child abuse....
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Watch how the kid plays. If dolly gets smacked around and called names or toy cars get crashed into each other, chances are the kid knows violence.
It would depend what made me suspect.
If it's a bruised and limping kid, I'd probably watch closely for something more definitive, especially since my one kid has broken a bone before, neighbors have broken bones here playing, and I'm sure more bones will be broken and bruises earned through earnest play in the future.
Now, if it's yelling... that I might treat differently. I'm that neighbor who snaps every so often and can be heard hollering at her kids. It's a sign that someone's on a slippery slope, and would probably warrant inviting the neighbor over for a coffee, chatting about parenting, seeing how they're doing. And possibly a call to social services to ask their view.
I have to say, having gone through a parenting course through social services, having known some of their workers, having seen a lot of the foster system, I know now how oriented the Canadian system is to fixing problems before they're major problems. Their biggest struggle is getting people to realize it, and get in BEFORE they beat. If one of my neighbors called social services because of my yelling, or because my kids were always bruised, I'd probably be initially mortified, but, I'm not going to fault anyone for watching out for my kids and trying to get me some help.
If it's a bruised and limping kid, I'd probably watch closely for something more definitive, especially since my one kid has broken a bone before, neighbors have broken bones here playing, and I'm sure more bones will be broken and bruises earned through earnest play in the future.
Now, if it's yelling... that I might treat differently. I'm that neighbor who snaps every so often and can be heard hollering at her kids. It's a sign that someone's on a slippery slope, and would probably warrant inviting the neighbor over for a coffee, chatting about parenting, seeing how they're doing. And possibly a call to social services to ask their view.
I have to say, having gone through a parenting course through social services, having known some of their workers, having seen a lot of the foster system, I know now how oriented the Canadian system is to fixing problems before they're major problems. Their biggest struggle is getting people to realize it, and get in BEFORE they beat. If one of my neighbors called social services because of my yelling, or because my kids were always bruised, I'd probably be initially mortified, but, I'm not going to fault anyone for watching out for my kids and trying to get me some help.
I'm assuming if you suspect your neighbors of child abuse something has led you to that suspicion. If you're basing your suspicions on specific instances you've witnessed or on behaviours that are clearly red flags, it's a responsibility to report them.
One thing people need to realize about reporting someone is that if the ensuing investigation reveals no cause for concern, there is no incriminating record left on that family's file with Children's Services. I believe the most it will say is that a report was filed and the case was unsubstantiated and/or closed.
Even then, any info on file is protected in Canada under the FOIP act - the only time it would be released is with the individual's personal authorization to release that info under circumstances where they might be needing a criminal record / vulnerable sector record check done for employment or other circumstances where they will be working with or in some way responsible for the care of minors or other vulnerable persons.
I found a great link to a pdf that offers some pretty basic but important info - including specific signs of abuse:
Protocols for Handling Child Abuse (Alberta Childrens Services)
.....of particular interest to those who think they should just keep quiet and mind their own business:
What do you do????????
For years I was the victim of all forms of physical and emotional abuse. I was beaten so badly by my "mother" that I couldn't sit down on the little chairs provided in grade 1 at little tables where kids sat.....
Every teacher every police officer (there were many that streamed through the house because my "father" was a drunken lout who beat my mother and me regularly) every doctor every minister I even met for my entire life until I was thirteen saw the bruises and noted the limp....
And did nothing.
What do you do?????????
For years I was the victim of all forms of physical and emotional abuse. I was beaten so badly by my "mother" that I couldn't sit down on the little chairs provided in grade 1 at little tables where kids sat.....
Every teacher every police officer (there were many that streamed through the house because my "father" was a drunken lout who beat my mother and me regularly) every doctor every minister I even met for my entire life until I was thirteen saw the bruises and noted the limp....
And did nothing.
What do you do?????????
For a lot of us born before the Trudeau years, it's more the norm than the exception. There simply wasn't any place to turn to. The family was sacred and nobody would move to break one up. Now, you have Childrens Aid Societies who prefer to go after the easy ones who won't fight them in Court. That means habituals who know the system well continue to move from town to town and whack the family around.
I'm sorry Wolfe, but I think I have to disagree with your statement that Childrens' Services "prefer to go after the easy ones who won't fight them in Court".
I don't believe that's true - Childrens' Services are legally bound to investigate every single report they receive - their mandate is the protection of children - first and foremost. They don't 'prefer' to go after any particular type of parent, and if they do actually intervene, it's because there's reason to do so.
I know you're correct that some families know how to play the system and do fall between the cracks, but for the most part if the evidence exists to keep children out of neglectful or abusive care, that's what will happen.
From what I've seen, the abuse also has to be pretty astounding and constant for them to remove the kids completely. Counseling and courses seem to be the preferred options. But I could be wrong. That may just be because the cases I've seen were extremely 'mild', if you can call abuse that ever.
