1 In 3 Boys Heavy Porn Users


L Gilbert
#31
Quote: Originally Posted by karrieView Post

You went the right route IMO. When I was growing up, mom had many a frank discussion with us about sex. But, her knowledge was limited to what she could get in books at the local library, and the issues that she was aware of. She had no knowledge of some of the pitfalls that awaited us. I can't really say I blame her for that, she tried, she tried really hard. She was raised to ignore anything to do with any of the goings on south of the belt, unless it was marital, menstrual, or maternal. She fought really hard to not pass on that kind of attitude. But, certain things, like disease transmission, were just outside of her realm of knowledge. She put her daughters on birth control, and she told her son how to use condoms, but there were some high risk activities she never adressed. She talked about the importance of 'the m word' for a healthy psyche. She talked about the importance of an open and frank sex life as a corner stone for marriage. She gave me a lot. But, I just can't believe that I'm going to have to sit my kids down one day to explain to them why they should watch gang bangs and donkey sex. *sigh*.

Yeeah, everyone finds difficulties somewhere in life, kinda makes me wonder sometimes why our parents were so puritanical. Anyway, We explained to them about bestiality and group sex, but explained that those activities could be physically harmful, psychologically harmful, and that society pretty much frowns on it. There's no way in hell we'd have told them they had to see it. (They probably would have upchucked at the first sight of bestiality anyway).
 
karrie
#32
Quote: Originally Posted by L GilbertView Post

Yeeah, everyone finds difficulties somewhere in life, kinda makes me wonder sometimes why our parents were so puritanical. Anyway, We explained to them about bestiality and group sex, but explained that those activities could be physically harmful, psychologically harmful, and that society pretty much frowns on it. There's no way in hell we'd have told them they had to see it. (They probably would have upchucked at the first sight of bestiality anyway).


Okay, that was my absolutely WORST typing mistake ever. I've fixed my post. Sheesh. I'm gonna go back to bed, this strep throat is taking more out of me than I thought.
 
L Gilbert
#33
So you're the guilty culprit. I've got a sore throat. Probly you gave it to me.
.
.
.
.Kidding. Mine's due to a cold.
 
karrie
#34
Quote: Originally Posted by L GilbertView Post

So you're the guilty culprit. I've got a sore throat. Probly you gave it to me.
.
.
.
.Kidding. Mine's due to a cold.

Mine's due to being a mom. I made the mistake of taking my son to that pitre dish called McDonald's playland. For any mom with a hyper boy in a cold snap, this is necessary for peace and quiet. But, within a day, his throat started swelling. His sister's the only one who hasn't caught it yet. This is his 6th day off school, 9th day with the swelling. No cold symptoms, just massively swollen tonsils. Nasty.
 
Curiosity
#35
I think the secret to keeping curiosity and over-indulgence - especially at another's home - when your own child is more carefully monitored is keeping your window of communication comfortable and always open.

A child who will be exposed to many things you would not necessarily allow in your own home may have some questions, even some repugnance towards what he or she saw, and if your child knows you are
available to answer any and all questions no matter how pornographic in detail - without a lecture or anger - you will have taken the mystique away ...

Kids have great imaginations and once the door is opened to sexuality ... the questions and desire to know more just keeps going.... if you want to be the source of good information.... welcome the queries... and maybe keep the conversation a two-way street, not shutting down the questions...
 
L Gilbert
#36
Yeah. Kinda like what I've been saying.
 
Curiosity
#37
L.Gilbert

Saying AND doing too! Sometimes parents scare their kids away because they feel awkward talking about the seamy side of life.... but it's out there... we can meet the challenge or hope it never comes up....
 
L Gilbert
#38
Also, good point. We brought up a couple issues to talk about before the kids had a chance to. Drugs was one subject we brought up. The kids brought up the sex thing. Tobacco was one the kids asked about: specifically they said, "What would you do if we started smoking?" I said, "not in the house", and wife said, "only if you want your lungs to turn into used ashtrays".
 
Curiosity
#39
L.Gilbert

God it's good to read about aware parents and those who practice it... your kids are very lucky!!
 
mapleleafgirl
#40
dont you think you old people are kinda overreacting? my brother has tons of porn that he dosent think we know about, mostly under his mattress. it seems normal to me.
 
AmberEyes
#41
I've never had issues with porn. My parents raised me in a very trusting relationship, and I felt that I could talk to my mom about anything. When I was 15 she caught me looking at porn, and all she said was "It's not real, you know." And that was it. Ever since I was quite young I've known what sex was. My parents, mom especially, gave me a very thorough education on sex, fetishes, puberty, etc. Anything questions I had were answered honestly and without judgement.

I don't think it's very productive to completely ban the usage of porn in a household, neither do I think it's good to give your children porn. If they decide they're curious and want to see what it's like, they can seek it out themselves. Better to have them do it in a safe environment where they can't get into trouble.
 
karrie
#42
Quote: Originally Posted by mapleleafgirlView Post

dont you think you old people are kinda overreacting? my brother has tons of porn that he dosent think we know about, mostly under his mattress. it seems normal to me.

