starbuck horror stories


peapod
#1
Wow! I tell you the stories the boys told me tonight. It started off just usual yaking and for some reason contact cement came up. Well big D (identity changed) starts telling us about what happened to his work jeans. He is a carpenter, and his jeans were had to many holes. He decided to patch up the holes, and he used contact cement to glue the material down. ( He had some left from a job). Well since it was early in the morning, maybe he was not quite awake...because guess what he did next??? he lit a cigarette . His pants caught on fire...the only good thing was he was in his underwear when he patching his jeans. ..

the next story is unbelievable...wanna hear it???????
 
Vanni Fucci
#2
I'm on the edge of my seat here, Pea...
 
peapod
#3
K..this one is bad...from ticker man, I call him this because he deals in stocks.
Ticker man had to change the light bulb in his bedroom, the fixture was located above his bed. So he jumped on his bed and started to put a new light bulb in. Well as you know standing on a bed, trying to screw a light bulb in, one could lose their balance. He did, and he fell back againist the painting pole that was next to his bed. He had just painted the bedroom. Well now this is where it gets scary The pole just missed his you know what and went right between his legs, and it was at the oppsite end of his feet. He said he was could not walk for a few days and was badly bruised. He did not have to explain where.

the next one is even worse.
 
Vanni Fucci
#4
gak...even worse you say?...
 
peapod
#5
Well yes..here is the worst one!!!!
This one is told by bob cat rob. Once when he was working on a construction site, a guy started up a 3hp router. He actually maybe had the router a little to close, maybe Well as you can imagine, it was a large bit. Well it knicked his jeans, and when it did it created a small hole, and router sucked out his underwear!!! Thats right sucked his underwear right outa the hole. He had to get 3 stitches, you know where. Bob cat rob thought the funniest thing was the router on the floor bouncing around with underwear.

There is more if your interested :P
 
peapod
#6
I will proceed anyway.. the next story is from banker bill. Like a bank manager could have anything like that happen to them It was a fellow banker that this happened to. Apparently he was taking a lunch time stroll on marinia. Of course being a bank, he would be wearing a suit, and it was one of those misty days, so he had one of those banker type coat. The ones that make them look like secret agents. Anyway, he strolls by a huge propane heater that is going, drying out wood I think. As he passes by the heater, his flowing secret agent coat that trails behind him catches on fire. Well the next thing you know someone pushes him right off the wharf, I think it was 20 ft or so to the water. When he finally got pulled back on the wharf, all that was left of his secret agent overcoat was the collar and sleeves. The rest had burned up. Can you believe that happened to a banker
 
Vanni Fucci
#7
Quote: Originally Posted by peapod

Can you believe that happened to a banker

I wish I could do that to my banker... :P
 
peapod
#8
okay here is the last one...rather tame compared to the others. This one comes from the elder welder. :P

Since he is a welder, his wife washes his coveralls, well once she soaked them in disel fuel, to remove the grease. Of course than she washed them. When elder welder was at work the next day, welding of course, he looked down and his coveralls were on fire. Forturneately he saw it before he was completely set on fire. :P Now henry tells me he as some his own horror stories, so I will await his "horror stories".
 
EmmaDibbs
#9
Those are great Pea... this is funny too, in a twisted sort of way.

I get back from the lovely BC- get into work and of course people start updating me with what has happened while I've been away. People have left, people are pregnant, people are sick, people are gay... all the standard things that seem to happen in the mad and exciting world of locksmithing!!! Anyway someone tells me that one of the directors has snapped the tendon in his finger...nasty I say...how did he do that...laughter, just laughter!! Battling off muggers? Saving a small child from certain death? No...he was taking his sock off!!!

Men- always a drama!
 
peapod
#10
Well emma I have to say nothing really tops your april fools story
 
Frappuccino Dibs
#11
I don't know about that.

I personally think the story of one of my colleagues replacing the photo in another colleagues passport with a picture of Bin Laden just before a business trip is pretty damn funny too.
 
peapod
#12
Yes it was, but I am still voting for emmas story...the sisters stick together frap
 
Frappuccino Dibs
#13
A friend of mine pee'd on an electric fence one - now that was funny. Of course he didn't know it was electric until he started.
 
peapod
#14
More details frap :P
 
galianomama
#15
yeah, more details frap.....don't leave us 'hanging'...ha ha

well, we all know about the poodle in the micro and stuff like that, i could tell the story of a 'guy i know' who being fairly ****, decided at 11 pm to clean the chandelier and the light bulbs, but of course left the light on so he could see the dust on the light bulbs. when it exploded he basically did in his right hand (which, by the way, is also his 'money' hand) and was out of commission for about 6 weeks.

(( i heard the explosion and very slowly came into the house from the studio, i knew it wasn't going to be a nice site....just wasn't sure what i would be met with!))
 
Frappuccino Dibs
#16
The guy who pee'd on the fence; He claimed to have been pitching a tent for about an hour after the event

Thankfully, I have no idea if this is true.
 
galianomama
#17
ha! that's hilarious frap! anymore good ones to tell?
 
peapod
#18
Thats good frap, now I have a horror story to tell the boys :P
 
Hard-Luck Henry
#19
We used to build swings as kids, as everyone does. This particular swing was high up in the branches of a huge oak tree, which was itself high up the side of a steep hill. So, when you were at the highest point of the swing, you were probably 50 feet in the air. Anyway, being kids, and not structural engineers, we didn't bother with fancy stuff like proper knots, or questioning where this tatty old rope came from, that sort of thing, and the 'handle' such as it was, was a sturdy looking branch which we found on the floor.

