Women And Men Can't Agree On Cheating


sanctus
#1
NEW YORK (Wireless Flash) -- When it comes to cheating, men and women have very different ideas.

According to a survey by "Women's Health" and "Men's Health" magazines, 45 percent of men think talking to one's ex on a regular basis is cheating but only 27 percent of women agree with that definition.

That's not all: 45 percent of men say getting a massage from a friend of the opposite sex constitutes cheating but only 35 percent of women are touchy about that.

Men might be more particular about the definition of cheating but only 32 percent of men admit they've been cheated on compared to 45 percent of women.

However, 32 percent of ladies admit they've been the ones doing the cheating while only 16 percent of men confess to being a cheat.

Finally, 50 percent of men believe cheating has ruined at least one past relationship but only 27 percent of women will make that claim.
 
lysyfacet
#2
i wouldn't agree with all those for cheating, like their definitions such as getting a message from the opposite sex is cheating. But hey everyone has their own views.
I would never consider that cheating, i wouldn't shadow my girlfriend from the opposite sex because she's with me, she can still talk and converse with them, there just can't be anything sexual, kissing, touching....stuff like that, or even verbally saying certain things. But otherwise, i wouldn't ever tell her talking with another guy, or sending him a message (depends on that message ofcourse) as cheating.
 
sanctus
#3
Quote: Originally Posted by lysyfacetView Post

i wouldn't agree with all those for cheating, like their definitions such as getting a message from the opposite sex is cheating. But hey everyone has their own views.
I would never consider that cheating, i wouldn't shadow my girlfriend from the opposite sex because she's with me, she can still talk and converse with them, there just can't be anything sexual, kissing, touching....stuff like that, or even verbally saying certain things. But otherwise, i wouldn't ever tell her talking with another guy, or sending him a message (depends on that message ofcourse) as cheating.

Men, in general, can be very territorial in regards to their female partners.
 
Niflmir
#4
Quote: Originally Posted by lysyfacetView Post

i wouldn't agree with all those for cheating, like their definitions such as getting a message from the opposite sex is cheating. But hey everyone has their own views.
I would never consider that cheating, i wouldn't shadow my girlfriend from the opposite sex because she's with me, she can still talk and converse with them, there just can't be anything sexual, kissing, touching....stuff like that, or even verbally saying certain things. But otherwise, i wouldn't ever tell her talking with another guy, or sending him a message (depends on that message ofcourse) as cheating.

Meh, in Europe its common greeting to kiss. Not necessarily on the lips mind you, but on the cheeks usually. As for back rubs, hell, I give them to my mom. Good thing my parents are divorced, or my mom would be cheating on my dad with her son. Barf.

Anything short of acting on lust isn't cheating in my humble opinion. I can handle kissing, hugging seeing on a regular basis as long as their are no feelings involved.
 
Vereya
#5
Quote: Originally Posted by NiflmirView Post

Anything short of acting on lust isn't cheating in my humble opinion. I can handle kissing, hugging seeing on a regular basis as long as their are no feelings involved.

How can you be sure that there are no feelings? That's the tricky part....
 
eh1eh
#6
I think cheating is in the heart so a message could be cheating. Relationships are not defined only by sex. Emotional cheating is possible and can be a symptom of a failing relationship. As for back rubs, would it be at a spa or a private residence? The difference is obvious IMO.
 
Zzarchov
#7
Its not a MESSAGE thats cheating, its a MASSAGE.
 
Niflmir
#8
Quote: Originally Posted by VereyaView Post

How can you be sure that there are no feelings? That's the tricky part....

Well, you cannot, so you just have to have trust until you have a reason otherwise. Jealousy will kill a relationship pretty quickly.
 
Curiosity
#9
I wonder in the plan for evolution of man - it was planned that each sex be committed to one person for the purpose of sexual relations.

It is of course much more civilized, however it appears to be one of the most difficult conundrums mankind faces - the fact that we are able to love and have feelings - even to the point of sexuality with another apart from our committed love.

Or were we meant to be unified with one only?
 
Tonington
#10
I gotta say that talking to an ex, that's pretty normal for me. It's never caused my relationships any problems so far...

Massage, what's wrong with that? Just because a frind of mine rubs my back or vice versa doesn't mean I'm in love with her or anything like that. Also depends I guess on how open your relationships are, as Nif says, it's jealousy that will end it pretty fast.
 
Niflmir
#11
I would be more tempted to ask, do we want to be unified to only one? Each to their own. It might work for some people, but I had problems keeping more than one girlfriend at a time, feelings just get hurt too easily. My wife says the same thing happened to her trying to keep two boyfriends at once.
 
Curiosity
#12
My life has enough chaos thank you ! lol
 
karrie
#13
Hmmm. I have to say, that simply defining 'cheating' by actions falls short of the mark in defining it, BY FAR.

Let's say my dear friend Tonington pops over for a visit one night. Tonington, who I have no sexual or emotional feeling for (sorry T), notices that my back is sore, and offers a massage. Is that really cheating? I certainly wouldn't define it so.

