Weihnachten? Why not?!


Pemmican
#1
As I now know, most of you are professionals in German, I would like to present you a really funny German-English Christmas poem that's been circulating in e-Mails and magazines for a couple of years already... unfortunately, the author is unknown - The word order is messed up all the time, sometimes the text is in German with English word order, sometimes it's in English with German word order, or just everything is messed up... - anyway, hope you'll like it:
(I have translated/explained words marked with * at the bottom of this posting )



Why Nachten* ? Why not !

When the last Kalender-sheets
flattern* through the winterstreets
and Dezemberwind is blowing,
then is everybody knowing
that it is not allzuweit*:
here she comes - the Weihnachtszeit*.

All the Menschen, Leute*, people
flippen out* of ihr warm Stüble*,
run to Kaufhof, Aldi, Mess*,
make Konsum and business.
Kaufen* this und jene* things
and the Churchturmglocke* rings.

Manche* holen sich* a Tännchen*,
when this brennt*, they cry "Attention".
Rufen* for the Feuerwehr*:
"Please come quick to löschen* her*!"
Goes the Tännchen off in Rauch*,
they are standing on the Schlauch*.

In the kitchen of the house
mother makes the Christmasschmaus*.
She is working, schufts* and bakes
the hit is now her Joghurtkeks*.
And the Opa* says als Tester*:
"We are killed bis* to Silvester*".

Then he fills the last Glas wine -
yes, this is the christmastime!
Day by day does so vergang*,
and the Holy night does come.
You can think, you can remember,
this is immer* in Dezember.

Then the childrenlein* are coming
candle-Wachs* is abwärts* running.
Bing of Crosby Christmas sings
while the Towerglocke* rings
and the angels look so fine -
well this is the Weihnachtstime.

Baby-eyes are big and rund*,
the familiy feels kerngesund*
when unterm* Weihnachtsbaum* they're hocking*
then nothing can them ever shocking.
They are so happy, are so fine -
this happens in the Christmastime!

The animals all in the house,
the Hund*, the Katz'*, the bird, the mouse,
are turning round the Weihnachtsstreß*,
enjoy this day as never nie*,
well they find Kittekat* and Chappi*
in the Geschenkkarton* von Pappi*.

The familiy begins to sing
and wieder* does a Glöckchen* ring.
Zum song vom grünen* Tannenbaum*
the Tränen* rennen* down and down.
Bis* our mother plötzlich* flennt*:
"The christmas-Gans* im* Ofen* brennt*!"
Her nose indeed is very fine.
This is the end of Weihnachtstime.

But every year - always in December
You can think, you can remember:
Wenn the last Kalender-sheets
flattern down the winter-streets
and Decemberwind is blowing
them ist everybody knowing
that it is not allzuweit:
She does come, the Weihnachtszeit!




"Weihnachten" is the German word for Christmas
flattern = flutter
allzuweit = too far away
"Weihnachtszeit" is female in German, thus "she" instead of 'it' in 'here she comes'
Menschen, Leute = people
ausflippen = flip out (hmmm actually no need for having explained this *lol*)
Stüble -> from 'Stube' = living room
Kaufhof, Aldi, Mess = stores and supermarkets
kaufen = buy
jene = those
Turmglocke = tower bell
manche = some (people)
sich holen = get oneself
Tännchen = fir tree, Christmas tree
brennt -> from brennen = burns
rufen = call
Feuerwehr = fire department, fire fighters
löschen = to put out (a fire)
her-kommen = to come here
Rauch = smoke
Schlauch = hose
Schmaus = dinner, feast
schuften = to work hard, to drudge
Joghurtkeks = yoghurtcookie, yoghurtbiscuit
Opa = grandpa
als Tester = as tester
bis = until
Silvester = New Year's Eve
vergang -> past tense form of vergehen = went by
immer = always
childrenlein -> -lein is a deminutive form = little children
Wachs = wax
abwärts = down
Glocke = bell
rund = round
kerngesund = very wel and healthy
unterm = under the
Weihnachtsbaum = Christmas tree
hocken = cower, crouch
Hund = dog
Katz(e) = cat
Weihnachtsstreß = Christmas stress
nie = never ever
Kittekat = cat food
Chappi = dog food
Geschenkkarton = gift box
Pappi = Daddy
wieder = again
Glöckchen = little bell
grün = green
Tannenbaum = fir tree, Christmas tree
Tränen = tears
rennen = run
bis = until
plötzlich = suddenly
flennt -> from flennen = blubbers, snivels
Gans = goose
im = in the
Ofen = oven
brennt -> from brennen = burns
 
Andem
#2
LOL.. that's a funny article trying to go about in both languages. Sounds strange. I guess it was done that way so it would rhyme better?
 
Pemmican
#3
Quote: Originally Posted by Andem

LOL.. that's a funny article trying to go about in both languages. Sounds strange. I guess it was done that way so it would rhyme better?

Yes, of course - and also to make it even more funny!
I like this poem and I assume it'll be in my e-mail account several times soon as many people send it around
 
Pemmican
#4
Oh - and messing up the two languages is the other point of course, try to translate some English text into Dutch with English word order, or some Dutch text into English with Dutch wrd order... you'll see
 
Rick van Opbergen
#5
That was a funny text pemmican! And should I help you in any way with the Dutch-English translation-thingy?
 
Pemmican
#6
Quote: Originally Posted by Rick van Opbergen

That was a funny text pemmican! And should I help you in any way with the Dutch-English translation-thingy?

I have no clue how to translate this into Dutch - just go ahead, Rick, would be funny to see this text in Dutch-English or Dutch-German or even Dutch-English-German as well *lol*
 
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