New map for North America


Haggis McBagpipe
#1
On Wednesday, our Immigration Canada website had 179,000 visitors, six times its usual traffic, and the vast majority were from the US.

Slate has a great idea for a new map for North America:



Also from Slate, by Dahlia Lithwick:

Here's a quiz, for those of you considering joining the Bush-dodgers relocating to Canada. It isn't about loonies or toonies or socialized medicine. It's about the important stuff—stuff that will determine whether you really want to be a Canadian or just dress like one:

1) Do you like to shoot people? Circle one: yes / no

(If you answered "yes" you should know that there is no Second Amendment or equivalent thereof in the Canadian constitution. Perhaps as a consequence only 22 percent of Canadians own guns as opposed to 49 percent of Americans , while handguns and assault rifles are verboten. Perhaps related to that statistic, the violent crime rate in Canada is 10 times lower than in the United States. This may have no connection to guns, though, and rather a strong correlation to general mellowness of the Canadian temperament. (See Question 3, below.)

2) Have you recently shot someone? Circle one: yes / no

(If you answered yes, you may find Canada appealing. The Canadian courts abolished capital punishment in the '70s, and Canada hasn't seen an execution since 1962. Texas hasn't seen one since about 11 seconds ago.)

3) Do you like to smoke pot? Circle one: yes / no / only for medicinal reasons / only with John Ashcroft

(Judges in at least three provinces have now decriminalized marijuana possession and the federal government is considering decriminalizing it in small quantities. We are advised that the feds also grow great masses of it in large underground caverns and may soon expand the use of these caverns as shelters to which the entire country would retreat in the event of a terrorist attack or to spur mass-munchies in case of a national Doritos glut . And only in Canada would you find marijuana advocates genuinely arguing that people actually drive better stoned.)

4) Are you covered in vast quantities of coarse, black fur? Circle one: yes / no

(Don't kid yourself. It is freakin' cold up there. While 90 percent of Canadians live within 100 miles of the U.S. border, the places they live north of are Green Bay and Buffalo .)

5) Do you like to wear white sneakers (Canadians call these "running shoes") with jeans? Circle one: yes / no

(Canadians are an extraordinarily stylish people, without the excess snobbery of Europeans ; and most of them manifest this by being strikingly well-shod. Canadians generally find themselves perplexed by sh iny tracksuits, leggings, baseball caps, and sweaters with reindeer on them.)

6) Do you generally find being alive to be just fine? Circle one: yes / no

(For some reason Canadians seem to live longer, be healthier, and pay less for these privileges. It has something to do with national health insurance, adequate primary care, particularly for children, and the availability of quality prescription drugs. (See, e.g., Question 3, above.)

7) Are you gay, or, alternatively, do you suspect that the institution of marriage should be open to all couples who are committed to living together and/or raising children in a loving environment? Circle one: yes / no

(Six and possibly soon seven Canadian provinces currently permit gay marriage. Before leaving office last year, Prime Minister Jean Chretien referred the question of the constitutionality of same-sex marriage to the Supreme Court for an opinion. The court hasn't yet decided the question.)

8) Are your political views either too complicated to be expressed in two-word bumper stickers, or, alternatively, do you find that you just don't much care about your neighbors' views on guns/the unborn/or which deity is their copilot? Circle one: yes / no

(Canadians tend to subscribe to a live-and-let-live view of political ideology. It's not that Canadians don't care about their politics or moral issues. It's simply that they appear to operate under the assumption that, whatever their personal beliefs might be, you, their neighbor, may not care all that much to learn every detail of them on the way to the 7-Eleven . As a consequence, T-shirts in Canada are still funny, signage is still commercial, and bumpers are reserved for smashing into telephone poles after cottage parties. [ Cottage: Def. Sprawling lakefront estate in rural Canada, quaintly Hamptonesque but with indoor plumbing optional.] )

9) Are you bored to death of razor-thin margins between radical ideologues in every aspect of public life? Circle one: yes / no

(The 5-4 split on the Canadian Supreme Court is male/female as opposed to crazy/crazier.)

