I Think my Dogs are Junkies


Reverend Blair
#1
I've been using this Deep Cold stuff on my knees and ankles for my arthritis. Like most arthritis things its only effect seems to be to keep Mrs. Rev from insisting that I go see the doctor so she can prescribe some pills that I can't take.

I don't know what's in this stuff but it smells like Vick's vapo-rub. It likely is Vick's vapo-rub in a fancy new container. Like most of this crap, you could likely write SNAKE OIL on the side and be just as accurate. It likely is snake oil, but without the opium and crushed coca leaves mixed in to make it work. What the hell though? It doesn't hurt.

I've noticed something odd this week though. I use this stuff twice a day...once in the morning and once at night. I slather it on. Then the dogs come. It used to be haphazard, but now they are lining up in order of dominance. The old one with mouth cancer goes first, then the one I stole from a junkie, then the psychotic one that was retrieved from the corner of Portage and Donald, then the diabetic blind dog.

The last one isn't the least dominant. She's the enforcer and protector of the oldest one, so her duties require her to be last. She's adamant about it too...step out of line and she makes hyena noises and snaps ineffectually at the air because she can't see who to bite.

They all show up, in their little pack order, and snort my knees. It's like some bizarre ritual. They all do that in the same order too.... left knee, right knee, right ankle.

i think they've become addicted to Deep Cold and made it into their doggie religion.
 
Twila
#2
Maybe they are just paying their respects to the oldest dog in the pack?


We had a dog that loved the smell of pot and would sit next to whoever held the dooby.
 
Cosmo
#3
Rev ... just be glad you don't use Oil of Olay face cream as well! Moche goes berserk for it ... leaping up (jack russells can really jump!) to lick the stuff off our faces. If we happen to put it on before bed, it's a major tussle to keep her from slobbering it all off our faces. No wrinkles on her tongue!

As for the arthritis ... did you know that drinking lots of water and taking calcium supplements do help? Doesn't sound logical, but it's true. If that fails, there's always rum.
 
Reverend Blair
#4
Quote:

As for the arthritis ... did you know that drinking lots of water and taking calcium supplements do help?

Do does beer.
 
Ten Packs
#5
Hey Rev? Being co-"sufferers", you and I have chatted about this before, but I dont think since I discovered LAKOTA!

This crap really works! I use it on MY knees too - being an "herbal", it takes a while for you to notice any effect (a week minimum, probably longer), and it's sure not cheap. But by gum, it's the cock for Dolly!

Try it.....


oh, ps - and it's made in Dawson Creek, of all places! Go figure.
 
Jo Canadian
#6
Quote:

...I discovered LAKOTA!

This crap really works! I use it on MY knees too - being an "herbal", it takes a while for you to notice any effect (a week minimum, probably longer), and it's sure not cheap. But by gum, it's the cock for Dolly!

That's quite interesting, my mother who suffers has given that a try considers it pretty much "snake oil" with some good marketing (**qeue in loon sounds**). But since everyones physiology is different it just may have effected her in a different manner.

I did get her to try weed a couple of times and she found it effective but it only lasted a couple hours and she wasn't interested in smoking pot 12 times a day.
 
Reverend Blair
#7
I got no effect from Lakota at all. I used it for about a month. Pot does work, but I find I can't get anything done when I smoke it, so it's no really worthwhile.

What works best is moderate exercise. If I over do it though, like I did at the snake pits yesterday, things get worse instead of better.
 
peapod
#8
(**qeue in loon sounds**).
OMG!OMG! that was so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
 
zenfisher
#9
Rev, try Glucosamine and Chondroitin. ( It is important to have both G-1500 mg & C-1200 mg per day) It takes a couple of weeks, but they seem to work. My knees rarely bother me too much ( like you say intense exercise will still set them off.)
 
Reverend Blair
#10
Yup, tried it. Didn't work. Mrs Rev still buys me cherry flavoured glucosamine though, and I drink it down to make her happy.