Porn or nudie pics Maple? There's a bit of a difference.
 
mapleleafgirl
#43
Quote: Originally Posted by karrieView Post

Porn or nudie pics Maple? There's a bit of a difference.

magazines..isnt that the same as porn? hes stupid cos he dosent know my mom and i know he has them. thinks it s a big secret or something....
 
karrie
#44
Quote: Originally Posted by mapleleafgirlView Post

magazines..isnt that the same as porn? hes stupid cos he dosent know my mom and i know he has them. thinks it s a big secret or something....

I guess it is by definition. But, typically the picture of a naked woman you'd find in a mag, is a far cry from the videos of people having sex that you'd find on the net.
 
Dexter Sinister
#45
I'm inclined to suspect that 1 in 3 boys admits to being into porn and the other 2 are liars. I'm not so old I've forgotten what it was like to be a hormone-addled teenager. In fact I recall it with some amusement.
 
Toro
#46
This study is full of BS.

Its far more than 1 in 3!
 
L Gilbert
#47
Quote: Originally Posted by CuriosityView Post

L.Gilbert

God it's good to read about aware parents and those who practice it... your kids are very lucky!!

Thanks, but wifey and I think we're the lucky ones to hace such good & healthy kids.
 
L Gilbert
#48
Quote: Originally Posted by mapleleafgirlView Post

dont you think you old people are kinda overreacting? my brother has tons of porn that he dosent think we know about, mostly under his mattress. it seems normal to me.

Of course, it's normal. Like I said, in my day it was National Geographics and the odd Playboy.
 
L Gilbert
#49
Quote: Originally Posted by karrieView Post

I guess it is by definition. But, typically the picture of a naked woman you'd find in a mag, is a far cry from the videos of people having sex that you'd find on the net.

That's why the terms softcore and hardcore. Softcore porn is just images of nude people, hardcore porn is nude people having sex, and the other stuff.
 
L Gilbert
#50
Quote: Originally Posted by Dexter SinisterView Post

I'm inclined to suspect that 1 in 3 boys admits to being into porn and the other 2 are liars. I'm not so old I've forgotten what it was like to be a hormone-addled teenager. In fact I recall it with some amusement.

Funny is right. The awkwardness of the first experience? lol
 
karrie
#51
Quote: Originally Posted by Dexter SinisterView Post

I'm inclined to suspect that 1 in 3 boys admits to being into porn and the other 2 are liars. I'm not so old I've forgotten what it was like to be a hormone-addled teenager. In fact I recall it with some amusement.

well, it said 90% had looked at porn. But not all kids that age are left to their own devices often enough to fall into the category the 1/3 fall into.
 
Dexter Sinister
#52
Quote: Originally Posted by selfactivatedView Post

I know this goes against my usual open mindedness but I believe that one of the reasons my son is dead is because he was exposed to this far to early in life. My ex found it as a right of passage. I raised holy hell over it and it ended up being a tug of war. I dont have any answers if I did mabe my son would be alive.

I've been thinking about this and a few related posts of yours for about 24 hours, and finally decided I had to say this to you. Dammit self, stop blaming yourself for that. It was not your fault. It was not your fault. It was not your fault. It was not your fault. And just in case you missed my point, it was not your fault. Critter made a mistake. Every kid does, many of them are dangerous and stupid, most of them fortunately aren't fatal, but alas, some of them are. You could no more have prevented it than I could have. It was not your fault.

A friend of ours lost a son to suicide two years ago. He jumped off the roof of a local hotel in one of the down phases of his bipolar disorder, to the utter devastation of his family. His mother is still beating herself up with the "If only." If only I'd been more sensitive to his moods, if only I'd paid closer attention, if only I'd been more aware, if only I'd listened to him more carefully... It's bullsh*t. It was not her fault, and it was not your fault.
 
canadarocks
#53
Everybody has a different approach to teenage boys and pornography. No one is right, and everyone is right. In my house, it is not allowed, period. I have no religious reasons for this. My issue is purely as a woman. I find pornography demeaning and insulting to women and that is the basis of my disapproval. I have a 15 year old son. I have caught him with pornographic material twice and each time have thrown it out and punished him. That is what we do in our home. I make no PC distinction between soft or hard--to me..filth is filth. I fall out of the modern mainstream on the issue perhaps, but I very much want my son to understand that pornography of any kind is, in my opinion, demeaning to women and human sexuality. It cheapens what is a lovely expression of commitment and togetherness between two people, in my opinion.
 
#juan
#54
The ease with which porn can be found on the internet, make it surprising that the number is only one in three. A lot of movies shown on tv would at one time have been called "soft porn".
My grandson is fifteen years old and he has had his own computer for the last three years. I would find it hard to believe that he hadn't seen porn yet.
The term,"heavy porn user" bothers me because it suggests some sort of obsession that I don't believe is there in most healthy teenagers.
When I was 12 or 13 years old, one of the boys brought a deck of cards to school that supposedly had pictures of fifty two ways to do it. That deck of cards was definitely hard core, but it was a big deal only for about three days. After that most of the kids were bored with it. Maybe it had something to do with all those guys with black socks and sunglasses.
 
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