These are REAL ADS from a Scottish lonely hearts club column.
Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone,Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango
sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion.
Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08
Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything
Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in
pints, fags [[cigarrettes]], Celtic football club and starting scraps on
at three in the morning. Box 73/82.
Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime
>seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists
cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box 53/41
Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty
after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes,
Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the
writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice
dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce
along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey.
Strong stomach essential Box 12/32
Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will
cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions.
References required. No timewasters. Box 23/45
Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old b*stard living in a damp cottage in
the **** end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with
big chest. Box 40/27
Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for
wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and
slaughtering dogs in
cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box
Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler
at Framptons Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, seeks
who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking
listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/4
>>>Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi
>>>night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm
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