More single women than men?


karrie
#31
Quote: Originally Posted by Minority Observer84View Post

Ah to me there are nothing but negatives . As you might already be able to tell I'am not very sentimental or nurturing . I think it;s more of an outlook thing than it is a age thing . I don't like kids they are rude , noisy , curious , self centered and most annoying of all unpredictable .I don't like other people's kids I'am pretty sure if I had any I wouldn't like them either it seems to me to be a lot of work and effort put into something to get nothing . I attribute the high incidence of child birth to social pressure , tradition and love a feeling I really cannot understand .

Plenty of moms I know felt that way too, and set aside social pressures by refusing to have kids. Then they found out about the biological pressures. Most are panicking to have kids by the time they're 30. The neat thing is, while you can get annoyed and frustrated and hate all irritation that comes with other people's kids, you can love your own with a ferocity you'd have to see to believe.

The added bonus, is getting to add to the mix a kid/kids who are brought up the way you agree with.
 
Minority Observer84
#32
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

dogs and children cannot be compared. There are many people who absolutely adore having children but wouldn't ever have a dog.

Yeah I tried cat's turtles and plants (All Given to me by women I was dating for some bizzare reason) I know a child and pet cannot be compared I'am just saying that a lot of extra work is involved in having either and isn't life stressful enough already ?
 
SwitSof
#33
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

You've mentioned all the negative sides of having children, and yes, i'm very aware of them. It scares me a lot to be the one who an entire family are dependant on for an income. The responsibility scares me too.

That can be discussed between you two ay.
If it became necessary financially especially for both of the couple to work, I would reckon it's only fair for the wife to earn for the family too.
I saw the lifestyle of the expats' (I meant real expats) wives who were not working and were just housewives. They dined in the country club or some place of the sort, shopped branded stuff and met similar women only to gossip about who just bought a new car bla bla bla, geez. I was thinking they did this while the husbands worked hard till late at night (not that all didn't enjoy that though...) to have the money spent by the wives.

Quote:

I can't wait to get to know it, even if it pukes and ****s on me and makes me poor.

Of course! It's part of you after all!
 
SwitSof
#34
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

There are many people who absolutely adore having children but wouldn't ever have a dog.

Probably that'd be me. Dogs can bite and scratch you out of the blue!
 
Minority Observer84
#35
Quote: Originally Posted by SwitSofView Post

Well, I suppose there are women who are also rather adventurous. If you don't mind not getting the exclusivity meaning that say she can compare you to the other and that's probably done unconsciously

I'am pretty insecure but the way I see it if she feels she can do better elsewhere who really cares .I've dated tons of women and I have to admit most of them I didn't really care very much about i just thought they looked prutty.

Quote: Originally Posted by SwitSofView Post

I agreed with Hermann, it's more of out of consideration. I even tell my flatmate if I weren't going to be home that night either cause I was clubbing the whole night or staying in a friend's place without planning it just so that the flatmate wouldn't be worried and call the police!

I don't check in with anyone , personal privacy is very important to me .

Quote: Originally Posted by SwitSofView Post

Well, if you don't want to have children, there are also women who don't like the idea to bear a child either. My mum said having me to be born naturally was rather painful for her, so since then she demanded the drugs!

I can only imagine all our moms went through a lot of pain to bear us in an odd sort of way i kinda feel guilty about it

Quote: Originally Posted by SwitSofView Post

Well maybe you can call it the desire to leave a legacy or just more of a biological instinct to continue the human race or simply just to have a family besides the partner

As for the idea of legacy it seems pretty pretentious to me . Really when i'am gone I'am gone and I'am ok with that I have no desire to leave anything behind me but possibly debt .
These are all personal opinions mind you . I'am only trying to understand why people choose to have kids when it seems like a lot of work and pressure to me and why people who are in love(whatever that is ) choose to get married . As for biological nature there is nothing natural about monogamy for the vast majority of animals their mate changes every year , seems a lot more interesting to me .
 
hermanntrude
#36
Quote: Originally Posted by SwitSofView Post

That can be discussed between you two ay.
If it became necessary financially especially for both of the couple to work, I would reckon it's only fair for the wife to earn for the family too.
I saw the lifestyle of the expats' (I meant real expats) wives who were not working and were just housewives. They dined in the country club or some place of the sort, shopped branded stuff and met similar women only to gossip about who just bought a new car bla bla bla, geez. I was thinking they did this while the husbands worked hard till late at night (not that all didn't enjoy that though...) to have the money spent by the wives.


