Jesus Christ denied nomination

[Paranoid Dot Calm]

Jesus Christ denied nomination
President withdraws controversial Home Land Security nominee

President Bush withdrew his nomination of Jesus Christ as Home Land Security Chief this morning.

In a short press conference, he said “No one disputes Mr. Christ’s qualifications; he is the Son of God. But in his biographies--and there are at least four, written by close friends--he clearly advocates a radical lifestyle that I cannot support.”

Asked whether he should have known about these disqualifications before nominating the controversial preacher, the President said, “I wish that I had read these books before nominating him.”

 

[peapod]

:lol: Hey calm did you check out that website I sent you? Great songs eh? :wink:

 

[Andem]

LMAO, that's a good one Paranoid. We can always leave it upto you to find the most interestings stuff on the Internet

 

[Rick van Opbergen]

I wouldn't be surprised somehow if this proved to be real.

 

[Paranoid Dot Calm]

Kerik: Bin Laden Was My Gardener
By Andy Borowitz
December 11, 2004

Nominee Withdraws Over Memory Goof

Former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik withdrew his name from
consideration for the post of Homeland Security Secretary after admitting that
he employed al-Qaeda terror kingpin Osama bin Laden as a gardener during the
late 1980's.

Speaking in Washington, Mr. Kerik said he regretted not remembering earlier
that Mr. bin Laden had been in his employ, calling the memory lapse "a stupid
mistake."

"When the president asked me if there was anything in my past that might
disqualify me for the Homeland Security job, I've got to admit that I drew a
blank," Mr. Kerik said. "I didn't even think of the three years that Osama bin
Laden was my gardener."

Mr. Kerik's bombshell caused shockwaves throughout official Washington, with
many administration figures wondering how an international terror mastermind
came to work for the former police commissioner in the first place.

"The Osama bin Laden I knew was not an evil madman," Mr. Kerik said. "Back
then, he was just a guy who was good with hedges."

But hours after Mr. Kerik's announcement, Mr. bin Laden appeared on the
Arabic-language al-Jazeera network to say that he was "hurt" that Mr. Kerik had
forgotten about the years he spent tending the police commissioner's flower
beds.

"After all of the pruning, raking and mowing I did for Bernard Kerik, this is a
real slap in the face," Mr. bin Laden said. "And people wonder why I'm so mad
all the time."

Elsewhere, President Bush voiced support for U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan,
warning that a new head of the U.N. would mean "a whole other name I'd have to
learn to pronounce."

 

[sj007]

funny mabe u should but these in the humor forum so u dont confuse 2 many ppl