Yes Karrie - you're right - the ultimate goal of any intervention is to heal the family and keep the family together if at all possible. Ask any social worker what their worst day on the job might be, and apart from dealing with death of children, the next worst is almost always going to be the day they have to clutch a court order in their hand and apprehend a child from his or her home. Talk about traumatic.. for absolutely everyone involved.
Sometimes they have to take the kids for an interim period of time if the concern is grave enough to warrant a temporary apprehension, but even then the goal is to return them to familial care asap if it can be arranged . Permanent apprehension is always a last resort. Always always always. And even then, it's rarely 'permanent'. The court will usually provide the parents with a significant array of resources to help them address their abusive issues. Once that step is accomplished, they'll keep supports available and in place while they integrate the kids back into the custody of their parents.
Does it always work? Sadly, no it doesn't. These situations are often chronic,systemic and generational. Overcoming them isn't going to happen in a single leap .
Sometimes they have to take the kids for an interim period of time if the concern is grave enough to warrant a temporary apprehension, but even then the goal is to return them to familial care asap if it can be arranged . Permanent apprehension is always a last resort. Always always always. And even then, it's rarely 'permanent'. The court will usually provide the parents with a significant array of resources to help them address their abusive issues. Once that step is accomplished, they'll keep supports available and in place while they integrate the kids back into the custody of their parents.
Does it always work? Sadly, no it doesn't. These situations are often chronic,systemic and generational. Overcoming them isn't going to happen in a single leap .
My in-laws did a lot of fostering. And the temporary removals were the children they fostered. Gave them a safe, stable place until their parents had met court criteria, and the kids were sent back. They had a hard time with it, because it was often the same kids, and the same situations, over and over. But, there were the few where it was the kick in the pants needed.
I did make a blanket statement that really isn't fair to a dedicated service and I will apologize to them.
Sadly, there are some agencies to whom care is not so much calling as job. Too often, the fear of legal repercussions will leave a child in an abusive situation. What happens is while the Aid is investigating, the family does another midnight move into another jurisdiction. I believe all the various CAS organizations should be able to share information and they should be exempt from litigation - except where the power has been abused.
People's responses to my example were predicatable but the reason I pointed this out is because people need to understand that child abuse has been around for a long time. As a youngster things like abuse whether child or spousal was ever ever talked about! Drunken behavior was discretely hush hush and individual proclivities to what some might judge as "deviant behaviour" abounded but was shared only secretively in whispers.
Times change.
Times change.
indeed they do.
And it's suprising how much an open handed punch can hurt so much yet not leave a bruse.
And it's suprising how much an open handed punch can hurt so much yet not leave a bruse.
I'm a mandatory reporter. I call social services if I suspect abuse. I've done it with my coworkers more than once unfortunately. Usually abuse where I work is more neglect oriented (mom can't take care of kids when she's high 90% of the time).
bring back "child abuse" I say.
Ahhh the good ol' days...where kids were taught to have respect, for people and property.
watch a lioness with her cubs or a bitch with her pups or pretty much any other animal with young and invariable they will rouse on them, make them yelp or whatever....its the way to show them their boundaries. That option was taken away from humans by church groups/bleeding heart groups (who've never abused a child) etc in favour of mind altering drugs.
add/adhd was concocted to label these children that have no idea what their boundaries are...despite there being no scientific evidence at all that add/adhd exists.
millions of dollars in taxes is spent trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with todays kids, when all that was needed was some chastising at an early age. Gone are the days when the local copper gave you a kick up the arse and took you home...today you likely to be killed with a taser instead.
Yes some parents do go too far.....I had a broom handle broken over my back, regular hidings(beatings in todays terms). I'm in my 50s, I still open the door for women, never been in trouble with the law, have respect for my elders, I know right from wrong, held down the same job for over 26 yrs.............. didnt do me any harm...yet a lot of todays youths will be lucky to see 50.
Ahhh the good ol' days...where kids were taught to have respect, for people and property.
watch a lioness with her cubs or a bitch with her pups or pretty much any other animal with young and invariable they will rouse on them, make them yelp or whatever....its the way to show them their boundaries. That option was taken away from humans by church groups/bleeding heart groups (who've never abused a child) etc in favour of mind altering drugs.
add/adhd was concocted to label these children that have no idea what their boundaries are...despite there being no scientific evidence at all that add/adhd exists.
millions of dollars in taxes is spent trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with todays kids, when all that was needed was some chastising at an early age. Gone are the days when the local copper gave you a kick up the arse and took you home...today you likely to be killed with a taser instead.
Yes some parents do go too far.....I had a broom handle broken over my back, regular hidings(beatings in todays terms). I'm in my 50s, I still open the door for women, never been in trouble with the law, have respect for my elders, I know right from wrong, held down the same job for over 26 yrs.............. didnt do me any harm...yet a lot of todays youths will be lucky to see 50.
So, you'd need proof about a kid but not an animal? You wrote this right?
you witness your neighbours constantly abusing their pet.
...i'd report them
Read it again....on one he says "suspect" on the other he says "witness"...you do know the difference right?
