Just wondering if anyone else is as hooked on these 2 tv shows as I am! They are soooooooo hilarious, cant get enough!
Father Ted and Vicar of Dibley
- Thread starter glossprincess
- Start date
RE: Father Ted and Vicar
Father Ted used to be on CBC. Great show, I havent seen it for years though.
"nuns!" - father jack
Father Ted used to be on CBC. Great show, I havent seen it for years though.
"nuns!" - father jack
Father Ted is a British comedy series about 3 vicars who live in an isolated house near a cliff on the Irish coast. There's Father Ted, and living with him is Dougal (who's not very bright) and they live with another priest who's old a decrepit and (being in Ireland and being Catholic) is always drunk and out of his mind, and the only things he ever says are swear words.
The show is hilarious.
The show is hilarious.
Father Ted Quotes.
Father Ted
Dougal, how did you get into the church in the first place? Was it, like, 'collect 12 crisp packets and become a priest'?
Once again Dougal, you've made me look like a complete fool in front of real people. Thanks very much
The Chinese. A great bunch of lads!
I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...
...More drink!
So there he is. Risen from the dead. Like that feller.... E.T.
Two hundred pounds? I'm not trying to buy cocaine!
Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These (pointing to plastic cows on table) are very small; those
(pointing at cows in field ) are far away (but Dougal still fails to understand)...
You know the phrase 'to take care of something'? Well, I realise now that you meant that in a sort of
Al Pacino way. Whereas I was thinking more along the lines of Julie Andrews.
JUST PLAY THE F***ING NOTE!!!
---------------------------------------------
Father Dougal
Sorry Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy.
God, Ted. D'you remember that feller who was so good at fashion they had to shoot him?
I'm no good at judging the size of crowds Ted, but I'd say there's about seventeen million of them out there
It's like a great big tide of jam. But jam made out of... old women.
Those women were in the nip!
As if magic, I can create a big crowd of invisible ducks.
How come all the rocks are different sizes?
A one-word film. There can't be too many of those. Salem's Lot?
C'mere Ted, Ted, Teddy, Ted. God, I love being a priest. We're all going to heaven lads,
wheeeyyyyyy!
Do you believe in God, then Ted?
You're right Ted. I used to be happy enough with me old bike - I used to get a big buzz out of just
going down to the shops on it, you know? But after a while... it just wasn't enough. I started going
for bigger and bigger thrills... But I could give it up! Any time I wanted!
---------------------------------------
Mrs Doyle the tea lady
Pat was just wondering if he could put his massive tool in my box.
I'm so excited. Taking on three bishops all at once. I can't wait.
Oh she writes such filth, Father. It's always "Feck this" and "Feck that" - and sometimes she even
uses the "F" word!
Now come on Father, what would you say to a nice cup of tea?
Oh it's a filthy, dirty business, sex. Can you imagine, Father. Your husband standing over you with
his lad in his hand, wanting you to degrade yourself. I want you to get a good clear picture.
God I've never seen a clock at 5 a.m. before!
http://www.mgnet.karoo.net/FATHER TED/FATHERTEDqoutes.htm
------------------------------------------------------------
You left the cyanide capsules next to the Valium, you old fool. That's just asking for trouble!
Father Fitzpatrick
FLOOR! COR-TAINS! GOBSHITE!
Father Jack
It's nice to have a nun around. Gives the place a bit of glamour.
Father Ted
So then. You're a nun?
Father Ted
And now on BBC1: Jurassic Park. The Director's Cut. With extra dinosaurs.
Father Ted
Jack: (after sobering up [[which is rare]]) YOU! YOU! YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
Ted: That's a spoon, Father
Dougal: God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all.
Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.
Dougal: Oh right.
Ted: What was it [Jack] used to say about the needy? He had a term for them.
Dougal: A shower of bastards.
Won't you have some cake, Father? It's got cocaine in it. Oh no, hang on, it's not cocaine, is it. What do I mean now? - the little things... Raisins!
Mrs Doyle
http://hem.passagen.se/linus.thand/stuff/quotes.html?k#father
A big difference between British and American comedy is that American comedy is "cleaner." You hardly ever hear anyone swear or being rude in Friends or Frasier as you do in British comedies, and the actors in American comedies are always clean-cut with pearly white teeth and are quite rich. Half the stuff on British comedies would never get shown on US TV.
Father Ted
Dougal, how did you get into the church in the first place? Was it, like, 'collect 12 crisp packets and become a priest'?