And yet, if I spend my whole day thinking about how much I lust after, lets say Hermann (just don't tell his wife, k?), yet I never see or talk to him, am I being faithful? Heck no!

As Eh1eh said... cheating is in the heart.

But don't get me wrong fellas. Having sex with a woman and trying to tell your girlfriend or spouse it's okay because you had no feelings for the other woman DOES NOT WORK!! lol.
 
hermanntrude
#14
I would define cheating as doing anything that your spouse wouldn't want you to do. This means that fully-conscious swingers with no regrets aren't cheating, and people whose wives have expressly forbidden them to meet with their ex are cheating when they do.
cheating isnt defined by the physical acts, it's defined by the emotional and social consequences
 
L Gilbert
#15
Quote: Originally Posted by NiflmirView Post

Meh, in Europe its common greeting to kiss. Not necessarily on the lips mind you, but on the cheeks usually. As for back rubs, hell, I give them to my mom. Good thing my parents are divorced, or my mom would be cheating on my dad with her son. Barf.

Anything short of acting on lust isn't cheating in my humble opinion. I can handle kissing, hugging seeing on a regular basis as long as their are no feelings involved.

I'll ditto that except at the end I'd say as long as feelings (if any) are controlled and not acted upon.
Um, I have blood in my heart, not cheating or fidelity. But, I understand the concept, you folks mean that intentions are the key. I agree that possessiveness is a biggie here, too. I can feel attracted to all sorts of people, but I will not carry through with those attractions. I'll even flirt, but that road is a dead end for me.
Last edited by L Gilbert; Apr 17th, 2007 at 11:48 AM..
 
L Gilbert
#16
Quote: Originally Posted by hermanntrudeView Post

I would define cheating as doing anything that your spouse wouldn't want you to do.

My wife doesn't want me to tickle her (er so she says), but I do anyway. I'm cheating, I guess.
 
hermanntrude
#17
lol well I'd say you were breaking some boundaries. Maybe she secretly wants you to, though. My wife lashes out if i tickle her. I'd be likely to get a boot in the face.
 
Tonington
#18
Quote: Originally Posted by karrieView Post


Let's say my dear friend Tonington pops over for a visit one night. Tonington, who I have no sexual or emotional feeling for (sorry T)

Heh, you say that now. My machismo and magic fingers aren't so apparent over internet channels
 
hermanntrude
#19
lol
number of times karrie's been hit on in cancon: 1782 tick tick tick
 
Tonington
#20
I wouldn't say hit on as much as floundering to preserve my damaged libido

I don't think I've hit on anyone here yet, though I did suggest a CanCon barbeque a while back...
 
Curiosity
#21
Hermann
The fact of Karrie's attraction from the male critters here shows a strong tendency there are very bright males frequenting this forum!
 
selfactivated
#22
I told someone recently sex is sex .....oh yeah my daughter last night......her boyfriend cheated on her and I told her.....so what? forgive him and move on. She said Mom you dumped Johnny I said I dont Love Johnny. She got the point
 
hermanntrude
#23
Quote: Originally Posted by CuriosityView Post

Hermann
The fact of Karrie's attraction from the male critters here shows a strong tendency there are very bright males frequenting this forum!

hear, hear.
 
karrie
#24
Quote: Originally Posted by ToningtonView Post

Heh, you say that now. My machismo and magic fingers aren't so apparent over internet channels

I'm sure you'd capture my heart in real life Tonington. lol.
 
Tonington
#25
Quote: Originally Posted by karrieView Post

I'm sure you'd capture my heart in real life Tonington. lol.

Thanks karrie, my ego is back to normal now
 
karrie
#26
Quote: Originally Posted by CuriosityView Post

Hermann
The fact of Karrie's attraction from the male critters here shows a strong tendency there are very bright males frequenting this forum!

lol. it is a smart group alright!
 
karrie
#27
Quote: Originally Posted by selfactivatedView Post

I told someone recently sex is sex .....oh yeah my daughter last night......her boyfriend cheated on her and I told her.....so what? forgive him and move on. She said Mom you dumped Johnny I said I dont Love Johnny. She got the point

wise advice, depending who's receiving it. Indiscretion is portrayed by the media as the end all in any relationship. Seems not many would last if we all throw a tantrum and walk out for good. Plus, you can't make him regret it for the rest of his life if you just leave. LOL.
 
darkbeaver
#28
I know something about cheating. It's exciting for a variety of different reasons. But ultimately it is personally expensive and destructive. Self respect is very hard to rebuild.
 
selfactivated
#29
Quote: Originally Posted by darkbeaverView Post

I know something about cheating. It's exciting for a variety of different reasons. But ultimately it is personally expensive and destructive. Self respect is very hard to rebuild.


Forgiveness builds great self esteme.
 
selfactivated
#30
Quote: Originally Posted by ToningtonView Post

I wouldn't say hit on as much as floundering to preserve my damaged libido

I don't think I've hit on anyone here yet, though I did suggest a CanCon barbeque a while back...


Ive seen your pic! Your a knock out AND Smart, funny........oh Darlin you got it all!
 

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