considering all he has gone through, I also know what he has been trying to do already with the knowledge he has gathered and I know from past experience with myself and the rest of my blood line, the defiance and how stubborn he will be (and already is)

He's already got my hatred for bed time that I had all through childhood and he's quite the fighter when it comes to stay awake, simply because he just wants to keep going and thinks he's missing out on something. He's already been giving us crap for eating different food than him and how he can't have any of it during dinner, which has been going on for at least two months now.

Regardless if you or anybody else reading this believes anything I am typing matters not.... I have no reason to exaggerate or lie. Sometimes it would be great if we had a text book baby who just ate, crapped and slept the whole time, because both my wife and I have been going non stop since the day he was born and even more so when he finally came home.

He's been a fighter from day one and as stubbron as an ox... Which neither of us are complaining about because despite having been born early and having some alergy issues, he did so good in development while in the hospital and had no other complications the docs were worried about, that they sent him home a month early... Mostly because there were sicker babies that needed his bed, but also because he was medically cleared to go home a month early.

So with all of that, I have no intentions of beating, abusing or seeking some revenge on my child as you seem to think with your ignorant views..... He's already gone through enough sh*t and surpassed everyone's expectations to deserve such treatment.

But I still have my ways of dicipline and consequence that he will experience non the less when the time comes.

And teaching a child proper dicipline and consequence for actions is not some sort of twisted vengeance as you seem to think. It's about keeping them alive and safe from harm now and into the future.

..... And teaching consequence and proper punishment is not meant to be a tool for being a lazy parent by forcing them to do what you want like the idiots I linked in the opening post, whom used violence and fear to have a child they don't really have to raise.

Whipping an infant dozens of times because they wouldn't play with the toy you wanted them to play with? That's what's fk'd up.

And if anybody want to think any of this is self-righteous posting.... Good. Maybe it is.... Suck it up buttercups.
 
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JLM

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Nov 27, 2008
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These people are completely F**king nuts! They give "religion" a bad name!

And they will all undoubtedly continue the cycle of beatings upon their own children.

Spanking a child is one thing but this is freaking abusive.

These people would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad. What baby is climbing stairs at 4 months? Maybe a rabbit!