Write a sonnet???


#juan
#1
We've had several discussions about Shakespeare over the time I've been here and at least some of those discussions involved the Sonnets. Shakespeare wrote a large number of sonnets. The following is an example of one of them:

Below is the example of an English sonnet, written by Shakespeare.
Sonnet 130
My Mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
There in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak; yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground
Any yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare


As can be plotted in this example, a sonnet follows a traditional structure:
• A proposition is set out
• The proposition is then developed
• Either a conclusion is reached, or there is a thought-provoking finale
Moving on to the Italian sonnet, the same conventions are followed, but the stanzas follow a different structure. The first stanza is composed of eight lines, and the second of six lines.

A sonnet can be humorous, sarcastic, whatever. Anybody want to try one? I will....Give me fifteen minutes. Hey, don't let me be the only one..

 
Libra Girl
#2
I'm thinking, I'm thinking.... erm.
 
hermanntrude
#3
I'm afraid I'll never be much good at this. My dad writes poetry but i doubt he'd have the control to stick to the rules of a sonnet. he writes in a very loose manner and usually very silly too.
 
Libra Girl
#4
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

I'm afraid I'll never be much good at this. My dad writes poetry but i doubt he'd have the control to stick to the rules of a sonnet. he writes in a very loose manner and usually very silly too.

Now don't let me down herm... I've issued a statement to yuan that anyone can write a sonnet if they put their minds to it, when he said that Francis Bacon looked more likely to be the type to write sonnets than Shakespeare would be.
 
hermanntrude
#5
I'm sure I could write a sonnet, but I don't want to, because I know it'd be embarrasing
 
Libra Girl
#6
lol. But, you said you could, so I guess that counts. Me, I'm having great difficulty. Poetry ain't my thing.
 
#juan
#7
Juan's Sonnet #1...Don't laugh

The wiles of women defeat all men both rich and poor
There is no known defense against this threat
For the highest born ladies and as the commonest hoor
Can get round the objections and all manner of fret
What man can object to a well turned knee
A softly lifted smile and a beguiling look
That can cause a man's insides to buzz like a bee
Can make a man wiggle like a fish on a hook

Is there any escape from this God-awful fate
To be led like a dog on the gentlest leash
An unholy test that's bound to cause hate
A wretched alliance to be sure but Geesh,
Aren't they lovely to be around at that time of night
When the house is all quiet and we aspire to delight
Last edited by #juan; Apr 21st, 2007 at 08:05 PM..
 
sanctus
#8
Quote: Originally Posted by #juanView Post

Juan's Sonnet #1...Don't laugh

The wiles of women defeat all men both rich and poor
There is no known defense against this threat
For the highest born ladies as well as the commonest hoor
Can get round the objections and all manner of fret
What man can object to a well turned knee
A softly lifted smile and a beguiling look
That can cause a man's insides to buzz like a bee
Can make a man wiggle like a fish on a hook

Is there any escape from this God-awful fate
To be led like a dog on the gentlest leash
An unholy test that's bound to cause hate
A wretched alliance to be sure, but geesh,
Aren't they lovely to be around at that time of night
When the house is all quiet and we aspire to delighte



A good effort!
Last edited by #juan; Apr 21st, 2007 at 08:04 PM..
 
#juan
#9
This was harder than I thought...
 
sanctus
#10
Oh Love, Who Once Made Me Feel So Blest

Oh love, who once made me feel so blest,
yet now desires to end this happy security.
Who assures me that heart can come to rest
upon a future that will not have place for me.
Oh shadow that hides behind my weary soul,
who laughs at my passion which is undying.
Please be gentle in your ending of my role.
Do not ignore my leaping hands still trying
to erase the pressure of words unshaken.
Oh soul, which is filled with wild endeavour,
be kind in your death which life has taken.
Be patient in the limbs you will happily sever.
Oh heart, why are you so heavy to know?
Why, dear love, must all we have fail to grow?
 
sanctus
#11
Quote: Originally Posted by #juanView Post

This was harder than I thought...


It is a very difficult style to master. The last two lines, also, should rhyme in a traditional sonnet.
 
#juan
#12
Quote: Originally Posted by sanctusView Post

A good effort!

Thanks Sanctus

My friends who were going to write one as well abandoned me...

That was probably my last Sonnet..
 
sanctus
#13
Quote: Originally Posted by #juanView Post

Thanks Sanctus

My friends who were going to write one as well abandoned me...

That was probably my last Sonnet..


Don't give up!

I didn't know you wrote poetry. Are you published?
 
hermanntrude
#14
I prefer the limerick :0)

great stuff from the two of you. Although we wouldnt expect less from sanctus, since he's already shown his class as a poet.
 
#juan
#15
Quote: Originally Posted by sanctusView Post

Don't give up!

I didn't know you wrote poetry. Are you published?