Of course! It's part of you after all!

You just made a GIANT bunch of assumptions. You couldn't be more wrong. Me and my wife have 4 degrees between us, and both plan to work. But it's understandable that a woman would like to take as long as possible to raise her child when it's very young.
 
hermanntrude
#37
Quote: Originally Posted by SwitSofView Post

Probably that'd be me. Dogs can bite and scratch you out of the blue!

so can children
 
hermanntrude
#38
Quote: Originally Posted by Minority Observer84View Post

I'am pretty insecure but the way I see it if she feels she can do better elsewhere who really cares .I've dated tons of women and I have to admit most of them I didn't really care very much about i just thought they looked prutty.


I don't check in with anyone , personal privacy is very important to me .


I can only imagine all our moms went through a lot of pain to bear us in an odd sort of way i kinda feel guilty about it


As for the idea of legacy it seems pretty pretentious to me . Really when i'am gone I'am gone and I'am ok with that I have no desire to leave anything behind me but possibly debt .
These are all personal opinions mind you . I'am only trying to understand why people choose to have kids when it seems like a lot of work and pressure to me and why people who are in love(whatever that is ) choose to get married . As for biological nature there is nothing natural about monogamy for the vast majority of animals their mate changes every year , seems a lot more interesting to me .

these answers make it reasonably clear to me why you don't think much of love. You simply can't understand it. You're selfish, and lack empathy. I mean no offence by this observation, but it's the truth.
 
SwitSof
#39
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

so can children

Not to the point it can disfigure you though...
 
hermanntrude
#40
depends how old the child is and how angry it is.
 
Minority Observer84
#41
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

so can children

Like I said unpredictable granted I've never had a child bite me , but just last weekend while I was jogging at the park some kid threw a squishy at a bird (right out of the blue it was half full one minute he's sipping happily the next he's chucking it ) it missed the bird and stained my new shorts . I tell you that kid is lucky his mom is so hot .
 
SwitSof
#42
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

You just made a GIANT bunch of assumptions. You couldn't be more wrong. Me and my wife have 4 degrees between us, and both plan to work. But it's understandable that a woman would like to take as long as possible to raise her child when it's very young.

Sorry about that, sincere apologies. That is understandable too, I wasn't thinking that is a bigger possibility.
Probably since I heard another ex-colleague who doesn't like working anymore wouldn't mind to be married on an arranged marriage in Japan, which just gave me a chuckle to hear that, since she doesn't like house chores either!
 
Minority Observer84
#43
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

these answers make it reasonably clear to me why you don't think much of love. You simply can't understand it. You're selfish, and lack empathy. I mean no offence by this observation, but it's the truth.

I've been told I lack empathy . As for selfish well that depends , I spend 10 hours of my busy week doing volunteer work the difference being that when I leave the office I don't have to worry about it till next week. Plus I see a solid positive practical purpose for my volunteer work but for kids zip.
 
hermanntrude
#44
let me qualify the statement. Your observations on children are entirely selfish. You're thinking only of the effect the children will have on you. Your perception is based entirely on your pride in yourself and your way of life as it currently stands. Your imagination needs a stretch, I think.

Of course I may be wrong. Perhaps in two month's time i'll come back and plead with the world to take my baby away before I strangle it. Probably not, though.
 
SwitSof
#45
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

these answers make it reasonably clear to me why you don't think much of love. You simply can't understand it. You're selfish, and lack empathy. I mean no offence by this observation, but it's the truth.

Were you like that when you were his age, Herm?
If you were, what changed you to want to tie the knot again?
 
hermanntrude
#46
I was just exactly the same. I'm not even sure when or how it happened but children and marriage became goals for me and so far it's turned out wonderfully.
 
