Is that a turtle in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

SLM

The Velvet Hammer
Mar 5, 2011
29,151
3
36
London, Ontario
Canadian man caught with 51 live turtles in his pants at U.S. border


In this file photo, a box turtle pauses on a path at Wildwood Lake Sanctuary in Harrisburg, Pa., Saturday, May 2, 2009. (AP / Carolyn Kaster)

Colin Perkel, The Canadian Press
Published Thursday, September 25, 2014 5:39PM EDT
TORONTO -- A Canadian who was caught at the border with 51 live turtles stuffed down his pants is facing charges in the U.S. over an alleged reptile smuggling operation, recently unsealed court documents show.
The U.S. federal court documents show officers with the Canada Border Services Agency intercepted Kai Xu as he attempted to cross into Windsor, Ont., from Detroit last month.
"During the secondary inspection, Xu was found to have 51 live turtles tapped to his person," Kenneth Adams, a special agent with U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, stated in an affidavit outlining the criminal complaint.
"Specifically, Xu had 41 turtles tapped to his legs and 10 hidden between his legs."
Canadian authorities seized the turtles, which included North American varieties such as eastern box turtles, red-eared sliders and diamondback terrapins -- some of which sell for $800 each -- and turned them over to American officials.
While the interception occurred in August, details were only made public after Xu and a second Canadian, Lihua Lin, 30, of the Toronto area, were arrested and charged in U.S. district court this week following an investigation by the Fish and Wildlife Service.
Xu, 26, and Lin appeared in federal court in Detroit on Thursday charged with smuggling, illegal trading and exporting. They could face up to 10 years in prison if convicted.
In a separate criminal complaint against Xu's co-accused filed with the court, Special Agent Matthew Martin described how wildlife officials witnessed "known reptile smuggler" Xu pick up several boxes of live turtles in Novi, northwest of Detroit, on Tuesday.
He drove them to a hotel near the Detroit international airport, where he placed the reptiles in a room he had booked for two nights. He later met up with Lin at the hotel.
On Wednesday, Xu dropped Lin off at the airport bound for Shanghai, China. Lin checked in two pieces of luggage and a search turned up more than 200 North American pond turtles. Lin was arrested after saying he had nothing to declare.
None of the allegations has been proven in court and the accused have not offered a defence.
The turtles are apparently prized as food or pets in China.
In his detailed complaint, Adams described how his agency had received a tip Aug. 5 from a courier company in Detroit about a parcel addressed to Xu that was awaiting pickup.
The brown box, which had been shipped from Alabama, weighed about three kilograms and had no air holes but carried the notation "Live fish -- keep cool."
On the same day, U.S. border agents notified the fish and wildlife agency that Xu had crossed into Detroit from Windsor in an SUV.
Adams and other agents then staked out the courier depot, where Xu arrived to pick up the brown parcel.
Xu then apparently opened various boxes in the rear of the SUV, took out several round clear plastic containers, and placed their contents into plastic baggies. He was also seen with packaging tape and scissors.
"Xu turned towards me as he looked around the parking lot," Adams states.
"As he did so, Special Agent (James) Fuller noticed irregularly shaped bulges under Xu's sweatpants on both his legs."
Xu then drove toward Windsor, where he was stopped.
He is due to appear in bail court in Detroit on Friday, said Gina Balaya, a spokeswoman with the U.S. attorney's office.


WTF? US turtles aren't good enough for him? I mean, a turtle can pretty much cross the border anytime it wants. It will take them a really long time, but they can do it.
 

Twila

Nanah Potato
Mar 26, 2003
14,698
73
48
Those turtles are incredibly lucky. They could well have wound up ground up inside a pill and labelled as a natural viagra.
 

CDNBear

Custom Troll
Sep 24, 2006
43,839
207
63
Ontario
I think the Tribal cops at Wahta busted him with turtles a couple years ago. His name sounds very familiar.
 

CDNBear

Custom Troll
Sep 24, 2006
43,839
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Ontario
Those turtles are incredibly lucky. They could well have wound up ground up inside a pill and labelled as a natural viagra.
Or even better, boiled into broth and showered in wild onion, colts foot, and jerusalem artichokes. Dammit, now I'm hungry.
 

SLM

The Velvet Hammer
Mar 5, 2011
29,151
3
36
London, Ontario
I think the Tribal cops at Wahta busted him with turtles a couple years ago. His name sounds very familiar.

Xu could be like Smith in Chinese though, ya never know, lol. Of course the turtles taped to the groin thing probably stands out.
 

Twila

Nanah Potato
Mar 26, 2003
14,698
73
48
Or even better, boiled into broth and showered in wild onion, colts foot, and jerusalem artichokes. Dammit, now I'm hungry.

Well...you should contact Xu's ...or just go to the local petstore.

Lucky? They won't be getting a ticket home.

They'll be put up for adoption... and a nice little girl with pigtails and ribbons will adopt them all.....and they will live on a farm and have free reign to play with the other animals...My myth and I'm gonna believe it.
 

SLM

The Velvet Hammer
Mar 5, 2011
29,151
3
36
London, Ontario
They'll be put up for adoption... and a nice little girl with pigtails and ribbons will adopt them all.....and they will live on a farm and have free reign to play with the other animals...

Ah yes, the famed 'turtle farm', where all pet turtles go when they get old...or attempt to cross the street....or get within 20 feet of Bear. :D
 

CDNBear

Custom Troll
Sep 24, 2006
43,839
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Ontario
What? Turtles are yummy! I made snapping turtle stew this summer. The braver of the crew tried it and thought it was pretty good.
 

SLM

The Velvet Hammer
Mar 5, 2011
29,151
3
36
London, Ontario
What? Turtles are yummy! I made snapping turtle stew this summer. The braver of the crew tried it and thought it was pretty good.

I would eat it in a heartbeat, the meat, I just don't think I could handle cooking them, in their tiny little shells.....don't know why, turtles is just cool, lol.
 

CDNBear

Custom Troll
Sep 24, 2006
43,839
207
63
Ontario
Ya well, Michael Angelo roasted up nice, then had 4lbs of meat pulled from his not so tiny shell.

His karate was no match for my cooking kung fu.