Emotions or rational thinking?

[Vereya]

I have a question for everyone. What do you think is the best way to go through life - by listening to your rational side or to your emotional side? In other words, is it the brain or the heart for you?
Personally, I believe that there are very few situations when we can let emotions rule. I am strongly convinced that in order to succeed, even in such things as relationships, that are based upon emotions, you have to stick to rational thinking. My point is that before you do anything, be able to explain, at least to yourself, what you are doing, what you are doing that for, and just why you believe in success.
And what is your opinion? How do you try to live your life - relying upon your intellect and rationality, or upon your emotions? Why did you make the choice you did? And are you satisfied with the results so far?

 

[AmberEyes]

Agh, it's such a hard choice sometimes. More often than not I try to let rationality lead the way, but there are times when it breaks my heart to do so, and it's times like that I want to let emotions rule my thinking. I broke up with my boyfriend a few months back due to rational thinking, and I'm still kicking myself for it. Just because it made sense doesn't mean it's what I wanted. Of course, I'm progressing a lot faster without him there to distract me, but I'm very lonely because of it.

I think rational thinkers, the ones who can truly mask their emotions (and beliefs), are the ones that were meant to lead.

 

[Curiosity]

Amber

I think rational thinkers, the ones who can truly mask their emotions (and beliefs), are the ones that were meant to lead.

I am sorry but I could not disagree more. Only when there is a direct balance and equality of both within, can a person make decisions regarding leadership of others......

There are many instances positive action has been taken on emotion - such as saving someone from a burning home...as an example. Rational thought would keep us frozen and let the people suffer....

 

[Curiosity]

Vereya

I am fully satisfied because I am still in a learning and growth mode. I try to keep an equilibrium of both kinds of reactive forces.

Self-knowledge about our logical/rational and emotional makeup is one which we have to be very honest about - and try to keep a balance of both in our lives.

Without emotion how could we ever forgive our faults - we would go through life being a robot dictated by rational belief - even if the belief was wrong (think Nazi or PolPot or some other abnormal dictators in our world).

 

[Vereya]

Amber - yes, it is a very hard choice to make. Most people are naturally emotionally-oriented, and to turn a deaf ear to our feelings and to do what reason tells is often a great challenge. I understand what your feelings about your boyfriend are right now, because I had to make a similar decision a couple of years ago, at a time when I started analyzing my life, and thinking real hard about how to move on. At that time I broke up with a man, who was very dear to me, because I had the strength to realize (just like you have it now) that it would be the best decision. It was very hard for me for the first time, I had certain moments of weakness, when I feared that I have just made a huge mistake and made a mess of my life. But right now I understand that it was a wise, though painful decision. So just hold on, and trust that everything will work out just great for you in the long run.

Oh, and just an afterthought - it actually seems to me that you have to be emotionally-motivated to start some serious political, social or religious movement. Rational thinkers come next, and kind of organize their achievements. I am not too sure about this, though. I only just thought of it

And as for leadership, I will disagree with you here. I don't think that people who mask their real beliefs can lead anyone. In order to be a good leader and to gather people around yourself, you have to practice what you preach, and believe in it yourself. If you don't, you just won't make a hard enough effort to convince others. If you take the greatest spiritual leaders, or the most significant dictators of the 20th century, such as Lenin, or Stalin, or Hitler, to name just a few, really believed in their doctrine. I don't think they woul've succeeded otherwise.

 

[AmberEyes]

I guess I'm just not experienced enough yet to understand what good leadership does entail. I think what I was trying to say was that, for example, a leader with religious beliefs who allows himself to feel too much might be biased in his decision making, favouring those who share similar views with himself. Where as, of course (and this is an obvious statement) a person who feels nothing at all can often be inhumane and base his decisions on what he believes to be the "best for us all," or the best for himself.

The only reason I think that rational thinkers should lead is because of what I'm told of myself. One of my ex boyfriends once said to me, "Amber you are a beautiful person, a role model. Your logical mind will lead you to far greater places than mine, I just hope you don't end up lonely because of it."

That really stuck with me. So many people have told me what a great leader I would be if I put my mind to it, not because I feel but because I'm rational, I can eliminate those that hold me back even though it breaks my heart. I guess I've always equated, since then, that rational thought will get you farther in life than love.

 

[Sparrow]

I guess I'm just not experienced enough yet to understand what good leadership does entail. I think what I was trying to say was that, for example, a leader with religious beliefs who allows himself to feel too much might be biased in his decision making, favouring those who share similar views with himself. Where as, of course (and this is an obvious statement) a person who feels nothing at all can often be inhumane and base his decisions on what he believes to be the "best for us all," or the best for himself.

