Baron Cohen as Borat - comedy genius
British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen is hilarious when he plays Kazakhstani presenter Borat. Borat first became famous when he made a documentary on England and English customs for the benefit of Kazakhstani TV viewers. He's now just released his first movie.
Baron Cohen's other famous characters are "cool dude" Ali G and a gay, camp Austrian TV presenter called Bruno. But politically-incorrect Borat is his most popular character
Ali G - "Da voice of da youth." "Is it cos I is black?" Baron Cohen as "gangsta rapper Ali G
Baron Cohen as gay Austrian man Bruno. It's hard to believe the Bruno, Ali G and Borat are actually the same person
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The world according to Borat
October 27th 2006
SPOOF reporter Borat is fast becoming an international superstar with the release of his first movie.
The “No2 joonalist” in Kazakhstan, played by Sacha Baron Cohen, has been shocking the world with his toe-curling take on subjects such as women and the US in Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan.
It premiered in the UK on Wednesday and goes on general release next Friday. Here GRANT ROLLINGS reveals the gospel according to Borat - and Kazakhstan's hatred of Uzebekistan.
ON WOMEN
MY wife, she is scared of men with chocolate face.
My wife she is dead . . . she die in a field . . . she die from work, an accident. But is not important, I have a new wife.
In America, women can vote but horse cannot. It is the other way around in my country.
I want meet nice Western girlies for chitchat and sexytime — preference lady with yellow hairs, with plough experience and little or no history of retardation in family. I would like to meet you and make romance inside you.
Why don’t you put wife in cage? They escape if you do not.
This one I have to pay money for, but she worth it! Wawaweewa!”
ON FOOD & DRINK
My favourite foods is toffee. It my ambition one day to eat a delicious hamborger! I am allergy to uncooked falcon.
I like drink vodka and traditional Kazakh wine which make from fermented horse urine.
ON KAZAKHSTAN
In Kazhakstan we have many hobbies: Disco dancing, archery, rape and table tennis.
Kazakhstan is more civilised now. Women can now travel on inside of bus, and homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hat.
America national sport is called baseballs. It very similar to our sport, shurik, where we take dogs, shoot them in a field and then have a party.
ON ENGLAND, which he has studied for one of his documentaries
Every Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp, some like to make the jam, but the most fun is to a kill a little animal with a shotgun or rip them up with wild dog.
ON AMERICA
There are many job opportunities in the US and A. For man, construction worker, taxi driver or accountant. For woman, prostitute.
I was very surprise to learn it is now illegal to shoot at Red Indians. Once again, I would like apologise with all my heart to the staff of the Potawatomi Casino in Kansas. Sorry.
ON HORSES
We have saying in Kazakhstan: “You find me woman with brain, I find you a horse with . . . wings.
ON HIS SISTER
She is number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan.”
ON HIS BROTHER
I have brother. His name is Bilo. He once have a demon that live in his head so we open his head and place a dry fish inside to eat the demon. But the demon become angry and make Bilo a retard. He is sex crazy! All day long in his cage he look on porno!
Picture: REX
ON MASCULINITY
IN Kazakhstan we say man who has never killed a man is like man with no khram.
Jagshemash, do you have a big khram? Can I touch? (Khram is Borat lingo for manhood.)
ON POLITICS
I hope you kill every man, woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards. And may George W Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq. (To a group of Texan rednecks)
We say that to give a woman power is like to give monkeys guns. Very dangerous. We have stopped do this ever since the 2001 Astana Zoo massacre.
Most problems in region is caused by Uzbekistan — who as everyone knows is nosy people with a bone in the middle of their brains.
ON EDUCATION
I was lucky to be from good family, so I stay on after school and do further educations. I study plague research at Astana University and create three new ones!
One of them was sprayed on Uzbekistan and kill two millions goat! Then, after that, when I 13, I leave education and start workings.
ON MADONNA
It was very courageous of MTV to start the show with a genuine transvestite, he was very convincing. It was only his hands and his testi satchels that gave it away.
thesun.co.uk
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