Quote: Originally Posted by ice water
Is it a big question?
Hi Ice Water! We haven't met yet ... I've been spending more time napping than on the computer lately.
Welcome to the forum.
I think it is a huge question.
Like no1important mentioned, we are brainwashed from birth that we grow up, get married, have a family. Any deviation from that norm makes people very, very nervous. I married (a guy) at 19 for that exact reason. It was a big mistake!!
Now I'm in my mid 40s and pondering the question again. Same sex marriage has become an option to us and suddenly life has gone from, "Gee, I'd marry you if I could" to "Why do we want to marry?". My partner and I have ordered our rings and are trying to decide what kind of ceremony we want, but we are definitely going to get married.
Getting to this point took some real soul searching. We love one another. Is that not enough? Why do we need the paper to prove it?
For me, it comes down to the basic definition of the word "wed". The etymology of the word comes from Middle English wedden, from Old English weddian; akin to Middle High German wetten to pledge, Old English wedd pledge, Old High German wetti, Gothic wadi, Latin vad-, vas bail, security.
It's about making a promise where words alone are not sufficient. A trustworthy pledge needs some sort of action accompanying it, some sort of ritual, to take it from an abstract idea to a touchable reality. "Never believe what a person says, but believe what a person does", to paraphrase.
I like what TenPacks said about it. When you find that person who you want to stay with, there is a security and a freedom in commitment. Until I met my partner, I never understood that. I was NOT the marrying type. Couldn't comprehend waking up to the same sack of bones for the rest of my life. Now I can't imagine waking up to anyone else. And when times get rocky, all we need to do is talk about why we fell in love, reminisce about when we met and the feelings around that ... exactly as TenPacks said. To remember why we are together is enough to carry us through the most difficult of days.
So ya, I think it's an important question.