Politely Speaking

[Haggis McBagpipe]

Are we too polite? Too rude? Whatever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'? Do the rules of etiquette make sense even today? Do you abide by them? Is the Art of Being Polite something that seems false to you or is it something you miss terribly in a world increasingly lacking in it?

Is not civility the least we can offer each other?

And from our European correspondents, I would ask, what is the etiquette situation over there?

Canadians are known for being polite, but are we really?

What polite habits do you miss in our society?

 

[peapod]

yes...its a deep ponder..and I just ate lunch. For myself I can be both real nice and polite and real rude and quick with acid fireballs :lol: It depends on the situation. Now take for instance my grocery store, I know everybody works hard there, they have a tough job, they gotta be nice all the time. I don't like it when someone treats them badly when I am in a lineup behind them. I don't have a problem telling the stranger either this very same thing. Like who do you think you are treating somebody that way. The ones that are on medication tho, kind piss me off, because I will tell them my little speech when they something not nice..and they reply with things like "your house is blue" whats the point I ask you? and by the way my house is not blue.

So I guess I don't like the working person, you know the real ones that are out there on the front lines, taking verbal and demeaning abuse. And this I can tell you has made me the man....yes I am the man...at my grocery store :wink:

You be nice to me, I will be nice to you! I don't care if you are the queen of sheba...don't mean nothing to me. You be rude and nasty to me....yes! duel at sunrise!!!! weapon of choice...words!!!

 

[bevvyd]

I have found that being nice and polite gets me way further than being rude and impolite.

You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar.

Hey, what exactly is it with bees?

 

[peapod]

Bee??? Little sister there is a whole happening with bees! The stories I could tell you about bees. The secret lives of bees, ring a bell...there are some very good books about bees..you can learn something from there them bees 8)

 

[peapod]

Hey I gotta work now. Its always something ruining your fun..

 

[bevvyd]

But can the bees learn something, like don't fly into bevvyd's face when she's booting it alone at 70Km. My face is just starting to feel normal again.

And what about the little fuzzy dude that took a stroll thru my blouse and popped up in the cleavage area.

And then there was the big fuzzy one that was guarding his fermented plum that I needed to pick up. Stupid thing sent me running when I got buzzed a few times. Don't they know it will attract bears.

 

[Haggis McBagpipe]

I really miss the little things. The 'please' and 'thank you', the genial shaking of hands, all the little kindnesses that we used to take for granted but which are losing ground today.

As for the rude ones, even if someone is exceptionally rude to you, you will always devastate them more effectively and thoroughly with perfect politeness. It is an odd but very true thing.

 

[bevvyd]

So true Haggis, so true.

 

[undergradNITZ]

we need more porn in the workplace...

 

[FireJED]

I think the reason why Canadians are called polite is because they are not ignorant in comparable to the Americans who are close.

If you take that then they might be the same as anybody normal in the world.

 

[bevvyd]

Undergrad in the workplace we have computers and the internet to get all the porn one could ever want. You just want it for free don't ya!

 

[LadyC]

FireJed -
We're also called polite because if someone bumps into us we apologize.


I'm with bevvy - I find I can go a lot further by being polite than I can be being rude (as fun as it may be sometimes!). I feel better afterwards, too. If someone is rude to me, I try a little humour, and that usually helps.

I was pretty impressed with my son when he was little. He always said "please" and "thank you". It was then that I started listening to my husband and myself - we used the words a lot, too.

I hold doors for people and I appreciate it when they do the same for me. And I always make sure I make eye contact when I thank them.

Oh... one more thing. The proper response to "thank you" is "You're welcome" - not "No problem" or "Uh-huh".
:wink:

 

[Diamond Sun]

I was just having a discussion with a friend about this topic exactly. How I thought that you could easily recognize a canadian when you're abroad simply by their politeness. She countered with that Canadians aren't as polite as they used to be. And I guess that is true.

Far too often people don't say thank you for the little things, like holding a door, letting them in in traffic, allowing the person with 2 items in front of you in the check out line (ok, I've never had anybody actually not say thank you for that, but I'm sure the day will come).