The difference, I think, is likely in that I have rheumatoid arthritis. It doesn't respond to much. What it does respond to makes me bleed. You know me, Zen...given my predisposition for both bleeding and doing things that cause bleeding I think I'm likely better off just limping a bit.
 
zenfisher
#11
Not the stuff you drink...pills are for more effective.
 
Reverend Blair
#12
Shhh...she had me on the pills and when I quit eating them I told her it was because I hated pills. Now she's got me on the cherry stuff. It's just as ineffective, but it tastes better.
 
zenfisher
#13
Wel no wonder they didn't work...hmm hope she doesn't read this site ... She mght try suppositories when your sleeping.
 
Reverend Blair
#14
Worse yet...she might try them when I'm awake.
 
Twila
#15
Suppositories. When you don't know what's wrong with someone or how to treat it and all else has failed stick something up their butt.

Where did this logic come from? Doctors are perves. Plain and simple.
 
Ten Packs
#16
Makes me glad that men can't get a yeast infection....
 
Twila
#17
Ten Packs, somebody's been lying to you if you believe that. Because....they can....they are the leading cause of reinfection for women. Don't you just love this little factoids?
 
Reverend Blair
#18
Actually when I had an ear infection the doctor said it was some kind of yeast. Now I'm wondering what was in those ear drops.
 
peapod
#19
How did it get from my bee problem to the rev's yeast problem. Man that sounds weird
 
zenfisher
#20
Bees...Yeast...sounds like we have the start of a recipe for mead.
 
peapod
#21
Ya and don't forget the bunnypants cookies :P
 
zenfisher
#22
I never do.My favourite
 
peapod
#23
Okay thats it Where is this bunnypants cookie receipe anyway. Talk talk talk...but never any proof.

Sorry sparky got me all crabby What drunk that broad is a couple of cuba libre's ( who the hell drinks cuba libres??) She justs wants those umbrellas. What a weirdo. Anyway what does she do, she sticks something with tinfoil on it in my mircrowave, well it made a mess, and it made me mad, you don't just stick a pound of butter in the mircowave and hit the button for a minute and walk away. A pound of butter on a bowl of popcorn?? Okay sparky now I am mad, so your gonna get a lecture...Wait where you going? whata doing? Do Not Hit That Button Sparky!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! she hit the button, low blow sparky........dam her! NEW ORDER TEMPTATION!!!!!!!! No way, I am not falling for this, back to butter! quit groovy sparky, I wanna lecture...I am stronger than new order, hey why are my shoulders moving?? I never told them to do it, it must have been new order. Okay sista let take it to the floor, all the way down sista and all the way back up, and when you get there do rock, paper sissors a few times. Cool, now let go back down and this time see if you knock your knees together just like elvis, do something with your hands sparky...fine, now the ministry of walk, around my plant. We match each other move for move leap for leap spring for spring. New order temptation always makes me forget why I was even mad.
Sparky, that one is vey cagey
 
zenfisher
#24
Sorry Gramma's secret recipe. Edge modified and improved it. Interesting lyrics...
 
peapod
#25
Don't give me that secret grandma receipe crap Everything is for sale at the right price....lyrics?? what lyrics?? I don't hear anything
 
zenfisher
#26
Hmmm... I wonder if I am becoming a pod person? It would explain the lyrics.
 
peapod
#27
Hey you were a pod person long before you ever came to this board, the real question is when are galaniomama and myself and cosmos gonna meet you and edgie..We want to meet Edgie!!! Sparky is passed out on my couch I thought that weirdo went home. :P
 
zenfisher
#28
I might be able to swing some time off in June or July.We will have to wait and see at this point.I don't know if I would say I was a pod person...ask the Rev ...he'll tell you their aren't too many like me.
 
peapod
#29
Well I don't have to ask the rev, I already know the answer :P The rev is a good man, he fights the good fight. You and edgie must come and visit, we insist! Of all the people here at the board you and edgie we gotta meet I think edgie's got some mojo happenin there
 
zenfisher
#30
She does Peapod....she does.
 

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