10) Does the idea of pluralism appeal to you? Not just in the sense that I-want-to-be-surrounded-by-lots-of-diverse-and-fascinating-people-who-all-worship-my-Lord, but rather, in the sense, that a country is a richer place for competing values, religions and cultures? Circle one: yes / no

(When Canadians talk about "multiculturalism," it doesn't only mean they're for blondes hanging out with redheads. Canadian TV shows actually teem with racially diverse characters, and the major national catalogs have been known to feature models in wheelchairs. Moreover, Canada has not one but two official languages, and no one seems to be suffering for it. Indeed, some believe it makes them sort of interesting. Certainly it will be interesting when the thousands of Bush-dodgers someday return to the United States to visit relatives and amuse them by explaining that the Teton Mountains actually mean "big boobies" in French.)
 
Rick van Opbergen
#2
wow Canadians are really confident today eh?
 
peapod
#3
yes they are, hope it does not come back and bite them in the *** :P
 
Rick van Opbergen
#4
We'll see, we'll see ...
 
peapod
#5
Ever notice when you point you finger at someone, there are three pointing back at yourself :P try it...point at something...see there are three pointing back at yourself...wonder what it means :P
 
Rick van Opbergen
#6
You mean the three middle fingers?
 
peapod
#7
ya ya....somebody showed me that once, whenever you point the finger at someone else, there are always three pointing back at yourself...which I guess means take your own inventory. :P
 
Rick van Opbergen
#8
I'm always the type of guy who points a finger at people (not my middle finger, just pointing) when people are looking ... not so clever ... I dunno, when people say "look at that person" as in: weirdo/freak whatever, I always act like a dumbass, point at the person and say out loud "you mean that guy/girl?" ...
 
peapod
#9
 
Rick van Opbergen
#10
My sis always gets very angry when I do that ... she just has a fetish for gossiping ... you can not walk through a shopping mall with her without hearing "look at him", "watch that!", "O-H M-Y G-O-D, her hair!" ... *sigh*
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#11
Quote: Originally Posted by Rick van Opbergen

:lol: wow Canadians are really confident today eh?

Ahem, except that this ran on a well-known American site; Slate. Not quite sure the relevance to Canadians feeling really confident today - although I certainly hope they are - but maybe you mean Americans are feeling really unhappy?
 
Rick van Opbergen
#12
Well I mean it as in: both Haggis McBagpipe and Andem posted this article.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#13
You're kidding! Where did Andem post it, oops. I should delete mine if I've double-posted. Then again, it is so hilarious that maybe double-posting is a good thing in this case!
 
Rick van Opbergen
#14
Ehm dunno where he posted it, let me see ... "For Yanks moving to Canada", In the News ...
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#15
Thanks Rick! Man, I have to pay more attention....
 
Rick van Opbergen
#16
of course not! just between you and me: I like your thread better. at least it has a pic. "United States of Canada", "Jesusland" - hilarious!
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#17
Quote: Originally Posted by Rick van Opbergen

:lol: of course not! just between you and me: I like your thread better. at least it has a pic. "United States of Canada", "Jesusland" - hilarious! :lol:

8-) Yeah, that map is what kills me, even the Globe & Mail ran it, it's in the Saturday paper! When I saw it, it was one of those laugh-out-loud things, and I came right over here to post it. Even though, come to think of it, I think I promised somewhere not to post anymore Bush stuff. Well, this is just a plain old map, so it doesn't really count. 8-)
 
Rick van Opbergen
#18
I'll just look the other way
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#19
Quote: Originally Posted by Rick van Opbergen

I'll just look the other way :wink:

Yeah, but I'll probably have a Bush cartoon posted the other way too! 8-)
 
Rick van Opbergen
#20
I do wonder: what's going to happen with Kerry now?
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#21
Well, he is still that 'damn money-spendin' Liberal from Massachusettes' - or at least I assume he kept his seat - but sadly, I don't think he will be the candidate of choice four years from now. Neither will Hillary Clinton, I suspect, because the Dems will be looking for someone even more moderate (read borderline-conservative) to draw voters in an increasingly conservative country.
 
