Why do you marry?


ice water
#31
Quote: Originally Posted by Ten Packs

Quote: Originally Posted by ice waterQuote: Originally Posted by Ten PacksNo, it's just a foolish question....
You marry because there is no one you would rather be with, no one else you would prefer to DO for, no one you would trust more to do for YOU. No one you would help more, no one you would rather teach AND learn from, no one you would like to laugh with, cry with, worry with, and face Life's battles beside - see grey hair, aching joints, sagging figures, slower movement and increasingly earlier bed-times with.
And through it all, you still remember WHY, all those years ago..... it was a good idea.
And THAT, my friend, is from a "first-timer" who will celebrate 33 years, this July 24 .....Maybe, or maybe you say so because you and your friend have happy marriage. What about if some people have unhappy marriage? Or it was happy but then turned out to be unhappy ... one of my friends has this problem - they quarrel nearly every day.

Quote has been trimmed
I don't forget ... just think it's complicated.
 
ice water
#32
Quote: Originally Posted by Ten Packs

Quote: Originally Posted by ice waterQuote: Originally Posted by Ten PacksNo, it's just a foolish question....
You marry because there is no one you would rather be with, no one else you would prefer to DO for, no one you would trust more to do for YOU. No one you would help more, no one you would rather teach AND learn from, no one you would like to laugh with, cry with, worry with, and face Life's battles beside - see grey hair, aching joints, sagging figures, slower movement and increasingly earlier bed-times with.
And through it all, you still remember WHY, all those years ago..... it was a good idea.
And THAT, my friend, is from a "first-timer" who will celebrate 33 years, this July 24 .....Maybe, or maybe you say so because you and your friend have happy marriage. What about if some people have unhappy marriage? Or it was happy but then turned out to be unhappy ... one of my friends has this problem - they quarrel nearly every day.

Quote has been trimmed
I don't forget ... just think it's complicated.
 
ice water
#33
Quote: Originally Posted by Ten Packs

Quote: Originally Posted by ice waterQuote: Originally Posted by Ten PacksNo, it's just a foolish question....
You marry because there is no one you would rather be with, no one else you would prefer to DO for, no one you would trust more to do for YOU. No one you would help more, no one you would rather teach AND learn from, no one you would like to laugh with, cry with, worry with, and face Life's battles beside - see grey hair, aching joints, sagging figures, slower movement and increasingly earlier bed-times with.
And through it all, you still remember WHY, all those years ago..... it was a good idea.
And THAT, my friend, is from a "first-timer" who will celebrate 33 years, this July 24 .....Maybe, or maybe you say so because you and your friend have happy marriage. What about if some people have unhappy marriage? Or it was happy but then turned out to be unhappy ... one of my friends has this problem - they quarrel nearly every day.

Quote has been trimmed
I don't forget ... just think it's complicated.
 
Ten Packs
#34
Quote: Originally Posted by ice water

I don't forget ... just think it's complicated.


Well, icewater - we're talking about with WOMEN HERE!


Hahahahaha!!!
 
Ten Packs
#35
Quote: Originally Posted by ice water

I don't forget ... just think it's complicated.


Well, icewater - we're talking about with WOMEN HERE!


Hahahahaha!!!
 
Ten Packs
#36
Quote: Originally Posted by ice water

I don't forget ... just think it's complicated.


Well, icewater - we're talking about with WOMEN HERE!


Hahahahaha!!!
 
ice water
#37
Quote: Originally Posted by Ten Packs

nun-chakus???

a new word for me
 
ice water
#38
Quote: Originally Posted by Ten Packs

nun-chakus???

a new word for me
 
ice water
#39
Quote: Originally Posted by Ten Packs

nun-chakus???

a new word for me
 
Ten Packs
#40
I thought you were from China?
 
Ten Packs
#41
I thought you were from China?
 
Ten Packs
#42
I thought you were from China?
 
ice water
#43
so ... ?


Also, why should we distinguish men or women when talking this topic?
 
ice water
#44
so ... ?


Also, why should we distinguish men or women when talking this topic?
 
ice water
#45
so ... ?


