Where do you hide the bodies?


Kreskin
#1
I'm running out of room under the house and want to know what everyone else does with theirs.
 
Said1
#2
Basement. Mines dirt. make sure to dig deep or else the dog and cat will dig them up and play with them. really grosss and hard to expain when family and friends come to visit.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#3
I bring 'em here, they're tucked all over the place around this forum. If you see a dark dusty corner, a closer look will probaby reveal a body.
 
Kreskin
#4
Said - that's why I stopped using the garden..damn neighbours dog.

Haggis - you're serial material.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#5
Sometimes I have to mince 'em up a bit, make 'em fit better in the nooks and crannies. Especially the ones I've got in the political threads. Mouldering bodies right left and centre. No wonder people get so cranky in there.
 
Sassylassie
#6
That's why I bought the other-half a table saw, burr-burr. Then put the parts in the compost bin close to the bottom--is always best.
 
Kreskin
#7
Quote: Originally Posted by Sassylassie

That's why I bought the other-half a table saw, burr-burr. Then put the parts in the compost bin close to the bottom--is always best.

Did you see any good wood chippers at the auction?
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#8
Do you save the eyeballs? Convenient to keep on hand for hors d'oeuvres, and when flattened and dried, make clever coasters.
 
Sassylassie
#9
No I use them to make necklaces. Not only do I have a third eye I have a fourth and fifth.
 
Kreskin
#10
I use the eyes for my cloning experiments.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#11
I find that the fingers, painted and decorated with amusing faces, make good chess pawns.
 
cortez
#12
why hide them?
i stuff them and hang them on the wall
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#13
Quote: Originally Posted by cortez

why hide them?
i stuff them and hang them on the wall

Yes, well, but we're talking about when you run out of space on the walls, Cortez.
 
FiveParadox
#14
I hide them in another dimension the Delta State.
 
cortez
#15
Oh, sorry-- I forgot to include the ones I have sitting at the dinner table....and on the sofa.... and in the beds.... and on the toilets....
 
FiveParadox
#16
Ew ... in the beds, like in bed? Kind of like that rather chilling morgue-like tale that's floating somewhere about this forum?
 
cortez
#17
Well, I find that if they are hogging space at night you can just shove them out of bed onto the floor, they don' t hog the covers, and they dont want to yak all night.....
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#18
That's true, the ones in the bed are a pain. If they ain't yakking, they're mouldering, which makes a helluva mess of the sheets.
 
Kreskin
#19
Quote: Originally Posted by cortez

Oh, sorry-- I forgot to include the ones I have sitting at the dinner table....and on the sofa.... and in the beds.... and on the toilets....

That's as good as hiding them. No one will check them on the toilet or on the sofa. Need a good air freshener - like Glade. No one will suspect a thing.
 
FiveParadox
#20
Unless, of course, you purchase their new Relaxing Decay scent.

Biggest waste of $4.99 in a long time ...
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#21
Or just toss 'em in the dryer with a fabric softener sheet. Freshen up those putrid puppies in no time flat.
 
Said1
#22
Quote: Originally Posted by cortez

Oh, sorry-- I forgot to include the ones I have sitting at the dinner table....and on the sofa.... and in the beds.... and on the toilets....

Now that's a good idea. Keeps burgalers away.
 
cortez
#23
Weelllllll...
Some of them are....or WERE...would be burglars....
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#24
Big Mac double cheese burlgar, hold the relish.
 
Sassylassie
#25
This is starting to sound like the song "Old MacDonald had a farm ey aye-ey aye oh, and on that farm he had a Cortez with a Cortez here and a Cortez there, ey aye ey aye oh."
 
Kreskin
#26
I'm right out of storage room. If I opened my closet it would become a bodies-in-a-box. Anyone willing to accept by Purolater? Prepaid of course.
 
cortez
#27
I will accept them!!!!!!!!! I am starting a "Commuter Friend" business... Instead of those insipid plastic dolls you sit in the front seat with you to be able to go into a commuter lane on the highway, why not have a real body---these ones fool even the most dedicated cops.....
 
Zan
#28
hmmm you idea holds alot of merit Cortez... I bet there are all sorts of way to put these bodies to good use. Fer example I think I'll throw a lavish back yard party with the bodies I've found in attendance - all the neighbours will think I've suddenly become ever so popular.... before ya know it, folks would be vieing for a coveted invite to my infamous parties....as for the odor wafting about the neighborhood, well, I guess it would be blamed on some rather bad bbqing techniques on my part - my culinary reputation might take a bit of a hit ...on the up side though, if a few bodies start to slide out of their lawn chairs, the obvious assumption to onlookers will have to be there's been a tad too much frivolity and consumption of spirits by the gruesome guests...
yep. Haggis - If ya don't mind, I think I'll hold onto the bodies I've acquired in my travels around here - you just keep producin 'em, I'll find ways to recycle 'em. Waste not want not.
 
Canucklehead
#29
Homemade sausages and hot dogs! That's your answer... everyone knows there is nothing good in either of those products so the odd taste isn't a dead giveaway, not to mention there is no evidence left for the cops to find or the dog to dig up from the backyard.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#30
Low in cholesterol, but a bit high in macabreohydrates.
 

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