Quote: Originally Posted by no1important
for steady sex...
Anybody who thinks getting married means steady sex obviously hasn't been around the block. If frequency is all you're interested in, you're probably better off staying single. Unless you're a totally gormless and hideous dork, you can get laid any night of the week, if you're not too fussy.
Well, maybe it depends on what's meant by "steady." I've been married for nigh on to 25 years, and if there's one word I could accurately apply to my sex life, it wouldn't be steady, if it means regular, frequent, and predictable. There have been episodes of twice a night, and episodes of once every two months, with no discernible pattern.
But the key point is, it fundamentally doesn't matter, unless there's no action happening at all. Nobody should be keeping score, and if you are, I suggest you've got some other issues that need to be dealt with. Nobody but a horny adolescent feels like doing it all the time. I'm not so old that I don't remember that, but I'm also old enough to know that frequency has nothing to do with anything that matters.
If you marry somebody and expect it to last a lifetime, you have to be friends first. If you're not, when trouble comes, and it surely will, you won't care enough about each other to see it through. If lovers is all you are, you lose, I guarantee you won't make it past five years. You can't be madly in love all the time, it takes too much energy, friendship is what will carry you over the rough spots and keep you together. And the best thing about that is, if you're friends you can fall in love all over again, repeatedly, for as long as you live. There will be fabulous highs, and devastating lows. I married my lovely wife in 1980, and I've fallen in love with her all over again at least a dozen times since. And I've also hated her at least a dozen times since. But she was my friend, so I stayed.
That's why I married. I met someone, after years of angst and grief and failed relationships, that I admired and respected enough that I didn't ever want to be without her, and she felt the same. Did I just get really lucky? I dunno. Maybe, but I hope not; I'd like to believe it can happen to all of us.
Bottom line: marry your best friend and confidante. Who knows you better and cares about you more? And if you happen to be the same gender...well, whose business is that but yours? Go for it, it seems to be legal in most jurisdictions now. Do what makes you happy.