Also, why should we distinguish men or women when talking this topic?
 
Ten Packs
#46
I see you HAVEN'T been married....
 
Ten Packs
#47
I see you HAVEN'T been married....
 
Ten Packs
#48
I see you HAVEN'T been married....
 
ice water
#49
oh, it's a private issue.
 
ice water
#50
oh, it's a private issue.
 
ice water
#51
oh, it's a private issue.
 
ice water
#52
Quote: Originally Posted by no1important

for steady sex and to have kids.

Love. Companionship. Also because we are brainwashed from birth we have to get married. Plus I hate being alone.

sounds reasonable.

what do you think of the French proverb: "Marriage is like a fortress besieged: those who are outside want to get in, and those who are inside want to get out."
 
ice water
#53
Quote: Originally Posted by no1important

for steady sex and to have kids.

Love. Companionship. Also because we are brainwashed from birth we have to get married. Plus I hate being alone.

sounds reasonable.

what do you think of the French proverb: "Marriage is like a fortress besieged: those who are outside want to get in, and those who are inside want to get out."
 
ice water
#54
Quote: Originally Posted by no1important

for steady sex and to have kids.

Love. Companionship. Also because we are brainwashed from birth we have to get married. Plus I hate being alone.

sounds reasonable.

what do you think of the French proverb: "Marriage is like a fortress besieged: those who are outside want to get in, and those who are inside want to get out."
 
Cosmo
#55
Quote: Originally Posted by ice water

Is it a big question?

Hi Ice Water! We haven't met yet ... I've been spending more time napping than on the computer lately. Welcome to the forum.

I think it is a huge question.

Like no1important mentioned, we are brainwashed from birth that we grow up, get married, have a family. Any deviation from that norm makes people very, very nervous. I married (a guy) at 19 for that exact reason. It was a big mistake!!

Now I'm in my mid 40s and pondering the question again. Same sex marriage has become an option to us and suddenly life has gone from, "Gee, I'd marry you if I could" to "Why do we want to marry?". My partner and I have ordered our rings and are trying to decide what kind of ceremony we want, but we are definitely going to get married.

Getting to this point took some real soul searching. We love one another. Is that not enough? Why do we need the paper to prove it?

For me, it comes down to the basic definition of the word "wed". The etymology of the word comes from Middle English wedden, from Old English weddian; akin to Middle High German wetten to pledge, Old English wedd pledge, Old High German wetti, Gothic wadi, Latin vad-, vas bail, security.

It's about making a promise where words alone are not sufficient. A trustworthy pledge needs some sort of action accompanying it, some sort of ritual, to take it from an abstract idea to a touchable reality. "Never believe what a person says, but believe what a person does", to paraphrase.

I like what TenPacks said about it. When you find that person who you want to stay with, there is a security and a freedom in commitment. Until I met my partner, I never understood that. I was NOT the marrying type. Couldn't comprehend waking up to the same sack of bones for the rest of my life. Now I can't imagine waking up to anyone else. And when times get rocky, all we need to do is talk about why we fell in love, reminisce about when we met and the feelings around that ... exactly as TenPacks said. To remember why we are together is enough to carry us through the most difficult of days.

So ya, I think it's an important question.
 
Cosmo
#56
Quote: Originally Posted by ice water

Is it a big question?

Hi Ice Water! We haven't met yet ... I've been spending more time napping than on the computer lately. Welcome to the forum.

I think it is a huge question.

Like no1important mentioned, we are brainwashed from birth that we grow up, get married, have a family. Any deviation from that norm makes people very, very nervous. I married (a guy) at 19 for that exact reason. It was a big mistake!!

Now I'm in my mid 40s and pondering the question again. Same sex marriage has become an option to us and suddenly life has gone from, "Gee, I'd marry you if I could" to "Why do we want to marry?". My partner and I have ordered our rings and are trying to decide what kind of ceremony we want, but we are definitely going to get married.

Getting to this point took some real soul searching. We love one another. Is that not enough? Why do we need the paper to prove it?

