Raising ultimately happy offspring...

Percarus

New Member
Apr 21, 2013
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Perth - Australia
I type this to brainstorm ideas as to how parents can raise children in such a manner so that they never experience pain within their lifetime, but albeit with full empathetic understanding of what it is and its woes. How can we condition our young to be simply ‘wise’ to surreal levels, and in this process endure every emotional hardship, mayhap even physical pain (but not a necessity in this discussion – that can be deemed altogether impossible), through a state of clear ‘reason’ and rational logical thinking with the capability to see the greater scope of things?

What kind of affection should we show our offspring? Should we 'rough' them up early like the Spartans did their children? This under the guises of playfulness? I can’t think of anything else so shoot forward ideas...
 

talloola

Hall of Fame Member
Nov 14, 2006
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It would be unwise to try to shield one's children from the pain that goes with the happines, of 'life
on this earth'.

We give our children love, a home, food and clothing and an education.
They have to learn to go with the flow in life, 'with our help, and advice, and limitations', when
needed.

Our children have to go into the world after schooling, and care for themselves, and later their
families, and without learning to 'tough' it out, and 'look after themselves', while growing up
they won't be prepared to do it when on their own.

We found that all of the sports our 4 children were involved in, 'for years, at a high level', was
very influencial in shaping their ability to handle themselves, learn their own strengths and
weaknesses, (both physical and mental), and also respect the other guy, as he/she is doing the same.
The athletics built confidence in themselves, and strength in 'not being afraid' to move through
life, with ease, because that competetive ability is necessary many times in life.

That makes life interesting and challenging, and builds character in our children.

When I was a child I did the same, and always knew I could go home to my mom, and be safe, but
the next day, off to school, then off to work, and I dealt with the problems that came my way,
and felt good about myself for doing so, and learned from some of the stupid decisions I made.
 

Dexter Sinister

Unspecified Specialist
Oct 1, 2004
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Regina, SK
I type this to brainstorm ideas as to how parents can raise children in such a manner so that they never experience pain within their lifetime, but albeit with full empathetic understanding of what it is and its woes.
Can't be done and shouldn't be tried, you risk turning out selfish thoughtless little gits without empathy or understanding. Parenting's not that complicated, it's just hard. You have to be clear, you have to be consistent, you have to be patient, you have to be honest, and most important, you have to be there. As long as they know you love them and you've got their backs, you can't go very far wrong with children, and when you do go wrong it won't much matter, if you've got the other stuff working you can fix it.
 

Cliffy

Standing Member
Nov 19, 2008
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Nakusp, BC
Human children learn from their mistakes, from scraping their flesh, from breaking their bones, from broken hearts and bad decisions. An over protected child will have no means of dealing with the real world. They will either become withdrawn and despondent or psychopaths and sociopaths. Children need to be children and adults should learn from them about what is important in life, like smelling roses and loving unconditionally.
 

Percarus

New Member
Apr 21, 2013
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Perth - Australia
I am not talking about being 'overprotective', but instead inducing a more 'rational' semi-controlled environment that will wisen up the brats fast - this through ingenious aspects and educative intelligent ideals. Divulging 'wise' lore to the young through direct or indirect means and indeed foster a state of overall conditioned happiness - attributive to wisdom.
 

Tecumsehsbones

Hall of Fame Member
Mar 18, 2013
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I am not talking about being 'overprotective', but instead inducing a more 'rational' semi-controlled environment that will wisen up the brats fast - this through ingenious aspects and educative intelligent ideals. Divulging 'wise' lore to the young through direct or indirect means and indeed foster a state of overall conditioned happiness - attributive to wisdom.
That is without a doubt the most gorgeous pile of meaningless buzzwords I've ever seen outside a government document.
 

Ludlow

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Jun 7, 2014
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No one escapes pain in this life. I raised four children and they are all grown now. Fortunately they are all doing fine. I would only suggest stressing to your child the futility and unimportance of trying to live up to others expectations and that being yourself is all anyone should expect from another. Our children are not our possessions and their journey is not ours to steer. Love them and be there for them on their way and they'll be fine.
 

Twila

Nanah Potato
Mar 26, 2003
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No one escapes pain in this life. I raised four children and they are all grown now. Fortunately they are all doing fine. I would only suggest stressing to your child the futility and unimportance of trying to live up to others expectations and that being yourself is all anyone should expect from another. Our children are not our possessions and their journey is not ours to steer. Love them and be there for them on their way and they'll be fine.

This is beautifully said. Your children were most fortunate. I hope this message is spread and far and wide.
 

JLM

Hall of Fame Member
Nov 27, 2008
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No one escapes pain in this life. I raised four children and they are all grown now. Fortunately they are all doing fine. I would only suggest stressing to your child the futility and unimportance of trying to live up to others expectations and that being yourself is all anyone should expect from another. Our children are not our possessions and their journey is not ours to steer. Love them and be there for them on their way and they'll be fine.


I think so, their path in life is pretty much preordained and what you do or don't do makes very little difference.
 

JLM

Hall of Fame Member
Nov 27, 2008
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Put them to work if you want happy, healthy kids. It's worked for thousands of years. Why stop now?


A little work never hurt anyone but too much of it "makes Jack a dull boy"-:) Maybe there is some rationale to resting on the Sabbath.
 

Tecumsehsbones

Hall of Fame Member
Mar 18, 2013
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This is beautifully said. Your children were most fortunate. I hope this message is spread and far and wide.
Yeah, I remember when I decided there was no reason for me to pay attention to the expectation of others that I wear pants when I leave the house.

That went well.
 

Twila

Nanah Potato
Mar 26, 2003
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Yeah, I remember when I decided there was no reason for me to pay attention to the expectation of others that I wear pants when I leave the house.

That went well.

"that went well": Sarcasm?

We say "it doesn't matter what other people think" But it does. We are not solitary creatures. We do have a choice on how much value we put on what others think.