I really don't understand that epidemic of rudeness though, especially to those poor front line workers. Like it's the grocery clerks fault that Green Peppers are $5 a pound this week. It's highly unlikely.

I guess all I can do is continue to be my polite little Canadian self and hope that it rubs off on people.

 

[Haggis McBagpipe]

Oh... one more thing. The proper response to "thank you" is "You're welcome" - not "No problem" or "Uh-huh".
:wink:

Yes!! I think 'no problem' is finally going out of style. I think it was almost a verbal tic of sorts, judging by the frequency one heard it.

 

[Haggis McBagpipe]

Re: RE: Politely Speaking

I guess all I can do is continue to be my polite little Canadian self and hope that it rubs off on people.

I think it does rub off on people, at least to a degree, and if nothing else at least you feel good about your own self. Teaching one's kids to be polite is probably the best solution of all.

Do you think that the rudeness today could somehow reflect the frustrations that people feel in the face of an ever more hostile world? Or is it much more elementary than that, a simple matter of a whole generation growing up without learning the basics of politeness?

 

[peapod]

ah....undergrandnitz...school must be out..I see by your post...you are learning good stuff :wink:

I find humor always loosens things up when people are getting up tight..line ups are the worst...Like last week, I was in a lineup at the counter..which is suppose to be faster...but just like driving, there is always somebody in the fast lane, when they should be in the slow line. People were starting to roll their eyes, shift from one foot to the other, tut tut alot, and mutter stuff...The guy at the front of line...first gets his lottery tickets checked, than he wants more tickets with his winning, he bought some flowers, he wants them wrapped, she wraps them and then he decides no, he does not like that wrapping paper, he wants another. The vibe in the line is very hostile now! even the girl serving him as a forced grin on her face. Than he pays with a bank card. I am next in the line....he turns around and says to me..with a big grin....sorry I took so long....to which I replied...No! you are not! the whole line burst out laughing....relieved some of the tension...I made sure I was fast with my purchases...no bag required, this was a ruff line up

 

[Haggis McBagpipe]

Than he pays with a bank card. I am next in the line....he turns around and says to me..with a big grin....sorry I took so long....to which I replied...No! you are not!

Hilarious! What did he say, by the way?

 

[peapod]

Well he just kept grinning...I don't think he got it tho :wink: but hey a grin is better than a sneer...even tho the grin might really be a sneer.

Another thing I like doing to check out other peoples angry meters is letting people in who are trying to get into the lineup...its so funny how someone will go out of their way not to let somebody in. Whats up with that? The poor women has got screaming crying kids in the back seat, she has got to get home..let her in, whats your hurry? This is allowed begrudingly once! but if you let a few more cars in the lane...than it gets ugly. People doing the crazy gesture at you, the finger...the swearing...the ranting you cannot hear...oh its good for a chuckle I tell you..to see how crazy people are.

 

[Haggis McBagpipe]

Ahhh, the joys of road rage, yes. That is a whole other side of the politeness coin, isn't it. I try always to let someone in, but you are right, most people act as though you've somehow caused them personal injury by letting someone else in. I don't understand the thinking at all.

On my bicycle, I find there are varying degrees of niceness by car drivers. On an empty road, most drivers will give me a wide berth, which is nice. Some, though, will come 'way too close to me, even though there is nobody coming the other way. Those ones make me curse bitterly under my breath.

Then you get the drivers who cut right in front of you, thinking they can move fast enough, but in reality making you slam on your bike brakes. One time I followed someone who did that... stalked them, if you will. She sat in her big fat SUV, not wanting to get out. Finally she did, and I just looked at her and asked her why she had cut right in front of me, causing me to nearly wipe out. She was very apologetic, I must say, but ONLY because i called her up on it. The cow.

 

[peapod]

You ride your bike with the traffic!! wow you got guts 8) Not me! I am to scared of that kind of warfare....I ride the goose trail...it goes for miles...I seen what they do to people of bikes on the road. Boot camp..forget it...just hop on bike and go into traffic...I have seen a few bike people give it right back tho! good for them. Sometimes I will sneak out in the morning when there is no traffic around and ride around the streets. Thats when I get to say hey to all the homeless folk..they are out early getting ready for the day.