_, a fine upstanding (yet occasionally bad as hell) member of this forum, do solemnly swear upon the kitchen sink and sundry other items, to remember, at all times, just one thing before posting: these people are my friends. I might yell at them, I might throw an empty beer can at them, I might even throw day-old spaghetti at them if they're (choose one) . . . *^&*(#^# right-wing . . . *#@$(%&#*(@& left-wing, but I'm not going to attack my friends in a genuinely vicious manner from this point on. May Haggis strike me dead if I do, for being dead will certainly be better than what she has in mind for me in the torture rooms if I don't sign and comply."
Signed in fear and dread,