Breast-Feeding Past Infancy: 'I'm Comforting Him'
A Mom Talks About Her Decision to Continue Breast-Feeding Her Older Children
By GWEN GOWEN
Jan. 2, 2009
Robyn Paul, her husband and their three children look like the classic American family -- until you find out that Tiernan, their kindergartner, is still breast-feeding.
Women talk about their decision to breastfeed their children past infancy.
Many people are shocked by the idea of nursing a child who is nearly 6 years old, but Paul remains determined to do what she says is best for her child.
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"In this culture, breasts are viewed as sexual," Paul said. "We use breasts to sell everything from beer to motorcycles, then a toddler is in mom's arms nursing for what they're supposed to be used for and everybody freaks out."
No one is sure how many women in the United States are breast-feeding older children, but Paul said she suspects the number is higher than you might think. Most won't admit it, she said, because of the stigma.
"There are those women that do nurse that keep it under wraps because they're afraid of what others are going to say about it," she said.
WATCH: Extreme Breastfeeding: When to Stop?
Paul said she usually breast-feeds Tiernan at home when he needs comforting.
"They're running around and playing," she said. "Once they get beyond 3 years old they're not nursing but a couple of times a day."
Although some might consider a pacifier a more socially acceptable way to comfort their child, Paul said she would prefer that her child receive comfort at her breast.
When Tiernan needs comforting, he will ask his mother for "nummies," his word for breast-feeding, Paul said. "We've had conversations about what it tastes like and he says it's very sweet," like vanilla ice cream, Paul said.
She is happy with the choice she made, she said, but she would never force it on somebody else.
"All I'm trying to do is let people know that it does happen, that it is perfectly normal," she said.
How Old Is Too Old?
She has a point. The average age of weaning around the world is 4 years old and there are no studies saying it is harmful. But child psychologist Will Braun said he isn't so sure and he wonders whether it's appropriate from a developmental standpoint.
"I think a child really needs to learn to develop the capacity to soothe oneself, the capacity to tolerate frustration," he said. "When a child is constantly given a breast, it might thwart that from happening."