The only reason I think that rational thinkers should lead is because of what I'm told of myself. One of my ex boyfriends once said to me, "Amber you are a beautiful person, a role model. Your logical mind will lead you to far greater places than mine, I just hope you don't end up lonely because of it."

That really stuck with me. So many people have told me what a great leader I would be if I put my mind to it, not because I feel but because I'm rational, I can eliminate those that hold me back even though it breaks my heart. I guess I've always equated, since then, that rational thought will get you farther in life than love.

First you have to have emotion but it has to be tempered with rationality. For instance, it is your emotion that makes you want to succeed and then it is rationality that enables you to get there. In life you cannot have one without the other because you would not be a complete person, you would either be an emotional wreck or a robot and that would not be good.

Of course there have been people like Lenin, Stalin, Hitler and PolPot who believed in what they were doing but they had a few screws loose, they had a twisted idiology that they believed in but there was no emotion or rationality.

As long as you believe in yourself and temper it with emotion and rationality you will be able to achieve all you dreams.

 

[hermanntrude]

as usual i am going to attempt the middle road:

As far as i'm concerned, emotions are perfectly valid pointers of the rational path. they should never be ignored. When i feel an emotional response to something i'm trying to figure out, I trace it back, to find out where it's coming from. Usually it's a direct response to something i know or suspect but don't know that i know or suspect. Once that something is known and/or understood, the rational decision is easier. of course sometimes it's hard to pin down the source of your emotion, and sometimes there isnt time to decipher it, but the more you analyse your own emotions the better you know how they work and the more you can trust them when the source is unknown. factors like tiredness and previous good/bad experiences should be considered too

 

[Said1]

I have a question for everyone. What do you think is the best way to go through life - by listening to your rational side or to your emotional side? In other words, is it the brain or the heart for you?
Personally, I believe that there are very few situations when we can let emotions rule. I am strongly convinced that in order to succeed, even in such things as relationships, that are based upon emotions, you have to stick to rational thinking. My point is that before you do anything, be able to explain, at least to yourself, what you are doing, what you are doing that for, and just why you believe in success.
And what is your opinion? How do you try to live your life - relying upon your intellect and rationality, or upon your emotions? Why did you make the choice you did? And are you satisfied with the results so far?

I guess you've never been in a relationship with a passive/aggressive alcoholic then, have you?

But seriously, if I find I'm too emotional, I try and shelve the decision for another day, when I'm thinking more rationally, although my gut NEVER lies.

 

[Vereya]

I guess you've never been in a relationship with a passive/aggressive alcoholic then, have you?

Actually, I've been married to an alcoholic for four years. Can't say that those were the most enjoyable years of my life. And I was really glad to get out of that marriage

 

[L Gilbert]

Amber



I am sorry but I could not disagree more. Only when there is a direct balance and equality of both within, can a person make decisions regarding leadership of others......

There are many instances positive action has been taken on emotion - such as saving someone from a burning home...as an example. Rational thought would keep us frozen and let the people suffer....

Sorry, I disagree with that. Fear of burning would cause most people to back away. Some would use reason to calculate how the odds of surviving would be. Firefighters would be nothing but walking containers of emotion if your hypothesis were true. But, there are an awful lot of firefighters who are relatively devoid of emotion when fighting fires, pulling people out of fires, etc. Some are simply doing a job. In fact some people actually get a thrill out of doing dangerous things and actively seek those situations because they find regular life bland. There are a few people around who are simply altruistic and act before they have a chance to emote or think.

 

[L Gilbert]

as usual i am going to attempt the middle road:

As far as i'm concerned, emotions are perfectly valid pointers of the rational path. they should never be ignored. When i feel an emotional response to something i'm trying to figure out, I trace it back, to find out where it's coming from. Usually it's a direct response to something i know or suspect but don't know that i know or suspect. Once that something is known and/or understood, the rational decision is easier. of course sometimes it's hard to pin down the source of your emotion, and sometimes there isnt time to decipher it, but the more you analyse your own emotions the better you know how they work and the more you can trust them when the source is unknown. factors like tiredness and previous good/bad experiences should be considered too

Right. A balance of emotion and reason is the target to reach for. Emotion to point us in the direction and reason to figure out how the best way to go in that direction.

By the way, that's the main reason I did not vote.

 

[Vereya]

First you have to have emotion but it has to be tempered with rationality. For instance, it is your emotion that makes you want to succeed and then it is rationality that enables you to get there. In life you cannot have one without the other because you would not be a complete person, you would either be an emotional wreck or a robot and that would not be good.

I will agree that we all have a rational and an emotional side. We won't be human if we don't have any emotions at all. In fact, I think that it is imposible to eliminate them altogether. My point is that most people let emotions play a way too big a part in their lives. I mean, books, and movies and songs and most moral principles of any society are based upon emotions. We are influenced from our childhood that emotions are what should motivate you - I like this, I don't like that, I want this, I don't want that, I love this one, I hate that one, etc. And as the result people are often blinded by their emotions. A share of rational thinking can save you a great deal of trouble, by preventing you from making a mistake under the influence of emotions.

