Question about Toronto

Colpy
#1
It seems I am going to be spending about 15 days in Toronto.........I am to be sent there by my employer to take a course.

I have never set foot in the GTA before, and there is an aspect to this that makes me quite uneasy. I hope the forum members can help.........

Does my IQ start to drop the second I enter Toronto, or is the lack of intelligence and common sense so obviously inherent in Torontonians a consequence of long-term residence?

If I avoid the water, will I be OK, or are the stupid toxins airborne?

If I do experience a loss of mental capacity, will it regenerate when I get the hell out of La La land and return to the realm of sanity?

Please help, I do NOT wish to come back to NB and start campaigning for gun control, multi-culturalism, and the Liberal Party of Canada......

I thank you in advance for your urgently required advice on this matter......
 
petros
#2
Give Church St. a try.

Just kidding.

Toronto isn't that bad of a city for it's size.

It all depends on what you like.

As for your IQ that is a can of worms and loaded scenario that I'll leave for others to debate.

Have fun.
 
Liberalman
#3
Quote:

Give Church St. a try.

Petros right and then you will understand the term "When push comes to shove" something that all east coasters do
 
petros
#4
The people there are pleasant enough and at many pubs they'll even offer to push in your stool.
 
MapleOne
#5
On average Toronto is clean and the people are highly educated. It is as diverse in ideas as it is in people. The Harbour front is incredible and if you get a chance visit Little Italy or Chinatown.

I live about 100 Km's away and look forward to going into Toronto whenever I can.
 
Risus
#6
Colpy, make sure you visit the Wheat Sheaf, Toronto's oldest pub, over 150 years old. A lot of history there, cold beer and great wings.
 
Nuggler
#7
Have a good'un there, Colpy.

Just don't be wanderin round starin at all the 'big tall buildings' er people be thinkin yer an easy mark.

They won't know about the .357 in the back holster and the little snubnose .38 in the ankle.

Kiss the cod when yez gets 'ome, me lad. Don't be fergettin 'ow to use the 'and line and jigger.

eh.

 
DurkaDurka
#8
Colpy, make sure to check out the Brass Rail at Yonge & Bloor
 
lone wolf
#9
Just remember.... The sign when you leave Quebec is a route marker - not the speed limit
 
DurkaDurka
#10
I feel sorry for Colpy, leaving his fishing village for the first time for the metropolis of Toronto.

Quick Primer for you, Colpy.

- We speak a different dialect of English in Toronto
- We actively frown upon mountain folk & east coasters
- You are required to have at least one gay experience while in Toronto, since Toronto is the gay mecca and all
- You will be smarter if anything after visiting Toronto as you are required to take Multiculturalism 101
 
Durry
#11
Bring a can of paint with you when you go to Toronto. You'll probably have to show them how to use it, because I don't think they know how to paint things. Young street has probably never seen a paint brush.

Good luck,
Don't stay to long, that Lib mentality can be catchy.
 
Risus
#12
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

I feel sorry for Colpy, leaving his fishing village for the first time for the metropolis of Toronto.

Quick Primer for you, Colpy.

- We speak a different dialect of English in Toronto
- We actively frown upon mountain folk & east coasters
- You are required to have at least one gay experience while in Toronto, since Toronto is the gay mecca and all
- You will be smarter if anything after visiting Toronto as you are required to take Multiculturalism 101

I agree with your list except the gay BS...
 
Colpy
#13
Thanks for the advice, folks!

Nuggs.....much as I love my .357 revolver, I'm taking my 9mm, so I have lots of ammo to spray around to kill at least a couple of innocent bystanders.....when in Rome...

Petros, I like my stool left strictly alone.....

Durka, being frowned upon is Okay, I'm worried they'll LIKE me!

And Wolfie, I'm flying.....

etc.

Thanks.
 
Dexter Sinister
#14
Quote: Originally Posted by ColpyView Post

Does my IQ start to drop the second I enter Toronto....

Nothing to worry about. When you leave New Brunswick and arrive in Toronto, the average IQ in both places will rise.
 
AnnaG
#15
Quote: Originally Posted by Dexter SinisterView Post

Nothing to worry about. When you leave New Brunswick and arrive in Toronto, the average IQ in both places will rise.

roflmao

Um, Colpy, don't spend anymore time outside an A/Ced building. We were there for a while one summer and the humidex factor made going any distance away from an A/C unit absolutely miserable.
 
TenPenny
#16
Here's my advice: if you're taking that 5:30am flight to Toronto, pick up a Tims on the way to the airport.
 
bobnoorduyn
#17
Hey Colpy, you say you're being sent by your employer to attend a course; how much free time do you think you're going to have? I got sent to Washington for two weeks for a course and spent the whole time in Reston VA, I never got into DC, didn't get a totally free day, and by the time I was done each day it was either too dark to venture out at or I was too friggin' bagged anyway.

I get sent to Toronto 3 times a year for training, usually for no more than 3 days at a time, (but that is more than enough, a little bit of Toronto goes a long, long way).

If you know you're going to have free time though, trust me, there are lots of things to do that can cost you plenty, I grew up there, and the hand is out everywhere. But there are also plenty of things to see and do that aren't going to cost you an arm and a leg, or anything at all. Depends on what you like. As a kid I used to love going to the St. Laurence Market or Kensington Market, just to watch people or buy some weird stuff you wouldn't find anywhere else. Or just walk up and down Yonge Street, take pictures, go to City Hall, eat in the employee cafeteria, I didn't have much money and it was cheap.

A lot also depends on where you are being put up and how much access you have to transportation and again how much free time you will have. Where we stay it is a 40 minute walk to the nearest liquor store, or a 30 minute bus ride including walking, waiting and transfers.

Dont worry though, unless you make the commitment to live there, you won't get your brains sucked out, being from there I can see how it can and does happen.

BTW, big heavy and slow, I still like the 230gr FMJ .45 ACP, 4.6 - 5gr of HP38 propellent, so do most old military folks, (the lead SWC is actually a more deadly round according to a ballistician former SAS friend of mine, but they don't always feed well in semi autos). Statistically it takes three 9mm rounds to equal one .45, (that takes into account the misses too).

Oh yes, as Tenpenny mentioned, if you're taking the early RJ, you might want to grab a Tim's beforehand, but if it is coffee, drink it enroute, you can't take liquids through security. Better yet, eat something and have your coffee before you leave the house or else be a victim of the airline. Hey, if you're leaving YSJ next Sunday I might just see you there. Have fun.
 
DurkaDurka
#18
Quote: Originally Posted by RisusView Post

I agree with your list except the gay BS...

I was being facetious....
 
Dexter Sinister
#19
Quote: Originally Posted by AnnaGView Post

roflmao.

LOL Have you any idea how long I've waited for an opportunity to use that line? Got a few others too. I'd love for somebody to ask what a logarithm is...
 

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