Why do we gossip?

[china]

I wonder why we gossip? is it because it reveals others to us? And why should others be revealed to us? Why do you want to know others? Why this extraordinary concern about others? First of all, why do we gossip? It is a form of restlessness, is it not? Like worry, it is an indication of a restless mind. Why this desire to interfere with others, to know what others are doing, saying? It is a very superficial mind that gossips, isn’t it? - an inquisitive mind which is wrongly directed.But do we know others if we don’t know ourselves? Can we judge others, if we do not know the way of our own thinking, the way we act, the way we behave? Why this extraordinary concern over others? Is it not an escape, really, this desire to find out what others are thinking and feeling ? Doesn’t it offer an escape from ourselves? Is there not in it also the desire to interfere with others’ lives? Isn’t our own life sufficiently difficult, sufficiently complex, sufficiently painful, without dealing with others’, interfering with others’? Is there time to think about others in that gossipy, cruel, ugly manner? Why do we do this? You know, everybody does it. Practically everybody gossips about somebody else. Why?

 

[Curiosity]

China - you brat!!!

I think in western society (which is the only one I can speak on).... silence often indicates rudeness, superior disregard for others, impaired isolation, sparseness of soul and life, and dull dull dull.

As we strive to be "liked and a part of society" - we use language and body indicators to send the message
to others that we have interesting lives to share, nice stories to tell, even some sad stories to find a sympathetic listener to share with and occasionally an interest in what others' lives are like.

Gossip - while we consider it in negative terms - is merely the sharing of others' stories which seem different than the ones in our own lives. Of course gossip is a weapon used often against the person who
is being gossiped about. But again that seems to be part of our need to be heard and accepted...even at the expense of others.

It's part of reassuring ourselves we belong. Man's lifelong journey in what we call our place in this world.

 

[china]

Curiosity
Gossip - while we consider it in negative terms - is merely the sharing of others' stories which seem different than the ones in our own lives.______________________________________________________

Hi Fej Chang Bang ,
Perhaps , but I think, first of all, we gossip about others because we are not sufficiently interested in the process of our own thinking and of our own action. We want to see what others are doing and perhaps, to put it kindly, to imitate others. Generally, when we gossip it is to condemn others, but, stretching it charitably, it is perhaps to imitate others. Why do we want to imitate others? Doesn’t it all indicate an extraordinary shallowness on our own part? It is an extraordinarily dull mind that wants excitement, and goes outside itself to get it. In other words gossip is a form of sensation, isn’t it?, in which we indulge. It may be a different kind of sensation, but there is always this desire to find excitement, distraction. If one really goes into this question deeply, one comes back to oneself, which shows that one is really extraordinarily shallow and seeking excitement from outside by talking about others. Catch yourself the next time you are gossiping about somebody; if you are aware of it, it will indicate an awful lot to you about yourself. Don’t cover it up by saying that you are merely inquisitive about others. It indicates restlessness, a sense of excitement, a shallowness, a lack of real, profound interest in people.Obviously that isn't you Curiosity.

 

[tamarin]

Gossip reassures us that no matter how vile, mean, loose and treacherous we are, we will always have a competitor. We will always have company in the hurt and harm we do. It's a comfort knowing despite how crappy you are as an individual you're not alone.

 

[sanctus]

I do not necessarily think that gossiping, in and of itself, is a harmful thing. For me, it displays an attempt within us all to connect with our fellow men. We are alone, we seek to connect. We do so by observing our neighbours, and perhaps through them, observing ourselves.

Naturally, gossip can be harmful if it is malicious and nasty in intent. But when you think about it, we gossip all the time about one another. It is how we connect and share.

Plus, it's just darn good fun sometimes

Chris​

 

[Canucklehead]

Great minds talk about ideas
Average minds talk about events
Small minds talk about others

... and that sums up gossip in my book.

 

[Sassylassie]

Oh now ya done it China I'm going to have to pull out my memory book and post a poem on gossip. I think gossip can be hurtful and painful when malice is behind it.

