Court to decide fate of girls switched at birth

[SLM]

Court to decide fate of girls switched at birth

Joe Brock, Reuters

May 28, 2014 , Last Updated: 10:50 AM ET

JOHANNESBURG - A South African court will rule on the future of two four-year-old girls who were accidentally switched the day they were born and have been raised by each other's biological mother, officials involved in the case said on Wednesday.
One of the mothers wants to get her biological daughter back, while the other prefers to keep the girl she has raised.
The babies were born on the same day in 2010 at the Tambo Memorial Hospital in Johannesburg but ended up being taken home by the wrong mother, the hospital confirmed, without giving an explanation for the accident.
The families were unaware of the mix-up until one of the mothers underwent tests when her ex-husband refused to pay child support because he believed he was not the father.
"They did a paternity test and it was established that neither party was the parent of the child. They went back to the hospital and it was confirmed they had been swapped at birth," Henk Strydom, the lawyer of one of the mothers, told Reuters.
"She was absolutely devastated. She was traumatized," Strydom added. "My client wants her baby back. She is the biological mother of the child."
But the other mother in the case does not want to exchange the girls, leaving the North Gauteng High Court to decide if the children should be returned to their biological mothers. The names of those involved cannot be published for legal reasons.
The mothers met each other and their biological daughters last year and have been attending joint therapy sessions arranged by the hospital since December.
The court has asked the University of Pretoria's Centre for Child Law to investigate what would be in the best interests of the children and report back to the judge in 90 days.
"We have been authorized to investigate the matter and to give our report and recommendations. It will be up to the court to make the final decision," a spokeswoman at the centre said.
Strydom compared the case with a story in the Hebrew Bible when King Solomon unveils the truth after two women claim to be the mother of a child.
"Someone has to make a very difficult decision. It really is a situation on a biblical scale," Strydom said.

Court to decide fate of girls switched at birth

I don't understand how someone could love and raise a child for four years then want to swap them back just because of biology. I get "wanting" your biological child, to at least be a part of his or her life, that would be something instinctual. But to give up a baby you've cared for as your own? How can anyone do that?

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

"Bring my sword."
--Solomon

 

[Twila]

I don't understand how someone could love and raise a child for four years then want to swap them back just because of biology. I get "wanting" your biological child, to at least be a part of his or her life, that would be something instinctual. But to give up a baby you've cared for as your own? How can anyone do that?

Maybe what she's feeling isn't maternal instinct but possession?

 

[SLM]

Maybe what she's feeling isn't maternal instinct but possession?

Maybe, I don't know. It's bizarre to me. I tend to feel the same sense of wonder over how a birth parent can give up a child, have that child be happy and healthy in his or her adopted home, then change their mind and "want their baby back". I get regret and wanting your child, but to rip a child out of a happy home to go live with a stranger essentially?

Biology means nothing to kids, they want to be with the parent who tucks them in at night, chases away the boogey man, reads them a bedtime story. I just could never see myself ripping a child of mine out of a happy home no matter how much I might miss them or want them. It's selfish.

 

[Tecumsehsbones]

It's selfish.

I reckon you got the answer to all your questions right there.

 

[SLM]

I reckon you got the answer to all your questions right there.

I know what the answer is but at the same time, I still don't understand it.

I'm a parent, I would have and would still crawl through broken glass for my kids. I know selfish people put themselves first, and let's face it we can all be a little selfish sometimes. But when it comes to your child, I don't understand why not everyone has the same instincts kick in that I had, that many (probably most) people do.

 

[Goober]

I cannot see how one can condemn the mother who wants to raise her biological child. I do not for an instant think she has no love for the child she raised.
And the same would apply to the mother, who wants to raise the child she was given at birth.
What a horrible decision to have to make. My heart goes out to both.
This is a deeply personal decision. And both will be condemned for whatever decision they make.

 

[Sal]

I don't understand how someone could love and raise a child for four years then want to swap them back just because of biology. I get "wanting" your biological child, to at least be a part of his or her life, that would be something instinctual. But to give up a baby you've cared for as your own? How can anyone do that?

agreed.... maybe that one doesn't deserve either

 

[Goober]

I know what the answer is but at the same time, I still don't understand it.