I say it "looked" sturdy. What happened next was this: 'Lanky' took a massive run up, a soared majestically up to the woodland canopy. There was the usual brief pause at the top, Lanky hanging on for dear life against the centrifugal force that was trying to fling him across the nearby river (you definitely don't want to let go at this point), then the return to earth began. Time slowed to a crawl as Lanky plummeted, not in the usual gentle arc back toward the hill, but straight down like a skydiver. Without a parachute. We could clearly see the look on his face change from childish glee :P , to gentle confusion (as he looked from one piece of branch to the other) , to a kind of resignation , then to abject fear as he realised what was fast approaching.

There was path, built by the local rangers, directly beneath Lanky. Well, this path was bordered with smallish logs (still is; still makes me wince), and Lanky was still vainly clutching a piece of branch in each hand. At last his journey came to a halt - forearms first, right across one of the aforementioned logs. Of course, we were worried for our friend - that was seriously scary **** - so when he finally forced his way up onto his knees, relief overcame us all, and we rolled around, screaming with laughter. Lanky started crying; it was then we noticed his hands, dangling limply in fronf of him. Sure enough, he'd shattered both arms - radius and ulna - and didn't think it was "****in' funny, you bastards!"

Anyway, the funny thing is, some considerable weeks later, the day after he finally had the plastercasts removed, was Lanky's 15th birthday. Well, there's a tradition in British playgrounds, known as "the bumps", whereby the birthday boy is thrown up into the air by a gang of "mates", one "bump" for every year. Needless to say, they dropped him on his elbows, one of which was duly broken.

Some guys have all the luck.
 
Reverend Blair
#20
Whizzing on the electric fence is never a good idea. Neither is turning your back on your brother when he's playing with an electric bull prod. You learn these things early on the farm.

My favourite shocking story though? My little brother had this yellow Fiat. Being a Fiat, decided not to start one day. He was trying to find out if it was lacking spark or fuel but wasn't sure how to check the spark.

I pulled off one of the spark plug wires and told him to put his finger in it. Then I went and turned the key. I'm not sure how I managed to keep a straight face, but I did.

When the voltage hit his finger he jumped about three feet in the air. Then he threw some wrenches at me. It still makes me laugh.
 
Twila
#21
I had a friend who use to like to run over rabbits and shoot at them with a pellet gun. He thought it would be funny to bring me along on his adventure.....I asked if I could try. He said yes. Turns out I have excellent aim and can hit an *** at 3 feet. I can also run like the wind. It was a long walk home but well worth it.
 
peapod
#22
I never get any opportunities like that twila.
 
Reverend Blair
#23
A little hint about pellet guns...it hurts them a hell of a lot more and hell of a lot longer if you whack them between the eyes with the stock.
 
Jo Canadian
#24
Pellet guns also smart like hell if you fill them up with NerdsTM. It's a little less lethal, and you can stick a whole bunch in instead of one pellet.
 
Frappuccino Dibs
#25
One day myself and the guy who pee'd on the electric fence were playing darts.

Most people understand that darts consists of thowing darts at a purpose made target.

Our dart board currently had a picture of some celebrity on it, in order to enable us to practice our target shooting with my air rifle. Therefore we were using the next best thing as a target - ourselves.

The game was played with us stood at either end of the room. We would then take turns throwing darts into the floor as close to the other person as possible. What a fun game I hear you say

It was my turn. I lined up, took a deep breath, took aim and hurled my dart. It was a good one, it was going to miss my friend by inches - fantastic! He was not so sure. In a desperate attempt to save himself brought on by a primal instinct for self preservation, my mate decided to leap out of the way. It was a good leap, plenty of flourish and panache and worthy of an olympic high jumper. Unfortunately for him, all he did was ensure that the dart actually did hit him. He would have been safe if he hadn't moved.

All pretty funny, but the funniest parts to this story are firstly that my friend had decided that he would play this game with bare feet and secondly his reaction. He slowly lifted his bare foot with a dart sticking out of it, looked at it for a few seconds, turned slowly to me and said quite calmly.... "I've got a dart in my foot".

Well, two weeks later after a load of anti-biotics and a plaster or two, he was fine.
 
peapod
#26
You know I never realized that darts could be fun The next time somebody asks me to play, I am going to give it a try. I won't wear shoes either :P

As always big H, your story was
 
EmmaDibbs
#27
We had a rope swing too Henry- it claimed many victims!! The swing took you out right over a main road...not too safe but you don't think of that when you are a kid. Anyway I was playing on it with a friend and we decided it would be a good idea to take a real long run up and jump on to it so we swang right out over the road, that was OK, apart from the fact that I swang right into a tree root that was sticking out of the ground and really hurt my back!! I still have a numb patch there today!!

One of my friends had an incident with that swing too. Her cousin came over to visit from Holland and she was under strict instruction to take him out, but stay away from the tree!! Surprisingly enough the tree drew them to it- he swang out over the road, lost his grip, fell down on to the road and broke his arm...couldn't really hide that!! LOL.

Funnily enough someone went up there and cut the branch off that tree- I'm sure the kids have found another one though!!
 
Twila
#28
Quote:

A little hint about pellet guns...it hurts them a hell of a lot more and hell of a lot longer if you whack them between the eyes with the stock

I don't know about that. The size of the bruise on his *** was the size of his ***.
 
Frappuccino Dibs
#29
Ah yes, the rope swing! Such fine memories I have of that rope swing.

Electric fence boy, various other old friends and myself descovered that it was really cool to let go of the swing at about 30 foot from the ground and land in a strategically placed bush
 

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