German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Avro

#1Dec 22nd, 2009

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:
1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)

WORLD'S BEST LOVERS
1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada

Spade

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 22nd, 2009

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:
1. Germany (too smelly)
What's worse than bratwurst?

2. England (too lazy)
Is that why Englishmen marry women with children?

3. Sweden (too quick)
They're all quickies?

4. Holland (too dominating)
Little boys with fingers in the dykes?

5. America (too rough)
Especially Roughriders?

6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
What could a Grecian earn?

7. Wales (too selfish)
Though they did swallow Jonah?

8. Scotland (too loud)
Is it their bags or pipes?

9. Turkey (too sweaty)
Gobblers?

10. Russia (too hairy)
When Harry Met Sally?

lone wolf

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 22nd, 2009

German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place.... Of course they are. It's difficult to keep 'er in place when you're concentrating on the race.

Johnnny

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 22nd, 2009

almost almost almost....... ahhhhh

splendid

SirJosephPorter

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 22nd, 2009

That is surprising (and flattering in a way), I would have thought that Canadians would be among the worst lovers, not among the best ones. I remember this joke, perhaps some of you may have heard it before, it makes the circuit here in Canada.

A man was visiting his friend, who had a condom factory. He was showing his friend around. He showed him a package and said,

“This is the American package, it is a package of six.”

“Why six?”

“One each for Monday to Saturday and none for Sunday. Americans are religious, they abstain on Sunday. Now, this is the French package, it is a package of 9.”

“Why nine”

“One each for Monday through Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday. Now here is the Canadian package, it is a package of twelve.”

The friend was suitable impressed. “Wow, 12. Why 12?”

“One for January, one for February and so on.”

bizzymum

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 22nd, 2009

Sorry, Canada is number 11 on the worst. A lot of talk and not much on the delivery.

Dexter Sinister

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

If they'd interviewed the thousands of women who've been with me, Canada would have ranked #1...

Cliffy

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by Dexter Sinister

If they'd interviewed the thousands of women who've been with me, Canada would have ranked #1...

"You blinded them with science!"....

Dexter Sinister

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by Cliffy

"You blinded them with science!"....

Well... their eyes did tend to roll up and close a lot, accompanied by some interesting noises, though nobody ever actually fainted...

Spade

#10

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by Dexter Sinister

Well... their eyes did tend to roll up and close a lot, accompanied by some interesting noises, though nobody ever actually fainted...

And the 2010 Giller Prize for Fiction goes to....

lone wolf

#11

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Did it spoil the moment if she said "Oh God"

Johnnny

#12

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by bizzymum

Sorry, Canada is number 11 on the worst. A lot of talk and not much on the delivery.

buckle up baby ill take you through the five speeds, from the looks of the survey sounds like things are rough south of the border and they dont like thatm, or your jealous canada beat america

Last edited by Johnnny; Dec 23rd, 2009 at 09:07 AM..

bizzymum

#13

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

You forget that I am not American and just live here for the moment. Actually perhaps I should just say men from Halifax are not that great.

SirJosephPorter

#14

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by bizzymum

You forget that I am not American and just live here for the moment. Actually perhaps I should just say men from Halifax are not that great.

Halifax, England, or Halifax, Canada?

Kakato

#15

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by bizzymum

You forget that I am not American and just live here for the moment. Actually perhaps I should just say men from Halifax are not that great.

Sound's like you havent had "canoe sex" yet.
You wont see that on the survey.

SirJosephPorter

#16

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by Johnnny

buckle up baby ill take you through the five speeds, from the looks of the survey sounds like things are rough south of the border and they dont like thatm, or your jealous canada beat america

And she is wrong anyway, Canada ranks right in the middle. In the 20 countries surveyed, Canada is No.10.

So I don’t know where she gets that ‘number 11 on the worst’. Might as well say that Spain was number 20 on the worst, or that Brazil was number 19 on the worst.

bizzymum

#17

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Sorry, Halifax, NS.
Canoe???? You are a saucy one, you...

bizzymum

#18

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

I didn't see the whole list, but I am just saying my personal experience. Sorry, he was a right rotten apple.

darkbeaver

#19

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

I am a Nova Scotianian, it's only fair that we offer you a replacement.

mt_pockets1000

#20

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

On the rock we do it with our rubbers on. Can't be too safe, eh.

darkbeaver

#21

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

G'day MT how the hell are you eh?

AnnaG

#22

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by Avro

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:
1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)

WORLD'S BEST LOVERS
1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada

--

I've had no complaints concerning my Canadian-Irishman.

My first gf was awesome at the time, IMO. My redheaded Canuck could have used improvement, but I think that was because she was pretty young. My Canadian-Lebanese gf was wonderful, and my present gf (also a Canuck) is pretty good.

I have to take the abilities of the rest of the countries' people on face-value.

darkbeaver

#23

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

As a retired milkman I can say that I was the love author of much complaining.

mt_pockets1000

#24

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by darkbeaver

G'day MT how the hell are you eh?

Doin' fine DB...thanks for asking. Are the chickens tucked away out of the weather?

karrie

#25

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

lol... how funny...

I'd love to see the corresponding list from the men.

Which nation has smelly women? Lazy hags? Pushy bags? Poorly groomed wives?

Francis2004

#26

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by Dexter Sinister

If they'd interviewed the thousands of women who've been with me, Canada would have ranked #1...

Yes Wilt...

karrie

#27

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 23rd, 2009

Quote: Originally Posted by bizzymum

Sorry, Canada is number 11 on the worst. A lot of talk and not much on the delivery.

lol... I'll give you the first point... being 11th worst in a list of 20 isn't exactly pride worthy.

But... sex is a two way street. Where the men fail, it's because the women do too. Imagine what Spanish or Brazilian men would say about Canadian women in bed! lol.

Blackleaf

#28

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 24th, 2009

Englishmen men make the world's best lovers. They have the world's best sense of humour - which is what women like - and, unlike Americans, aren't too formal when it comes to romancing (all that opening a car door to let the woman in first, or standing up when she enters the room, is just daft. Just take her out on a pub crawl a force thirty pints down her neck and you'll be sorted).

German men make the world's worst lovers probably because saying "I love you" in German sounds like a member of the Gestapo barking out orders.

Scottish men are bad because it'll take the biggest miracle since Jesus fed the 5000 for a woman to persuade him to part with his money to buy her a gift. And Welsh men would make bad lovers because a woman, taking her Welsh lover round to her place, would have to keep her beady eye on him to make sure he doesn't steal anything.

Johnnny

#29

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 24th, 2009

you talking from experience blackleaf?

Blackleaf

#30

Re: German men are 'world's worst lovers' with English men in second place

Dec 24th, 2009

I've got lots of experience when it comes to pulling birds in pubs. And English girls don't like all that faffing about with formality. This is the "ladette" generation. If you meet one at a bar and buy them a couple of Barcardi Breezers you'll be as likely to score as Didier Drogba.

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