Minority Observer84
#47
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

let me qualify the statement. Your observations on children are entirely selfish. You're thinking only of the effect the children will have on you. Your perception is based entirely on your pride in yourself and your way of life as it currently stands. Your imagination needs a stretch, I think..

But that is the basis for my entire argument if they seem like such a bother to me a stranger who really only has to deal with them in public places how terrible would it be for the parent who has to watch this thing all the time . Parent who wakes and sleeps to this child handles their every need and has to handle all their inconviences . Sounds terrifying .

And those shorts were (take note of me using the past sense here ) awesome now it just hurts to look at them .
 
SwitSof
#48
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

I was just exactly the same.

Still the same now?
 
hermanntrude
#49
no. I have a very different attitude to myself and to other people than I used to.
 
hermanntrude
#50
Quote: Originally Posted by Minority Observer84View Post

But that is the basis for my entire argument if they seem like such a bother to me a stranger who really only has to deal with them in public places how terrible would it be for the parent who has to watch this thing all the time . Parent who wakes and sleeps to this child handles their every need and has to handle all their inconviences . Sounds terrifying .

And those shorts were (take note of me using the past sense here ) awesome now it just hurts to look at them .

Yes well that's my point too. You can't see past the "bother" because the "bother" is all you can see, since it's the part that most obviously relates to you as you see yourself now. If you could think a little more widely, remember that babies grow up, become adults, and also that there are elements to parenthood you haven't considered in your observation of families. Have you ever noticed the smile on a mother's face when their baby makes a burbley noise or smiles or laughs or farts or does almost anything? I reckon that smile has to be taken into consideration.

Inconvenience is nothing.
 
eh1eh
#51
As soon as you see that new life you and someone else have created your heart and mind will be changed forever.
BTW the farts are the funniest.
 
Dreadful Nonsense
#52
octogenerians intermaryying what ya gonna do when the lights go out?
shawn phillips...lil didy popped out.....
 
SwitSof
#53
Quote: Originally Posted by eh1ehView Post

BTW the farts are the funniest.

That can happen between couples even.
As long as it doesn't go as far as like you stop closing the toilet door for example.

BTW, I knew you wouldn't just give me a gag!
Bugger, I forgot about the clicking gag to spread to my ex-colleagues!
 
SwitSof
#54
What really pissed me off is having this bloke acquaintance dare say that since more women feel the clock is ticking to have a companionship, then blokes would have the upper hand to make their partner do things the partner is not that comfortable doing on the first place Made my stomach turned.
 
hermanntrude
#55
that is a pretty twisted way of looking at it, you're right.
 
SwitSof
#56
He is setting up a website to connect Portuguese who are living and working in the UK who need support from the community.
He is actually one too actually.
What he has told me that there are Portuguese women who have very low-paid jobs thus would settle down to find a companion whom they can live together with to make life easier say financially.
And in this life where it's clear between the two that the man has the upper hand, some of the male partners feel it's their right to enforce things the female partners are not comfortable with. Please note I was saying some.
This acquaintance even made a bold statement eventually that for example more and more women would say compromise to give oral sex even though they don't fancy doing it (it's a matter of personal preference after all, isn't it?) because the clock is ticking and it's so hard to find men who wouldn't demand having it. Argghh, if I had him in front of me, I probably slap his face!
 
hermanntrude
#57
you can't demand oral sex. but you sure can be upset if you never get it. I'd say, though, that the best way to get is to give.
 
Minority Observer84
#58
Manipulating people into doing something they do not want to do is twisted and sick ,
 
SwitSof
#59
Quote: Originally Posted by MinorityObserver84

Manipulating people into doing something they do not want to do is twisted and sick ,

Exactly!

Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

you can't demand oral sex. but you sure can be upset if you never get it. I'd say, though, that the best way to get is to give.

So you're saying that he's right that most blokes at least would be upset of not getting it?
I reckon people who don't like giving it wouldn't expect to receive it either.
 
hermanntrude
#60
I expect most men, but certainly not all, would be upset if they never got it again, yes. But I do think it's unfair to demand it. Especially if you won't return the favour.
 

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