Nobody's friend (written by Ann Landers)

My name is gossip. I have no repect for justice.

I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives.

I am cunning and malicious and gather strengh with age.

The more I am quoted the more I am believed.

My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name or face.

To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.

I am nobody's friend once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.

I topple governments and wreck marriages.

I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion.

I make innocent people cry in their pillows.

Even my name hisses. I am called Gossip. I make headlines and heartaches.

Readers before you repeat a story ask yourself? Is it true? Is it harmless? Is it necessary.

If not don't repeat it.

 

[Said1]

I think, for the most part, people like drama. Cutting others down also makes us feel better, sometimes.






Speaking of gossip. Ever click reply all instead of reply? I've done that not once, but TWICE. The first time I swore I would never say anything bad about anyone ever again. I've fallen off the wagon a few times, but what comes around goes around and I got it back ten fold that day. The second time (this happened about 15 min ago) I said something nice. I"m going to have a VERY red face at work on Monday, but what the hell.....I'm single.....he's single.....:laugh:

 

[the caracal kid]

Great minds talk about ideas
Average minds talk about events
Small minds talk about others

... and that sums up gossip in my book.

agreed, canuchlehead.

on the topic of gossip though, it is because humans are social animals constantly determining their status in the heirarchy that there is a need for such information to both determine status and work to improve one's own status.

 

[Said1]

I think Kris Kristofferson said it best when he sang: ''Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on. Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.........'

 

[Sassylassie]

LOL Said1 I thought I was the only one who did boners like that. I emailed my favorite Penpal detailing how my mother was driving me bonkers and lo and behold I emailed it to Mom. Well I had Hubby use my keys go into Mom's apartment hack into her puter and delete the offending Email. It wasn't the first time I sent the wrong Email to someone. This is why I got bifocals, half my family would of disowned me if Mom read that Email.

 

[Said1]

LOL Said1 I thought I was the only one who did boners like that. I emailed my favorite Penpal detailing how my mother was driving me bonkers and lo and behold I emailed it to Mom. Well I had Hubby use my keys go into Mom's apartment hack into her puter and delete the offending Email. It wasn't the first time I sent the wrong Email to someone. This is why I got bifocals, half my family would of disowned me if Mom read that Email.

Ouch. That would make a good episode for a sitcom though!

 

[Sassylassie]

I can laugh now, but I assure you I was mortified when I sent that Email. I even emailed MSN and asked them to stop the email, they were rather amused when I suggested a button be designed on the Email page that I could hit that read Abort, Abort, and the Email would come back to me. I think it's a good idea thou.

 

[Said1]

I can laugh now, but I assure you I was mortified when I sent that Email. I even emailed MSN and asked them to stop the email, they were rather amused when I suggested a button be designed on the Email page that I could hit that read Abort, Abort, and the Email would come back to me. I think it's a good idea thou.

It is a good idea!

I like the suggestion of writing the letter an not mailing it. Safer that way.

We all have things we need to get off our chest, we also need validation for those things from others sometimes. Talking about legitimate problems you have with someone isn't exactly gossip, it's just unfortunate that some people can't keep their mouth shut!

 

[china]

Originally Posted by Canucklehead
Great minds talk about ideas
Average minds talk about events
Small minds talk about others
_____________________________________________________________________________-
I think the great minds don't just talk......they produce.

I

 

[The Project Man]

Gossip reassures us that no matter how vile, mean, loose and treacherous we are, we will always have a competitor. We will always have company in the hurt and harm we do. It's a comfort knowing despite how crappy you are as an individual you're not alone.

This I find to be true. Misery LOVES company. If the newest tidbit heard, is even worse that the last, even better.

Gossip is a stigma placed on conversation on the failure or a lacking of an individual or a group. A discussion on the other hand may be about an individual or a group. I find most people judgmental in their assessment of others. Seems people have less to say when things are going well for the person whom is the subject. "Oh that is wonderful, glad to hear it.", may be uttered. If an Achilles Heal is revealed lookout. The conversation would last for hours.