 

[L Gilbert]

Ah. That's me - sometimes driving under the influence. Stupid drivers ignoring the rules of the road irritate me, so I swear and yell now & then. Gotta have some sort of outlet for frustration.

 

[Curiosity]

Sorry, I disagree with that. Fear of burning would cause most people to back away. Some would use reason to calculate how the odds of surviving would be. Firefighters would be nothing but walking containers of emotion if your hypothesis were true. But, there are an awful lot of firefighters who are relatively devoid of emotion when fighting fires, pulling people out of fires, etc. Some are simply doing a job. In fact some people actually get a thrill out of doing dangerous things and actively seek those situations because they find regular life bland. There are a few people around who are simply altruistic and act before they have a chance to emote or think.

L.Gilbert

To base your whole assumption and "rational thought" on the example I gave indicates that your answer didn't address what I was pointing out.

Of course trained firefighters and law enforcement people and rescue crews are trained in rational thought - they would not last long on the job.....they were not included as part of my example....you latched onto an argument which disregarded what I was pointing out... and yes people do help fire victims.... peoples' houses completely involved in smoke and yet neighbors rush in to pull out the families and pets before the ambulance and fire trucks arrive... happens all the time....pure emotion...thank god for it.... nature endows us with superhuman strength often in a crisis and rational thought is shoved to the background.... often when it takes over... the rescuers faint or throw up.... seen it way too often...

I don't know where you live but we have fires almost every year here - sometimes twice a year... and we think nothing of running into the blazes which flash point without warning... to rescue horses, dogs, adults, kids, elderly.... and none of us think about it even though we have done it many times.... (well I've only done it five times)....

A regular person who is untrained in any kind of reactive reasoning (such as the majority of people who live normal daily lives without trauma)..... may react in heroic ways untried in their "normal lives"... and the reaction would be based on emotion ... "save the person".... Try to pry an unconscious person out of a smashed vehicle on a highway when it may be at least 20 or moreminutes before help arrives? People do this all the time..even when the car could explode.

Ever jump into a pool or a lake to help someone in difficulty. Sometimes fear of drowning makes a victim combative and there is a danger they can also pull their rescuer under..... but you think of these things generally as you are making your jump or dive into the water....

Disagree as you wish..... that's what a forum is about...

 

[temperance]

Sometimes I'm rationally emotional in my decision making and have learned thur trial and error to think things thur before reacting ,which doesn't always work so its a 70/30 split with rational out front

See I'm so emotional about the question I can rationalize it --lol

 

[hermanntrude]

Right. A balance of emotion and reason is the target to reach for. Emotion to point us in the direction and reason to figure out how the best way to go in that direction.

By the way, that's the main reason I did not vote.

I voted for rationality, because emotions are rational things. the only irrationality is our response to them

 

[Vereya]

I voted for rationality, because emotions are rational things. the only irrationality is our response to them

That is a very striking idea, hermanntrude. It never occured to me to view the issue in this light. Do you think that any emotion is rational? Any emotion whatever? And if the emotion itself is rational, how come we react to it in an irrational way? And if some emotions are rational, and some are not, how do we tell the difference between them, how do we distinguish which is which?

 

[Vereya]

Curiosity, your posts and the example that you gave, suggested to me such an idea: what are kindness and helpfulness in the first place? Are they emotions, or are they traits of character? A rational person can be very kind, helpful and neighbourly, whereas a person who is guided entirely by emotions is not necessarily a kind and caring kind of person. He might be guided by such emotions, as anger, hate or envy. And a rational person can find happiness in helping others, because it is a very nice thing to be surrounded by happy and contented people, who feel good about you.

 

[hermanntrude]

That is a very striking idea, hermanntrude. It never occured to me to view the issue in this light. Do you think that any emotion is rational? Any emotion whatever? And if the emotion itself is rational, how come we react to it in an irrational way? And if some emotions are rational, and some are not, how do we tell the difference between them, how do we distinguish which is which?

maybe rational is the wrong word. maybe rationality doesnt apply to emotions, but i stand by my claim that it's only the reaction to the emotion which can be irrational. Anyone's emotions are valid in any circumstances. If chocolate makes you scared, that's not irrational, it's strange. If you run away whenever you see a chocolate bar, however, that's irrational. Of course an irrational response might not be harmful so we don't have to control our emotions completely like a vulcan, we just need to practise second-thoughts. When we have an emotional response to something we should analyse it, try to find where the biases are, what the sources of the emotions are and what difference it should make to your judgement on your response.