I'm a parent, I would have and would still crawl through broken glass for my kids. I know selfish people put themselves first, and let's face it we can all be a little selfish sometimes. But when it comes to your child, I don't understand why not everyone has the same instincts kick in that I had, that many (probably most) people do.

Parents would/should do that. Regardless it is a deeply personal decision that I do not think was made quickly by either parent.

 

[Twila]

I cannot see how one can condemn the mother who wants to raise her biological child. I do not for an instant think she has no love for the child she raised.
And the same would apply to the mother, who wants to raise the child she was given at birth.
What a horrible decision to have to make. My heart goes out to both.
This is a deeply personal decision. And both will be condemned for whatever decision they make.

Good point.

This would be the hardest decision / thing to face. I think they`ll have to become a bigger family that might live far apart. I wouldn`t be able to give up the child I`d loved and raised.

 

[damngrumpy]

What a mess how long ago did the hospital know about this? This is where the problem is
What is going on now is everyone else is living with the aftermath. I can understand the
mother who wants her biological child, I would also hope the same mother would be prepared
to do what is best for the child. Why can't the parents enjoy both children together making the
ultimate sacrifice and tell the kids later when they can understand.
our family has had one of the adoption cases where the child grows up and finds out there is
more family and all is well. The reason they call us adults is because we are supposed to
behave like adults.

 

[Goober]

What a mess how long ago did the hospital know about this? This is where the problem is
What is going on now is everyone else is living with the aftermath. I can understand the
mother who wants her biological child, I would also hope the same mother would be prepared
to do what is best for the child. Why can't the parents enjoy both children together making the
ultimate sacrifice and tell the kids later when they can understand.
our family has had one of the adoption cases where the child grows up and finds out there is
more family and all is well. The reason they call us adults is because we are supposed to
behave like adults.

It is an intensely personal decision. And regardless of what decision the make, they will be condemned by many, not all, just the public at large that rush to conclusions.

 

[Twila]

What a mess how long ago did the hospital know about this? This is where the problem is
What is going on now is everyone else is living with the aftermath. I can understand the
mother who wants her biological child, I would also hope the same mother would be prepared
to do what is best for the child. Why can't the parents enjoy both children together making the
ultimate sacrifice and tell the kids later when they can understand.
our family has had one of the adoption cases where the child grows up and finds out there is
more family and all is well. The reason they call us adults is because we are supposed to
behave like adults.

Well said.

I sort of got a bit hung up on that the mother who wanted her biological child and feeling what the mother who had raised the girl could have felt. Its got to feel threatening.

There are so many sides on this. So many facets.

 

[BaalsTears]

As a father the answer to this matter is very straight forward:

I keep the child with whom I bonded and raised regardless of blood, and I get the child who is the blood of my blood. Problem solved.

 

[Twila]

Problem solved.

Well your part of the problems solved.

 

[Praxius]

I can see both sides of the argument....

On one hand you would want to raise the child you took care of as your own for 4 years of their life, but at the same time, knowing that their real mother is out there and raising your own child as you raise theirs, there is a biological aspect of wanting to "Set Things Right" by letting the daughter you raised go back to her real mother and vice versa.

One way or another, there will be a life long mind'fk both mothers and both daughters will have to live with no matter how they choose.

I would more likely prefer to switch the children back to their biological parents, but keep in very close contact with each other and be a part of each other's lives..... like an aunt or godparent, etc.

Either way:

The families were unaware of the mix-up until one of the mothers underwent tests when her ex-husband refused to pay child support because he believed he was not the father.

"They did a paternity test and it was established that neither party was the parent of the child....."

Jerry Springer would have a field day

 

[BaalsTears]

Well your part of the problems solved.

If my part of the problem is solved the other parents will live in peace. They should accept that as the best outcome they can achieve.

 

[spaminator]

did the divorce happen because the husband thought that the wife was unfaithful?

there was also a similar story that aired on (dateline?) about a husband who divorced his wife because he thought that she was unfaithful and that the baby was not his. the babies were switched at birth. I tried to find the episode with no luck. if anyone can find the episode, post it here.

 

[taxslave]

Leaving this up to a judge will result in the wrong decision regardless of the outcome.

 

[Kreskin]

No matter what happens each family will receive undisclosed 7-digit settlements.