For me, it comes down to the basic definition of the word "wed". The etymology of the word comes from Middle English wedden, from Old English weddian; akin to Middle High German wetten to pledge, Old English wedd pledge, Old High German wetti, Gothic wadi, Latin vad-, vas bail, security.

It's about making a promise where words alone are not sufficient. A trustworthy pledge needs some sort of action accompanying it, some sort of ritual, to take it from an abstract idea to a touchable reality. "Never believe what a person says, but believe what a person does", to paraphrase.

I like what TenPacks said about it. When you find that person who you want to stay with, there is a security and a freedom in commitment. Until I met my partner, I never understood that. I was NOT the marrying type. Couldn't comprehend waking up to the same sack of bones for the rest of my life. Now I can't imagine waking up to anyone else. And when times get rocky, all we need to do is talk about why we fell in love, reminisce about when we met and the feelings around that ... exactly as TenPacks said. To remember why we are together is enough to carry us through the most difficult of days.

So ya, I think it's an important question.
 
Cosmo
#57
Quote: Originally Posted by ice water

Is it a big question?

Hi Ice Water! We haven't met yet ... I've been spending more time napping than on the computer lately. Welcome to the forum.

I think it is a huge question.

Like no1important mentioned, we are brainwashed from birth that we grow up, get married, have a family. Any deviation from that norm makes people very, very nervous. I married (a guy) at 19 for that exact reason. It was a big mistake!!

Now I'm in my mid 40s and pondering the question again. Same sex marriage has become an option to us and suddenly life has gone from, "Gee, I'd marry you if I could" to "Why do we want to marry?". My partner and I have ordered our rings and are trying to decide what kind of ceremony we want, but we are definitely going to get married.

Getting to this point took some real soul searching. We love one another. Is that not enough? Why do we need the paper to prove it?

For me, it comes down to the basic definition of the word "wed". The etymology of the word comes from Middle English wedden, from Old English weddian; akin to Middle High German wetten to pledge, Old English wedd pledge, Old High German wetti, Gothic wadi, Latin vad-, vas bail, security.

It's about making a promise where words alone are not sufficient. A trustworthy pledge needs some sort of action accompanying it, some sort of ritual, to take it from an abstract idea to a touchable reality. "Never believe what a person says, but believe what a person does", to paraphrase.

I like what TenPacks said about it. When you find that person who you want to stay with, there is a security and a freedom in commitment. Until I met my partner, I never understood that. I was NOT the marrying type. Couldn't comprehend waking up to the same sack of bones for the rest of my life. Now I can't imagine waking up to anyone else. And when times get rocky, all we need to do is talk about why we fell in love, reminisce about when we met and the feelings around that ... exactly as TenPacks said. To remember why we are together is enough to carry us through the most difficult of days.

So ya, I think it's an important question.
 
ice water
#58
Thank you, Cosmo!

Your story and words are very impressive. I thought for some time ... although maybe some of them I can not understand clearly currently.

I also think what TenPacks pictured is a good reason for marriage, what missile said is a accidently lucky reason, and what no1important mentioned is a sensible reason. But you have good, lucky, and sensible reasons.

Congratulations!!!

btw, you are lucky also because in some other cultures, people will not divorce even if they have miserable marriages.
 
ice water
#59
Thank you, Cosmo!

Your story and words are very impressive. I thought for some time ... although maybe some of them I can not understand clearly currently.

I also think what TenPacks pictured is a good reason for marriage, what missile said is a accidently lucky reason, and what no1important mentioned is a sensible reason. But you have good, lucky, and sensible reasons.

Congratulations!!!

btw, you are lucky also because in some other cultures, people will not divorce even if they have miserable marriages.
 
ice water
#60
Thank you, Cosmo!

Your story and words are very impressive. I thought for some time ... although maybe some of them I can not understand clearly currently.

I also think what TenPacks pictured is a good reason for marriage, what missile said is a accidently lucky reason, and what no1important mentioned is a sensible reason. But you have good, lucky, and sensible reasons.

Congratulations!!!

btw, you are lucky also because in some other cultures, people will not divorce even if they have miserable marriages.
 

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