That was a great compliment. Thank you. That is the one and only poem I've ever written period.
 
sanctus
#16
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

I prefer the limerick :0)

great stuff from the two of you. Although we wouldnt expect less from sanctus, since he's already shown his class as a poet.


Thank you. Yes, poetry is my first love. Everytime something gets published it's kind of a secret delight for me. I have a small reputation in poetry circles, believe it or not!
 
eh1eh
#17
Quote: Originally Posted by #juanView Post

Thanks Sanctus

My friends who were going to write one as well abandoned me...

That was probably my last Sonnet..

Wasn't bad enough to be a last.
 
eh1eh
#18
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

I prefer the limerick :0)

great stuff from the two of you. Although we wouldnt expect less from sanctus, since he's already shown his class as a poet.

Way back in the usenet days (news groups) I was known to participate in a limmerick group. Sadly I sucked, but I did have some fun. If I can get the right synapses firing I might throw one out.
 
tamarin
#19
I'm picky. I want my sonnets to scan. I want them to respect convention. Sorry, folks, you'll have to be more personally demanding. And for Pete's sakes get rid of those excess syllables. Okay, I'm through.
 
#juan
#20
Quote: Originally Posted by tamarinView Post

I'm picky. I want my sonnets to scan. I want them to respect convention. Sorry, folks, you'll have to be more personally demanding. And for Pete's sakes get rid of those excess syllables. Okay, I'm through.

Where is yours?
 
tamarin
#21
You'd just steal them. Can't take the chance. But, Juan, keep muddlin'. I'll not question you or Sanctus on your devotion to the craft of poetry. Just don't call these creations sonnets. Please...
 
eh1eh
#22
Quote: Originally Posted by tamarinView Post

You'd just steal them. Can't take the chance. But, Juan, keep muddlin'. I'll not question you or Sanctus on your devotion to the craft of poetry. Just don't call these creations sonnets. Please...

You are a very particular copy editor I've heard. LOL
 
#juan
#23
Quote: Originally Posted by tamarinView Post

You'd just steal them. Can't take the chance. But, Juan, keep muddlin'. I'll not question you or Sanctus on your devotion to the craft of poetry. Just don't call these creations sonnets. Please...


Sorry


Can't except criticism from anyone who won't submit to the same . That was my first but I tried to follow the rules and only my lack of talent got in the way.
 
Libra Girl
#24
Quote: Originally Posted by #juanView Post

Thanks Sanctus

My friends who were going to write one as well abandoned me...

That was probably my last Sonnet..

It was indeed a very good effort yuan. And, I didn't abandon you... I have a terrible toothache. Also, I am struggling with my sonnet... lol
Superb sonnet. ]
 
tamarin
#25
Juan, I accept that you except.
Now don't get me phoning the poetry police on you!
 
Libra Girl
#26
Quote: Originally Posted by sanctusView Post

Oh Love, Who Once Made Me Feel So Blest

Oh love, who once made me feel so blest,
yet now desires to end this happy security.
Who assures me that heart can come to rest
upon a future that will not have place for me.
Oh shadow that hides behind my weary soul,
who laughs at my passion which is undying.
Please be gentle in your ending of my role.
Do not ignore my leaping hands still trying
to erase the pressure of words unshaken.
Oh soul, which is filled with wild endeavour,
be kind in your death which life has taken.
Be patient in the limbs you will happily sever.
Oh heart, why are you so heavy to know?
Why, dear love, must all we have fail to grow?

That's very sad sanctus, but also an excellent sonnet.
 
#juan
#27
Quote: Originally Posted by Libra GirlView Post

It was indeed a very good effort yuan. And, I didn't abandon you... I have a terrible toothache. Also, I am struggling with my sonnet... lol
Superb sonnet. ]

Sorry you have a toothache. They can be really miserable.

I looked at the sonnet rules and I thought," This can't be that hard". I found it a real struggle to put together that mess that I made. It would be kinder to poetry in general if I stayed out.
 
Libra Girl
#28
Quote: Originally Posted by #juanView Post

Sorry you have a toothache. They can be really miserable.

I looked at the sonnet rules and I thought," This can't be that hard". I found it a real struggle to put together that mess that I made. It would be kinder to poetry in general if I stayed out.

Yes, and I won't be able to see my Orthodontist until Monday...
As to your sonnet. I am far from a poetry critic, I just know what I like. I thought it was lovely, and more importantly, others here who know what they are talking about when it comes to poetry, liked it also... I hope you go on to write much more.
 
#juan
#29
You are too kind.

About 6 months ago I had a toothache that ended with a root canal. My brother suggested that I take 2 aspirins and four valiums. He said it wouldn't cure the toothache but I wouldn't give a damn.
 
tamarin
#30
"and more importantly, others here who know what they are talking about when it comes to poetry, liked it also..."

Now that's unction for you. May I have more please?
 

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