Rick van Opbergen
#22
Aha, well that's a clear prediction. And I have the feeling you're right.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#23
Quote: Originally Posted by Rick van Opbergen

Aha, well that's a clear prediction. And I have the feeling you're right. :(

The rest of the world is stumbling forward, with a hit here and a miss there, but the US is moving backwards. If they're not careful, they're going to put a rip in the world's fabric.

8-) Then again, that's just rhetoric, and really, there is always a chance that this will sort itself out... maybe as the Rev suggests, maybe Bush will get his own nasty self impeached.
 
Rick van Opbergen
#24
Yeah, future will tell eventually.
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#25
Rick, what is generally felt in Europe these days? We saw the initial reaction, one of shock and disbelief, even anger... but what now, now that some days have passed?
 
Rick van Opbergen
#26
Hmmm hard to say. The far majority of Europeans was in favor of Kerry, but Europe is too diverse to come up with clear answers - Danes might have other opinions about this than Frenchmen. A lot of Dutchmen are really disappointed, I can tell you that. However, because Theo van Gogh was murdered on the day of the elections, and the death of Gerrie Kneteman, a famous cyclist, as well that day, the US elections were a bit forgotten. I think the general feeling that Dutchmen have is one of disappointment, but also one of "life goes on". Some are afraid, but that's a minority. Also, you hear some people bitch about the US voting system.

I know this answer is not really satisfieing, but people are aware of what four years of Bush brought to the world, so they feel they are somewhat "prepared". But the hate for Bush is deep, also because the Netherlands is a very liberal country, and the remarks made by Bush and the Republicans about gay marriage, euthanasia and abortion cause a lot of anger by the general population. A lot of people also oppose the close relations our current government have with the US government - that's why it is predicted that if there were elections now, the (socialist) opposition will get some 90 or more seats on a total of 150. But elections are three years away. And until than, it's likely we have to accept the fact our government is a mix of Christian Democrats and Conservatives (Liberals).
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#27
Your answer does tell me more than I had known, thank you, Rick. For some reason (and maybe this is relatively common to North Americans) I was lumping all of Europe under the same mindset. I sure shouldn't do that, because I don't much like it when others do that about us (thinking we're more or less like the US).

How about a brief run-down on your parties, because when you say 'Conservatives (Liberals)', I find it a bit confusing.

I find it so interesting that you want to move here (I guess because while we ponder the idea of moving to Europe, you ponder the idea of moving here... it seems one of us must be wrong, but of course that is not so).

We love the idea of living somewhere where people care more about the environment, where people aren't as obsessed with 'keeping up with the Jones's' and so on. Is this the reality there or are we disillusioned by a pipe dream?

Have you looked into moving here very closely or is it just something you'd like to do one day?
 
Reverend Blair
#28
Quote:

How about a brief run-down on your parties, because when you say 'Conservatives (Liberals)', I find it a bit confusing.

It sounds like the opposite of Paul Martin to me he's a Liberal (Conservative).
 
Haggis McBagpipe
#29
Quote: Originally Posted by Reverend Blair

Quote:

How about a brief run-down on your parties, because when you say 'Conservatives (Liberals)', I find it a bit confusing.

It sounds like the opposite of Paul Martin to me he's a Liberal (Conservative). :lol:

8-) And hell, both make more sense (in a perverse sort of way) than 'compassionate conservative'!
 
Rick van Opbergen
#30
Quote: Originally Posted by Haggis McBagpipe

How about a brief run-down on your parties, because when you say 'Conservatives (Liberals)', I find it a bit confusing.

Ehm sorry, I'll explain, it's my fault. People who belong to the right-wing, are called Liberals here. Before canadiancontent.net, I used to visit a US-based forum (though I guess some 4 out of 10 users weren't American), and there, Liberals (Democrats) are linked to the left-wing. That's why I said 'Conservatives (Liberals)', though that is in essence not even true, 'cause our (right-winged) Liberals are actually even more leftish than the Democratic Party in the US. You know what I mean?

Quote: Originally Posted by Haggis McBagpipe

Have you looked into moving here very closely or is it just something you'd like to do one day?

Not closely. I'm just 18, first I want to finish university, that will take some four, five years from now. But I do want to leave the Netherlands yes.
 

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