Quote: Originally Posted by Deafening Silence
Totally illogical. Priests and nuns experience lots of intimacy and no sex. I experience intimacy with my daughter without sex. You are completely off base here. Until you produce a medical reason why lower level needs have to be met first, I just don't buy it. Intimacy without sex is far more beneficial for mental health than sex without intimacy.
Because sex is a physiological need? I know its cute you want to counteract nature. But mankind evolved to breed, like all animals. You go insane without sex.
And in Maslow land "intimacy" is not the term used. I use it here because people were implying romantic intimacy had to be intimate. Family bonds with your daughter are not the same and do not fill the same human need. So thats waaaay off base and getting away from the issue. I hope out of confusion and not by trying to derail a debate with willfully wrong information.
As for Nun's and Catholic priests, I think that one has been put to rest. Through the ages very few priests and nun's have suppressed that need for long term. Many who do are that segment of the population born without a sex drive.
Sex is a physiological drive, like hunger and need for sleep. Those have to be met first. Then come needs of safety and security. THEN come needs for love, belonging and family connections (including romantic relationships). After that comes the need for esteem such as status and reputation. And the last stage is the need for self fulfillment and growth.
Basically, no matter what else: You cannot be happy until you have food, sleep, sex and shelter.
If you have all that, then you need security and protection. But if you don't have lower order needs (like you don't have food) you will sacrifice security and protection for it. This is why despite the risks people go to prostitutes.
Then if you have all that, you need family connections, friends and a relationship. But you will sacrifice and put this at risk for a lower level need. Even if you have a happy family and love your spouse, if you are in a sexless marriage you will risk it all for sex. This why many affairs happen. This isn't just related to physiological needs either. Many people will leave their family for security needs too, such as going away for long periods of time to send money to keep their home life stable. Or sometimes they just go and leave to work themselves and get a stable life (then having met that need try and make ammends to the abandoned family)
After than comes the need for esteem. Reputation and social standing. The need to be respected and important. But, this too will be abandoned for low level needs, be it risking everything to get oral treatment from an intern (physiological needs) or deciding you don't give a damn what others think and choosing to stand by your friends/family/spouse (lower level need, belonging)
And the last thing is self-actualization and growth. Once you have everything else behind you , you will strive to better yourself for its own sake, and that will be what makes you happy. In lower levels you will still better yourself, but those times are to achieve needs. (Ie, I will learn to hunt so I can eat, I will learn to drive so I can get a job and have security, I will go to college so I can get the good job and support a family, I will take these courses so im elligible for promotion and get the status I want), When you hit self actualization you grow for the sole purpose of growing (I will learn to be a carpenter, because hey, its fun to learn to be a carpenter even though i'll never use the knowledge)