Once again Dougal, you've made me look like a complete fool in front of real people. Thanks very much
The Chinese. A great bunch of lads!
I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...
...More drink!
So there he is. Risen from the dead. Like that feller.... E.T.
Two hundred pounds? I'm not trying to buy cocaine!
Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These (pointing to plastic cows on table) are very small; those
(pointing at cows in field ) are far away (but Dougal still fails to understand)...
You know the phrase 'to take care of something'? Well, I realise now that you meant that in a sort of
Al Pacino way. Whereas I was thinking more along the lines of Julie Andrews.
JUST PLAY THE F***ING NOTE!!!
---------------------------------------------
Father Dougal
Sorry Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy.
God, Ted. D'you remember that feller who was so good at fashion they had to shoot him?
I'm no good at judging the size of crowds Ted, but I'd say there's about seventeen million of them out there
It's like a great big tide of jam. But jam made out of... old women.
Those women were in the nip!
As if magic, I can create a big crowd of invisible ducks.
How come all the rocks are different sizes?
A one-word film. There can't be too many of those. Salem's Lot?
C'mere Ted, Ted, Teddy, Ted. God, I love being a priest. We're all going to heaven lads,
wheeeyyyyyy!
Do you believe in God, then Ted?
You're right Ted. I used to be happy enough with me old bike - I used to get a big buzz out of just
going down to the shops on it, you know? But after a while... it just wasn't enough. I started going
for bigger and bigger thrills... But I could give it up! Any time I wanted!
---------------------------------------
Mrs Doyle the tea lady
Pat was just wondering if he could put his massive tool in my box.
I'm so excited. Taking on three bishops all at once. I can't wait.
Oh she writes such filth, Father. It's always "Feck this" and "Feck that" - and sometimes she even
uses the "F" word!
Now come on Father, what would you say to a nice cup of tea?
Oh it's a filthy, dirty business, sex. Can you imagine, Father. Your husband standing over you with
his lad in his hand, wanting you to degrade yourself. I want you to get a good clear picture.
God I've never seen a clock at 5 a.m. before!
http://www.mgnet.karoo.net/FATHER TED/FATHERTEDqoutes.htm
------------------------------------------------------------
You left the cyanide capsules next to the Valium, you old fool. That's just asking for trouble!
Father Fitzpatrick
FLOOR! COR-TAINS! GOBSHITE!
Father Jack
It's nice to have a nun around. Gives the place a bit of glamour.
Father Ted
So then. You're a nun?
Father Ted
And now on BBC1: Jurassic Park. The Director's Cut. With extra dinosaurs.
Father Ted
Jack: (after sobering up [[which is rare]]) YOU! YOU! YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
Ted: That's a spoon, Father
Dougal: God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all.
Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.
Dougal: Oh right.
Ted: What was it [Jack] used to say about the needy? He had a term for them.
Dougal: A shower of bastards.
Won't you have some cake, Father? It's got cocaine in it. Oh no, hang on, it's not cocaine, is it. What do I mean now? - the little things... Raisins!
Mrs Doyle
http://hem.passagen.se/linus.thand/stuff/quotes.html?k#father
A big difference between British and American comedy is that American comedy is "cleaner." You hardly ever hear anyone swear or being rude in Friends or Frasier as you do in British comedies, and the actors in American comedies are always clean-cut with pearly white teeth and are quite rich. Half the stuff on British comedies would never get shown on US TV.
I love the Father Ted shows - Havent seen the other one yet. But Father Ted is on DVD now so Im going to get it.. I am such a sucker for the Irish accents too...
I agree with you 100% Backleaf! Americans can be so ahead of the rest of the world in so many different ways and soo behind in others! Our sense of humour is similar to the British so we LOVE your shows and some of ours are like that too.
Lots of tourists get a big shock at some of the language used here. Like I was watching an interview with some celebrity on 'Sunrise', our morning news program and the presenter goes, 'you play quite a bitchy character, dont you?' and the actress looked shocked!! She couldnt believe he'd said that on live, national tv!
But back to Father Ted, I remember most of those quotes and theyre all hilarious!
Lots of tourists get a big shock at some of the language used here. Like I was watching an interview with some celebrity on 'Sunrise', our morning news program and the presenter goes, 'you play quite a bitchy character, dont you?' and the actress looked shocked!! She couldnt believe he'd said that on live, national tv!
But back to Father Ted, I remember most of those quotes and theyre all hilarious!