The Sun newspaper (always angry at Liberals and do-gooders) - angry that some prisoners in British gaols have been given games to play rather than being punished - has invented a new game especially for these prisoners. It's called Wormwood Scrabbs - so-called because Wormwood Scrubs is one of London's most notorious gaols and the game is similar to Scrabble.

Here's how to play for any prison convicts who might be reading this on their cell's computer......

Wormwood Scrabbs for lags

Special edition Scrabble ... for the inmates

October 19, 2006

HERE’S our free gift for lags looking to brighten up life behind bars — Scrabble to play in prison.

Yesterday The Sun told how dangerous inmates are being PAID to play Scrabble and other games in jail.

Now we have devised our own version of the board game for cons detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure.

Our edition awards a triple-word bonus for expressions from prison slang.

So here’s how to play...

Con ... earning money for playing games

First, cut out the board above and glue it on to a piece of card.

You may need to borrow a razor blade from a fellow con on your floor if you can’t get hold of scissors. Next, settle down with a nice cup of diesel — prison tea — and put your skull in gear. You can earn word bonuses by getting a friendly screw to join in the game.

A word of warning though — make sure you don’t take your eyes off your stash of letters even for a moment.

The winner is the first player to complete an entire sentence. The Sun dreamed up the special edition after it emerged that pampered crooks are raking in cash for playing Scrabble.
They are also being paid to play ping-pong, take guitar lessons, read a book or even feed prison fish.

The barmy plan was introduced at high-security Whitemoor Jail in Cambridgeshire.

Criminals earn credits for a range of “constructive activities”, including going to the gym or library, cleaning, attending classes and seeing the psychologist or mental health nurse. They must complete at least 30 minutes to win 1.10 in vouchers to spend in the prison shop.

Chief Prisons Inspector Anne Owers said the perks were “positive initiatives” for inmates who spent long periods in solitary confinement.

But lags don’t get paid for watching TV or playing pool.

Shadow Home Secretary David Davis attacked the scheme, saying that rehabilitating criminals “is not achieved by paying them to play board games”.

But The Sun figured that if crooks were going to play Scrabble they may as well get a board they can relate to. So cut it out and keep — but use by its cell-by date.

KEEN Scrabble players will spot that our board has too many As, Cs, Ls and Ss — but lags can nick extra letters from other boards. And why is there no Q or Z? Lags are too thick to think of complex words.